"We can intentionally affect the future..."

"We can intentionally affect the future by designing most powerful questions for getting there." - Marshall Smith, Author of the best selling book "What Got You Here Won't Get You There."

Our daughter gifted this book to me on September 17, 2017 as I was leaving for the airport to return to Mumbai from Seattle. She knows my obsession about asking right questions. I finished reading the book through two flights.

On the second leg I had an inquisitive fellow passenger sitting next to me. At point she asked me if was preparing for some examination or planning to write some thesis.

"No. Why do you ask?"

"Because you are reading it so diligently. Highlighting text, making marginal notes etc... "

"Oh! That is the way I read any book - otherwise I can't remember what I read..."

She was about ask me some more questions but I was already in the book. Plus I had my headsets on (with no music playing... good excuse for not answering nosy questions from fellow passengers).

The author introduces the idea of QT - Question Thinking.

The author shares an incident about how QT began. She calls it an important of discovery. When she presented her Ph.D dissertation to her advisor, she heard him say "Marilee, this is just not good enough."

She says instead of "tearfully wondering what was wrong with me", she took a deep breath, becoming calm and curious asked him "OK, how do I fix it?" She says that simple shift took her from feeling powerless to being confident enough to take constructive action. She shares a few more examples of how QT turned around what could have been ugly situation.

There are 12 chapters in the book - each one as powerful as the other.

1. Moment of Truth
2. A challenge Accepted
3. The Choice Map
4. We're All Recovering Judges
5. Kitchen Talk
6. Switching Questions
7. See with New Eyes, Hear with New Ears
8. Learner Teams and Judger Teams
9. When the Magic Works
10. Q-Storming(R) to the rescue
11. Amour! Amour
12. The Bottom Line

There is also an excellent Question Thinking Workbook.

I want to spend a few minutes on Q-Storming. Most of us spend hours together to brainstorm for solutions. In Q-Storming you brainstorm for questions. The idea is to capture as many different questions as possible. As fast as possible. Don't worry whether it is an intelligent question or a dumb one. We Q-Storm till we are exhausted. Take a break once we finish Q-Storming.

Then come back to see how to process the questions. One method that has worked for me is to group the questions as follows.

Group 1

Who, What, When, Where questions

Group 2

Why and How questions.

In Group 1 questions are intended to get specific answers.

In Group 2 questions help us to expand the scope of the question and delve deep into the issues.

I also learnt that asking questions and interrogating some are two different things. The tone and style in which you ask questions must lubricate the mind to bring out the answers. Not freeze them with fear.

How good are you at asking questions? Ask people around you - family, friends and colleagues for honest answers.

PS: Don't worry if you are not comfortable asking questions. Everything becomes comfortable with learning and consistent practice. Find yourself a buddy, a colleague, friend or spouse to practise asking questions.

PPS: If you are already working with a coach - observe how he or she is asking questions. Learn to probe - why they asked a particular question in a particular situation. Seasoned coaches will give you not just answers but share insights as well.