WE CAN CONQUER BULLIES

One of the challenges that face young people, especially teenagers is bullying. Many of them are depressed as a result of bullying. A whole lot of them can no longer live normal lives, or go to places they would have loved to go because of fear of being bullied.

It is so disturbing that some of the suicide cases recorded among teens can be traced to bullying. Unfortunately, many of the cases were not known until the victim had passed on. Imagine the pain and anguish parents face when they get to know that their precious son or daughter took his/her own life because of one devilish bully somewhere.

Bullying has been in existence for as long as one can remember. In every community or neighbourhood, there have always been people who are bullies. They exist among all classes of folks; the rich, the poor, educated, elites, illiterates, just name it. Bullies sometimes work as a team in which case a number of them will gather together against one victim.

The problem of bullying seems to have far reaching effects now because of the prevalence of the internet and social media that provide an easy means of getting more gullible and na?ve teens into the wicked nets of bullies.

There are different ways of bullying and being bullied. For example, verbal bullying, physical bullying, emotional bullying and cyber bullying. Bullies are usually grand masters in their nefarious act and they have areas of specialty, or the type of bullying they thrive in. The verbal bullies can use their tongue to drive their victim mad or just make the person’s life miserable. Physical bullies attack their victims physically to cause injury, or just to intimidate the person to submission. Cyber bullies on the hand use the internet and social media to harass their victims. They may choose the path of posting malicious articles about their victim, or sending erotic pictures or hacking the social media accounts of their victim.

Whatever method a bully chooses to use, the fact remains that no victim of bullying enjoys it. The effects of bullying range from minor irritations to very disturbing feelings or occurrences that are capable of causing serious harm.

How can one overcome bullies and their bullying?

·  void any behavior or lifestyle that can expose you to bullying. For instance, do not keep company with folks who have questionable character or are known to be brash in behavior.

·    Do not be timid; be smart, always on point, always know and assert your rights.

·   Check your appearance; always ensure that you do not appear in a way that may make you subject to ridicule or mockery, which may give room to verbal bullying.

If you are being bullied without any known cause or for reasons beyond your control do the following:

1.                 Do not keep it to yourself; talk to someone. Talk to your parents, a teacher, counselor or any other parent you can trust. Don’t assume that nothing will come out of it; learn to always speak out and be confident that you will be heard. Always know that the solution to a problem may be very close to you, only that you may not have discovered it. Pour out your heart to someone; say it exactly the way you feel. Speaking out on its own is highly therapeutic.

2.                 Develop an indifferent attitude towards the bully, no matter what they have to say. Know that whatever the bully is saying is not a true representation of who you are; it is only their distorted image or perception of you. Don’t allow them to define you. Totally ignore a bullying and their bullying.

3.                 Always know that a bully is an unhappy person who is looking for another person to share in their unhappiness. Bullies are usually people without good manners; they are rude, arrogant or simply silly and very annoying folks. They actually need help, so see a bully as someone that actually needs help but unfortunately has not realized his or her true need. If you see them from that angle, what they do or say will not get into your skin so much.

4.                 Avoid them like plague. As much as possible avoid having anything to do with a bully.

5.                 To overcome cyber bullies, develop healthy social media behavior. Do not make friends with strangers online, do not share sensitive materials online, do not share personal details like phone numbers and contact addresses with strangers, be sensible and focused whenever you are online, use appropriate filters on your devices and do not hesitate to block anyone that attempts to make you uncomfortable online.

6.                 Have a good social life so that you can build a network of credible friends whose association and positive influence can douse the influence of any type of bullying. Have more real life interactions and spend less time online with abstract human beings.

7.                 Have a good self-esteem; love yourself and be proud of yourself. A bully can only get you down if you do not know your self-worth or if you do not like yourself. It is then that you will believe the lies they may spread about you or be taken in by their taunting. Be confident and courageous at all times. When a bully notices that you are unruffled they usually retreat from you because, in reality they are actually cowards.

8.                 Never engage in physical fight with a bully; they are usually very brutish beings. They can be mean and deadly. Instead report to appropriate authorities. Don’t believe it if they threaten to deal with you if you report; they are only using such empty threats to cage you the more. Make a case against them and make sure you get your parents involved. Ensure that they are totally subdued; otherwise they will fire back later. Go to any length to make sure that a bully is caged before you allow the case to rest.

9.                 Do not try to pay a bully back in their own coin; otherwise you too will be categorized as one of them. Don’t try to get even when bullied because you may end up hurting yourself the more. The mindset of a bully has been programmed to do or say all the wrong things, so you simply cannot compete with them.

10.             Take good care of yourself and your health. Many cases of bullying actually stem out of jealousy; the bully is just jealous of you but cannot bring himself to admit it. Therefore, they look for ways to bring you down. Groom yourself to appear radiant and fulfilled at all times, thereby making the bully more uncomfortable and frustrated.

11.             Don’t ever get depressed because of bullying. Bullies are not worth your peace, joy and fulfillment. Keep yourself occupied doing what gives you joy; engage in noble activities with good people. When you are that busy you will not have the time and attention to give to a bully.

12.             Avoid solitary confinement at all times, but most especially when you are being bullied.

13.             Talk to yourself and affirm yourself. Tell yourself the opposite of all the negative things a bully has said about you. Create mental images of yourself in places or situations that are opposite to where the bully has placed you. Let your perceptions prevail in your mind, and totally cancel the criticisms of the bully.

14.             If you feel safe and confident that the bully cannot harm you, try to talk sense into the fellow. Many bullies bully others because of lack of understanding or wrong perception of what interpersonal relationships should be. Some were bullied at a point in their lives, and are ignorantly trying to make others experience the same pains they had felt.

15.             Do not live in constant fear of being bullied. Whatever you are afraid of will always have a way of overcoming you. Look that fear in the face and address it rudely; replace it with courage to do all things that you have read in this piece and I am pretty sure bullies will run away from you.

Shalom!