We All Value Our Independence and The Right to Make Our Own Decisions

Knowing When to STEP IN to Help

We are all getting older, and with aging comes challenges.

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Thoughts and fears as shared by seniors and people with special needs:

? -? “Being put in a nursing home.”

? -? “Running out of money.”

? -? “Being a burden to my family.”

? -? “Talking about having to move and giving up my home and all my memories.”

? -? “Knowing I need help, but not being sure what to do.”

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Thoughts and fears as shared by family and loved ones:

? -? "My dad needs an advocate to help him while he's in the hospital."

? -? "I'm not sure that my mother is still safe to be living alone in her house.? I need help evaluating our options."

? -? ?"We need help finding a qualified nanny to work with our 16 year old son who has Autism."

? -? "I just received a call saying that my mother is in the hospital after being in a serious car accident. This came as a shock. Has she done anything to protect herself or her assets ... a medical directive, a trust, power of attorney, or a will. What can I do?"

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? -? "My partner has been diagnosed with Parkinson’s Disease and is seeing multiple doctors and taking a lot of medication.? I need help understanding and coordinating all of this."

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All too often, a senior or person with special needs wants to retain their independence, and doesn't want to become a burden on their loved ones. In order to maintain their independence, this person may attempt to hide the fact that they are struggling, and are in need of assistance.

One way that you may learn of a problem, is when you receive a phone call in the middle of the night. When you answer the phone you hear "Your mother is in the emergency room, she's fallen and broken her hip." As the closest living relative you receive the call, and within minutes you are being faced new responsibilities as your mother's caregiver.

Not all problems occur as a crisis, but instead evolve in a gradual series of warning signs spanning weeks, months, or years. You may notice that senior or person with special needs is having difficulty cleaning the house, cooking meals, paying bills, or that you are finding yourself speaking louder so that you can be understood.

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A recurrent theme expressed, is the fear of broaching the subject of whether or not, a person is capable of caring for themselves. In addition, once it is clear that the person is in need of assistance, there is often confusion as to what is the best way to proceed. This is a delicate balancing act, ensuring the person’s health and safety, while maintaining their independence and dignity.

One of the most difficult things for a family member or loved one is deciding when and how to step in to help. Since most people greatly value their independence, seniors and people with special needs may resent relatives and loved ones stepping in to help them - even when they have the best of intentions. And often it’s unclear exactly when is the right time to step in, since the decline in a person’s abilities can be gradual and almost imperceptible.

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Here is a sampling of some questions that may help you evaluate if there is a potential problem, but this list is only meant to serve as a guide. If a problem is suspected, the person needs to be seen by a professional who can conduct a complete medical evaluation and a geriatric assessment, to help determine the best way to proceed.

?1.? Is the person experiencing any significant vision, hearing, or memory loss?

?2.? Is the person experiencing any anxiety, depression, or phobias?

?3.? Is the person oriented to time, place, and person?

?4.? Is the person able to read, write, and use the telephone without difficulty?

?5.? Is the person able to use public transportation, or arrange to take a cab?

?6.? Is the person able to perform routine housekeeping tasks (e.g. laundry, cooking, cleaning)

?7.? Is the person able to handle maintenance needs?

?8.? Is the person able to prepare meals and eat regularly?

?9.? Is the person able to bath independently?

?10.? Is the person able to dress appropriately?

?11.? Is the person able to manage their own finances?

?12.? Is the person able to handle their own banking and financial needs?

?13.? Is the person able to write checks & balance their checkbook?

?14.? Is the person able to exercise good judgment, and make sound decisions?

?15.? Is the person able to manage their own medications?

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COMMUNICATION IS KEY

It’s only natural that when we become scared or concerned about a senior or person with special needs, our first impulse is to express our concerns, and immediately look to "fix" the problem. Unfortunately this can often make the situation worse.

Unless you are faced with an emergency that threatens the person's safety or well-being, it’s wise to take some time to gather information and properly assess the situation, prior to taking any action.

As I shared earlier, you are now faced with a delicate balancing act, ensuring a person's health and safety, while maintaining their independence and dignity. Effective communication is key to ensuring that the person and their loved ones can talk openly about their feelings, needs, and desires moving forward.

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Once the senior or person with special needs has shared what they would like to see happen, and you have gathered information about available resources, you can now work together on creating a realistic plan of action. It is crucial to allow the person a sense of influence and control regarding decisions affecting their future.

If the history of your relationship with this person, has been a difficult one, you may want to seek assistance from a professional (e.g. certified case manager, doctor, or therapist) in order to map out a strategy for moving forward. Keep in mind that in order for there to be success moving forward, you will need cooperation and by in from the the senior or person with special needs; as well as other family members, significant others, and healthcare providers

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PLAN AHEAD

When dealing with a person’s current and evolving needs, taking a pro-active approach to planning is very important. Now is the time to begin planning for the future. The sooner you begin a dialogue with the senior or person with special needs about their future, the more time you will have to listen to their wants and needs, as well as to take concrete steps to complete legal documents (e.g. medical directives), and research viable resources (e.g. home health agencies, assisted living facilities.)

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REMEMBER THAT HELP IS JUST A PHONE CALL AWAY!?????????

For More Information

Visit us at https://caregiverresourcecenter.com

Or call Linda Ziac at 203-861-9833

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Photo from Microsoft

The information in this article is provided as an information resource only, and is not to be used or relied on for any diagnostic or treatment purposes. This information is not intended to be patient education, does not create any patient provider relationship, and should not be used as a substitute for professional diagnosis and treatment.

Please consult your health care provider for an appointment, before making any healthcare decisions or for guidance about a specific medical condition.

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Linda Ziac is a CT Licensed and Nationally Certified professional, with over 48 years of experience in the health and mental health field. In 1990, Linda Ziac had a vision of creating a place where seniors, people with special needs, and their loved ones could turn for support, find answers to their questions, and engage trained professionals to help them navigate the often confusing and overwhelming healthcare maze. Together, Linda works with the client, family, and healthcare staff to help assess and implement ways to allow for the client's greatest degree of health, safety, independence, and quality of life.

"Serving Connecticut for Over 33 Years"

https://caregiverresourcecenter.com