Are we clear about our priorities?
Damian Goldvarg, Ph.D., MCC, CSP, ESIA, ACTC
Leadership Development Expert. Trains Leaders, Executive Coaches, Coach Supervisors, and Team Coaches. Key Note Speaker, Foresight Practitioner, and Author.
Our lives are determined by the decisions we make daily. Some factors are beyond our control, but others allow us to make decisions and live in alignment with our priorities.
When we need to make a decision, do we have clarity about what our priorities are??
What is really important?
What we value changes throughout our lives, and our current decisions may be different from those we would have made in the past.
When we talk about priorities, we mean the importance we attach to the factors we consider in making a decision. The key is to attain clarity to identify and align those factors when choosing an action that will have future consequences.
As an example, I invite you to reflect on something that happened to my client last week. He received an offer for a very interesting and challenging project in a distant and exotic country. At first, the offer seemed like a great opportunity to learn, to take vacation days in a place he didn't know, and to serve an employer who would add status to his resume.
However, my client was anxious, stressed, and felt insecure because the work he was being offered was outside his realm of expertise. In addition, it presented high complexity, had to be fulfilled under conditions of urgency, and was surrounded by political issues with stakeholders who could negatively influence the outcome. Another factor that worried him was that he would have to neglect all the commitments made to his current clients for one week, and he would have to look for colleagues to cover him in several of his responsibilities.
My client wanted to take the job. Rationally, he thought it was a good decision; but emotionally, he felt insecure, and his intuition advised him not to take it.
What would you do in a similar situation?
When, during the Coaching conversation, we explored each factor, the client recognized that the deal included working conditions that were not ideal. It could be very good for his resume, but it would include a very high level of stress. We explored how being a little afraid of the unknown could be positive, but if fear immobilizes or wears us down, the body communicates a message we need to hear.
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How do we make the decision whether or not to accept a job or project? How does the decision affect us and others? How do we decide what to focus on?
Our scale of values, which is important to us, could be a good guide.?Having clarity about how we identify what is most important and what matters least to us, both at the work and non-work level, allows us to make decisions with which we are comfortable.
Deciding involves gains and losses. We always have to let go of something. In addition,?we have to identify what our blind spots may be. In Coaching, we seek to identify these areas that are blind to us, to shed light on the dilemmas we face. That is why we ask ourselves: What could my blind spots be in this situation? It is important to ask for help to see them. It's something many times we can't do alone.
Faced with the challenge of deciding whether or not to take that job, the coaching session allowed my client to define what was happening to him in the face of the decision to accept a commitment that he found interesting but stressful. What the client was unaware of on a conscious level, what he revealed during the coaching session, was that in the past, he had had to accept all job offers to pay his expenses; but, at present, his reality was different and he could decide not to take a job even if it had interesting aspects.
In the past, he would have accepted the proposal that was being made to him without having the opportunity to evaluate how stressful or difficult it was because he needed the money; but now his reality was different and he could prioritize his current clients, and also his peace of mind. So he decided not to take the job.?
I invite you to consider how you make decisions in your life. What factors do you take into consideration??Are there any decisions you need to make and are you procrastinating?
Let us remember that there are always gains and losses in every decision; but to the extent that we are clear about our priorities, it is much easier to align them to what is important to us.??
Let me know your thought and experiences.
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