We created Imposter Syndrome

We create imposters.?

Here's how I know. Let me tell you a story.

When I was a kid, I lived "in town" surrounded by a large swath of New Zealand's sheep-farming rural wonder. Town kids follow the rules. They go to school when school starts, get driver's licenses when they're old enough to drive, and then graduate school to go to university. Following the rules is the key to success for town kids.

But the country kids around me—those who grew up on sheep farms, driving tractors and pickup trucks and motorbikes—no one ever told them there were rules at all. My friends started driving at eight years old. "Can you reach the pedals?" "Yes." "Then go."

You start lambing when the ewes have lambs. And you keep at it until they (the sheep) finish producing lambs. School is nice once the work finishes.

Country kids have no imposter syndrome—at least not about driving! No one told them they couldn't, so they did.

Imposter syndrome. It's everywhere. The feeling that we don't fit in, that somehow, everything or everyone right now has more experience, perspective, or mana (a Maori word for prestige) than we do. And so we shouldn't be here. We're imposters.

Here's the thing: We created the imposter syndrome epidemic. Our society did I mean. Our education system. The way we build organizations and structure corporate events. Every single conference reinforces imposter syndrome. It's all our fault.

Think about it—When you go to a conference, attend a lecture in school, or even join most corporate training environments, the "sage" is wheeled out in front of everyone to talk about how successful they are. They set a bar. A measure. A standard to step up to.?

The Sage sets (perhaps unconsciously) a perfection expectation.

I bet you can name five experts in your industry (or just on LinkedIn) who have created a sense of competition and comparison within you through no fault of their own. The sense of "I should be like them." And because you're you, simply following through on the act of being truly yourself, and ONLY in relation to them, do you feel like an imposter.

If you've never read Bob Goff's book, "Love Does," then I recommend you do. You see, in the months after 9/11 when Bob's kids were pre-teen and looking to make sense of a tragedy-filled world, they decided they wanted to ask world leaders what was happening in the world.?

They wanted five minutes from each world leader to ask about the world and any kindness in it.

So they wrote a letter and sent it off. More than 200 times. To every leader of every nation they could find. Kings. Queens. Prime Ministers. Presidents.?

Twenty-nine said yes, including the president of Switzerland!

What I love about this story—beyond the responses they got from world leaders and letters in reply and even the few who reciprocated the visit by showing up at the Goff household—what I really love is the confidence in identity, the humble knowing of self as a human being, that the Goff family displayed together.

Kids don't know they can't, so they do.

They don't know that you're not supposed to contact heads of state and national leaders personally because those roles are considered exclusive or exalted. They just know those roles are filled by human beings—like them—and human beings can answer questions. And they'd like five minutes, please.

So here's my recommendation. Stop. Stop comparing yourself and your skills and your experience to anyone else.?

Who cares what role or title they hold. Who cares what Big 4 firm they used to (or still do) work at. Who cares how much money they make or how many social followers they have.?

Be You. You're not an imposter. You have skills and stories and experiences and perspectives the world urgently needs.?

I'm already looking forward to seeing what you do.