We broke the workplace, let's fix it

The media is exploding with sexual misconduct and terminations of powerful men. Listening to victim's stories has been disturbing. Reading the opinions of observers who think the allegations and resulting actions are "overblown" is unpleasant. But, is all this avoidable?

Rather than debate whether harassment is an issue or if victims overreact, I keep thinking about why this even happens. 

One of the most common conclusions is that powerful people use their authority to take advantage of other people and behave badly, thinking they will not be caught or that no one will tell. It's a sad reality in today's workplace.

While the reports we've seen are clearly a misuse of power, I believe there is more to the story. As a society, we've done something wrong. We've raised adults to believe that they can fake their way through life behaving differently in different situations. It is not very likely that any of the powerful men (or women) who have been taken down in scandals behaved the same way at work, home, and in the community. Rather, they had the common sense to adapt their behaviors and pretend to know right from wrong when their peers or superiors were present. They were able to control their comments and actions when their children were with them. They hid their abusive, inappropriate behavior for moments when they could intimidate people with less power into meeting their demands. It's a big problem. 

The implications are wide and deep, it's not just Entertainers or Business Leaders. This problem exists over and over when people achieve power, from Pastors, to Educators, even Elected Officials.

The solution for this epidemic needs to be much bigger than hiring new HR people and forcing everyone to attend Harassment Awareness Training in the workplace.  

We need to teach teens and young adults what it means to have and exercise Emotional Intelligence.

If high schools and colleges could accomplish this, we might graduate emerging leaders who:

• choose not to bully other kids in school and defend those who are mistreated
• do not participate in hazing rituals when they have power over pledges
• reverse the trend of sexual violence on college campuses
• embrace diversity in their community and stand up against discrimination
• achieve positions of power in the workplace without taking advantage of others

My mind solves problems using positive psychology and emotional intelligence principles. This is not the first time I've thrown self-awareness into an article, though the connection to sexual misconduct is new.  The people who did what they did knew their actions were wrong and harmful, which is why they kept it a secret, threatened people into silence, and were humiliated once the news was out. If these offenders had a deeper understanding of Emotional Intelligence (specifically: Self-Awareness and Self-Management) maybe they might have examined their thoughts early and taken control of their behavior. They might have recognized the pain they could cause to others before taking action (rather once the headlines are out).

Clearly the educational practices used 30+ years ago to raise today's "leaders" were ineffective. If we start teaching Emotional Intelligence to today's youth, maybe they will be equipped to improve the workplace (and the World).