We all know what to do but what is holding us back, why we are not doing what we know how to do with our logic?

We all know what to do but what is holding us back, why we are not doing what we know how to do with our logic?

It all comes down to our beliefs and our values. All beliefs are subconscious states of being. Because our believes are based on feelings and never on logic this is why you consciously using logic know what to do but you never do it, you avoid it, that’s unpleasant feelings that is holding you back to do what you want to do with your logic! Therefore, if you don’t know how to master your emotional intelligence you can’t have full access to your intellect.

Let’s have a look at your brain

Your Cortical region of your brain which is more advanced higher level of brain function your prefrontal cortex. This part of your brain is for Thrival sometimes we call it “Slow thinking brain”

You have subcortical region of your brain part of subcortical region is fast, reactive brain called Amygdala. The function of this brain is primitive needed in our life to protect us from danger like fire, tsunami any physical danger. The problem is in today’s modern world there is not much physical danger around us every day, but majority of people run on this primitive brain.

This happens when you have unbalanced perception when you see only downsides or only upsides, you see only advantages or only disadvantages, so you tend to react immediately based on a subconscious decision to avoid one thing and seek another looking for immediate gratification. In other words, you behave impulsively in your pursuit of immediate gratification.

There are non-one-sided experiences, events or individuals.

At times, you may be blinded by what you perceive to be a great reward, only later discover risks and downsides. Other times, you may not see the opportunities and benefits is the so-called risks!

Growth mindset is about embracing both risks and opportunities, growth mindset is not about reducing stressors but moving towards your zone of genius, with balanced perceptions taking one step at the time, learning from mistakes, and evolving with each step, learning how to love the journey of growing.

So, growth mindset has nothing to do with positive thinking like majority of people think. Growth mindset is about stepping into unknown territory, taking risks, and seeing both sides with the strong belief that everything is available to you. Because the truth is everything you need you already have you are just not aware of it, and you perceive that you are missing something.

If you have and expectation of both sides, are prepared for both sides, and get both sides, you tend to love both sides and grow!

And here it comes down to emotional intelligence and emotional strength. Emotional strength is not about suppressing emotions and avoiding them trying to pretend you are strong and everything is going to be fine.

Emotional intelligence is to be aware of emotions you experience in your body, accept them look for the information they carry so that would be one side of the situation and now you can choose how you want to experience the other side of the situation. This is balanced perception you bring both sides to your conscious awareness and now you have a choice what decision to make!

A lot of people refer to decision such as their “Gut feeling” which the misunderstand with “Intuition” Your “Gut Feeling” is result of Amygdala your primitive brain, gut impulses running you. Your intuition is coming from your heart, your heart communication with your brain in many different ways and your heart is sending messages to your Executive brain.

Your cortical executive center sends nerve fibers down into the subcortical amygdala to calm down your subconscious impulses and instincts. So, ?when you make decision based on your intuition you have balanced perceptions they are objective, when you make decision based on your “Gut feeling” you only see one side trying to avoid something and seek immediate gratification.

Working with clients I call Global Pandemic these days not feeling Enough

Not loved Enough

Not significant Enough

Not good Enough

Not Smart Enough

Not Slim Enough

Not attractive Enough

When you feel emotional emptiness, you usually try to fill the emptiness with something outside of you thinking like buying bigger house will give me more security or space, buying a new bigger car will make me feel good, getting this degree is going to make me feel significant enough and list goes on.

When you don’t feel Enough you always need more of something, your perception is unbalanced you only see one side avoiding emptiness you are feeling and looking for immediate gratification getting yourself into more recurring problems!!!

It can be very transformative to look at where you may feel you are not Enough and change the thoughts your internal dialog that you formulated?a small child with so little life experience!

So many people that are perceiving they are in lack don’t feel WORTHY!!!

Working with Leaders, CEO’s, Director I have found that the biggest lack they experience is time. There is not enough time I want to go a little bit dipper here.

When you are in lack and separation time gets really crazy, because you perceive lack you want everything to happen quickly taking “Massive Action”. Life is about experiencing, loving your journey of growth, creating space for yourself and your family and taking one step at the time.

If you perceive you are in lack of time you need to start with your values. So many people I work with understand values with their logic, but they don’t live by their values and as a result they are unable to set boundaries.

?So many Leaders, CEO’S?doing jobs that their team members should be doing because they don’t know how to connect to their values and set boundaries, now their employees (their staff) are not taking responsibility because there is going to be emotion, subconscious belief they don’t want to feel so they procrastinate and don’t do it and as a result run out of time, or doing something in non-efficient?way!

Here is example this happens very often I tell my employee to call certain person and then I ask did you call them, and employee is saying “No but I have emailed them”

What happens here

1.?Instead of giving 5 min phone call they write long email that probably takes them 10-15 min making sure it is very professional and perfect as per company standards. Now imagine they do it with many clients and then they run out of time and don’t do other things that they should be doing.

2.?Employee knows that it would be much more productive to give a call rather than writing long email but there is an emotion they are avoiding more likely they don’t want to be rejected over the phone, or they think “What others are going to think of me when I’m going to talk”, or they may think what “If I’m not going to know how to answer” , so they avoid it and rather write an email because they perceive it is easier, not seeing the other side.

This is just one short example I experience a lot working with leaders. So, see it is never about time, but it is about understanding your values and live by your values, understanding the power of your mind and brain.

Once you understand how to master your emotions, you understand the power of your mind and brain you would be able to understand the thinking process of your employees, your spouse, your children. There is no magic.

When you live congruently with your highest values, you also become more authentic. And great leaders are those who have great level of awareness!!

So, either you fill your day with low priority distraction, or you fill your day with high priority action. Whenever you do something that is high on your list of values and high in priority, the blood, glucose and oxygen goes into the forebrain, the executive center, and not the subcortical amygdala and lower hindbrain.

Therefore, mastering your emotional intelligence and living by priority or living in congruence with your highest values means that you are more likely to make an objective decisions and less likely to emotionally or subconsciously react.

You would easily set boundaries that are congruent with your highest values, you will delegate what is not congruent with your highest values and you would be Inspired driven from the inside driven by growth and not by NEED. As a result, your energy levels will go up and you will have enough time to do everything you WANT!!!

Everything has Domino Effect!!! And it starts with YOU, YOUR level of awareness and understanding!!! You don’t need to change the others (and you can’t anyway!!!)?all you need to do is change yourself , by being present and develop great level of awareness of your emotions and thoughts, of your highest values in life.

If you want to be heard and listened to ?, if you want to know how to move from “Fight or Flight” stress responses how to be aware of them, how to identify them and have tools to balance your perception ,if you want to create more time and space for yourself and your family , if you want to understand more your staff members , your spouse , your bosses book FREE call with me. I can guarantee you will walk with more clarity and certainty you have nothing to lose it is FREE 40-50min call ??

https://calendly.com/julieinfiniteintelligence/personalized-results-meeting