We can all do better in striving to make the world a better place.

I recently resigned from a job I loved. I loved the people I worked with on a daily basis and I loved the purpose and mission of the company I was charged with leading. There were so many incredible things I loved about my job. Ultimately though, I decided to leave because I was starting to turn in to a person that I constantly chastise. Had I stayed, I would have been staying because I was well compensated....but I would have been a hypocrite. It's easy to give others advice but sometimes hard to live by your own advice.

The paragraph above may not make sense to you. If you loved your job, the people you worked with daily and the purpose and mission of the organization....why leave? Well, there are things each of us can control and there are things out of our control. When the things out of your control lead to you slowly becoming negative and cynical, it's time to go do something else. Negativity, gossip, becoming an "eeyore" in life, and sacrificing what you believe in is a slippery slope. Going through this gut wrenching decision was actually pretty easy when I thought of it in this context.

I would challenge each of you to ask yourself the same questions I just asked myself in four areas. People generally always think they are doing OK in these areas and that other people are the problem. It's easier to point fingers at others as the problem instead of looking in the mirror. Be honest with yourself. The one person I haven't figured out how to fool in my life is me.

1. Courage- It takes courage to disagree with others. It's so much easier to talk behind someone's back rather than have respectful, honest dialogue and share your point of view. My father always told me the definition of maturity is how well we disagree with others. Just look around, we must have a lot of immaturity going on. People that gossip don't think they gossip. They typically ask other people questions in a manner where people will agree with them and confirm that their point of view is correct, which justifies that someone else is the problem. It's hard to sit down with the person you disagree with or think is doing something wrong and be honest, but it's so much easier to find a third party and get them to agree with you that another person is to blame for your troubles. Like the lion in the Wizard of Oz who wanted the gift of courage, it's inside everyone but you have to take that first step and know that it's already inside you if you just use it.
2. Be kind- Since the beginning of time, our world has had wars, hatred, genocide and many other atrocities. Why is it so hard for people to be kind? We find it pretty easy to be kind to people who share our beliefs or confirm our way of thinking (see courage above), but if people don't agree with our opinions or belief, we waste a lot of time trying to take them down or disparage their reputation. Why do we do this? I love being around people who never say a negative word about anyone and always look at life and each day as a blessing. Find these people and surround yourself with them. Your perspective will change quickly and your happiness as well.
3. Make everyone around you better- Every minute of every day, we are either making the people around us better or we are bringing them down. Which are you doing? Are you looking for confirmation that Jill in Accounting really is a terrible person so you ask everyone around you if they agree with your assessment as you secretly try to taint another person's reputation, or are you constantly bragging on others and helping them see the positive in every situation? We all have people around us who lack confidence and need to have someone lift them up and believe in them. It's easy to be positive when everything is going well. The true test is when adversity happens, which it ultimately will. Do you count your blessings and influence people in a positive manner when times are tough, or do you become "eeyore" and start down the "woe is me" path? The victim mentality is prevalent in our society and is a huge problem. It's easy to be the victim but hard to fight your way through and remain a positive influence on others.
4. Put other people first- When you put others first and think of their happiness more than your own, you will find that you become happier. We live in a "me" culture but I bet each of you can name at least one person you know who always puts others first. You may think they are weird or started drinking at breakfast because who really can put other people's problems or concerns before your own? Who does that? Well, many people do this and while they are swimming upstream in today's culture, they are impacting the world one person at a time. What if your entire group of friends started doing this? You would be amazed at the difference you could make in the world.

All of the traits above are pretty straightforward. I doubt any of you said, "Wow, I never thought of that." However, they are extremely difficult to apply in your life on a daily basis. Knowledge is useless without application. Be grateful for what you do have instead of focusing on what you don't, be kind to others regardless of whether they look, think or act the same as you, have the courage to say things about people that you would only say to their face, focus on being a person who makes everyone around them better, and put others first. Lastly, when you are in a position where you see yourself straying from these ideals and becoming someone you don't want to become, go do something else.