We Demand It, But We Cannot Deliver
John Toomey
I help Safety & HR Professionals create a Safe, Physically & Mentally Well & Productive Workforce by providing Vibrant, Engaging Educational Talks ??♂? Workplace Wellbeing Speaker ??♂? Ask me about Psychosocial Risk
I was out walking yesterday morning listening to a Rich Roll Podcast with Jack Dorsey, co-founder, and CEO of Twitter and Square.
It was a deeply fascinating interview, learning about the man, the rise of the platform and the challenges it brings.
In recent times, Twitter has been constantly in the news, largely due to the intense use of the platform by former US President Trump. The platform was criticized loudly for allowing his potentially dangerous and destructive rants. Then it was criticized even more loudly when they deleted his account.
At the time I found the whole thing fascinating. Should we be allowing all free speech, or should we be bringing some people into check and blocking them if needed? And who gets to be the arbitrator over that question?
What Makes News?
Listening to Dorsey talk, I realised something. He told many heart-warming stories about things that occur on the Twitter Platform. For example, he talked about how when he was watching a Space-X launch on his Twitter feed, there was a constant stream of encouragement messages to the Space-X team, coming from all over the globe. He shared that it was a special moment, because before Twitter, such a thing was not possible.
I realized then that this sort of story does not make news because it is peaceful and good. It is not alarming and does not create agitation, fear, anger, or some other reactive emotion.
However, all the negativity around twitter during the Trump saga, made headlines, taking aim at the Tech Giant either as some sort of irresponsible group of computer programmers, or a power-hungry group of megalomaniacs seeking to play god.
You cannot win right?
Contemplating this further, I realized that what makes news is what get’s people’s attention. A clue for the future.
It seems that collectively across society, what gets noticed is the things we see as being bad, wrong, evil, or frightening. We seem to struggle to get our attention off these things and onto the things that leave us feeling calm, peaceful, and happy.
What is Really Going On?
I get a sense that the thing most of us try to hide from the rest of the world is that we believe some things that would have others see us as conceited egomaniacs. In our own private universe, I have a sense that many of us believe that:
- Our viewpoint is the right one.
- We are a bit smarter than others.
- We are superior, even if just a little bit.
- And the final one, one that most will never own, is that we have this idea tucked away somewhere that we are pretty much perfect and everyone else is not.
(If your mind instantly responded with “I’m not like that”, then get very suspicious – or curious.)
Of course, there is another part of us that knows this is all rubbish and we are a very flawed character. But we are not keen for others to become aware of our flaws. We are such complex creatures.
Perhaps there are two sides of us. The part we love and think the world of, and the part we do not like, that part we do not want others to see. We know it is there.
When we see another person out in the world doing the wrong thing, or making a terrible mistake, or not doing what our perfect selves think they should, perhaps they remind us of the side of ourselves we do not like. Then we get agitated and start experiencing negative and reactive emotions.
It seems we demand the perfectionism from others that we could never, ever deliver to the world.
This sort of response drives entire economies as we see news broadcasts dominated by negative and disturbing stories. The reminder of what we could be like disturbs us, but then on the other hand, seeing how bad people are can also solidify our sense of our own perfection.
This type of human reaction has been described in modern psychology and right back in time in age old teachings from many cultures.
I am wondering what would happen if all of us decided to change tack and do a few things differently?
Responding Differently
Perhaps we could all take the chance to do a few things differently. If enough of us do, perhaps we can change the world. It is a lofty, but very worthwhile goal.
- Notice when we are thinking or feeling a little superior and realise that is just an idea we have.
- When we see another person doing something that is not cool, perhaps we can remember they have flaw, just like us, that they are a human being who is stumbling along the path of life.
- Also, when we notice ourselves getting agitated over the actions of others, ask ourselves why we are agitated and could we perhaps have been that way at some time.
- Take the opportunity on Social Media and News sights, to click on the positive and happy stories. Push back against the algorithms that seem determined to deliver bad news.
- Send a blessing to people who are suffering, in trouble or drawing unwanted attention.
- Take time to notice when people are doing well, then take a moment to encourage and acknowledge their efforts.
From Reactive to Proactive
Life gives us so many chances to be better. I invite you to take the opportunity to turn your attention away from chastising others, to honest self-correction. I find that when I follow this path, and I have had some great teachers, I am calmer and feel much more at peace. Further, I find it so much easier to be empathetic and to extend compassion.
If you would like to read more about this topic, here is a fabulous article, from my greatest teacher. I recommend reading it daily for a few days. There is so much depth in its teachings.
#wideawake, #wideawakeapp, #johntoomey, #johnetoomey, #globalwellness, #wideawakewellness, #wideawakewellnessco, #bluecollarworkerwellness, #workplacewellnessdownunder, #wellnessthoughtleader, #wideawakeandmindful, #talktober, #themalehug, #myimmunity
Health & Safety Advisor Telecommunications Specialist
4 年I can’t wait to meet you IRL John. You’re a great man and I enjoyed the ‘get curious’.