We are all here to do the right thing. Yes, indeed.

"Why am I occasionally irritated by some people at work?"

This has been a lingering question to "myself" throughout my professional career, or in other words, a more serious social life of the past two decades. (It is not a question of 'Why do some people irritate me occasionally at work?', a subtle, yet important difference.) Although I seriously hoped to build stronger teamwork and have positive, constructive interactions in any relation, I have to admit somehow there were interactions or relations that I felt such goal was simply beyond my capability. Some people seemed to act irresponsibly, some talked in a very selfish manner, and some simply acted in annoying way even to an extent that I was confused whose fault it was. Not all situations can be described clearly, even to myself, yet I simply saw there were such situations here and there, continuously.

In dealing with such situation, to be honest with you, I have mostly exercised some acting skills which I believe most people acquire through their professional career, as if nothing has bothered me. Outwardly, I acted as if I have the strong capability to remain focused on a subject matter, regardless of a fish under the table. In some occasion, I simply avoided facing those people if it doesn't seem awkward. I chose the option in some cases as I could not trust my ability to interact with them under certain circumstances.

Such solutions turned out to be not working, at least for me.

First, I have found my effectiveness was continuously influenced when I have used only a band-aid, without having a proper mindset to heal it. Acting or avoiding were not certainly a long-term solution.

Second, I have consistently observed such tension simply hampered my ability to be a good listener, causing me to prescribe before diagnose, whether it was of my lack of maturity or of those persons' annoying approach. As I fully understand the importance and challenge of listening sincerely, such impaired mindset of mine put my starting point of constructive meetings on a wrong place, far off.

While I was struggling to admit my immature aspect, letting alone limited solutions I have on my hand, I got a very effective advice from someone I respect. He said to me, "Hanjun, just remember we are here to do the right thing."

This changed my perspective in looking at the same people, who I had thought occasionally annoyed me. When I say to myself, "Yes, they are simply coming with different perspective or problem-solving approach that I don't have. Whether I like or not, he/she is another determined person to do the right thing at his/her best.", I experienced I could be a better listener. Since "we all" are moving toward the same goal, doing the right thing, I could do less of shutting my minds or cutting the other's sentence, when I heard their "seemingly" strange ideas or annoying comments or behaviors.

The adviser finished his advice with a good supplement. "If you can, simply add another question, 'What are we trying to accomplish here?', and this will greatly help we are not sidetracked to a minor issue."

My father always told me a leader's role is to create synergy of a team, which is clearly assessed whether the total sum of team's energy is same or bigger or smaller of arithmetical sum of team members' capability. If we can constantly maintain the mindset to plus than minus with such important perspective around us, I think we can be good listeners to others and to create a strong team.

Yes, we are all here to do the right thing. You and I, included.