We all have a David within us...
Marc Singer Coaching
Ex-Prisoner Turned Life Transformer | Helping You Build Resilience + Confidence + Lasting Life Balance
I went to the gym earlier today and bumped into David, who I met when I was in prison.
David comes from Dublin in Ireland and has had, by anyone’s standards, a pretty difficult life!
In and out of care and jail since he was a kid. Addiction problems and severe anger and anxiety issues which have led him to clash with authority, and others, all his life.
When I met David I was working as a classroom assistant in the education department at the Mount prison. Working with a wonderful teacher called Wendy Sherlock, for two years I helped to teach Critical Reasoning Skills to fellow inmates.
When David joined the class it was against his will. He’d basically been told he had to attend as part of his sentence planning and was extremely resistant to being there.
He refused to speak to anyone and would kick off at a moment’s notice. He trusted no one and was on the verge of fighting someone constantly. With a broken nose and scars all over his face it was clear he’d seen his fair share of trouble.
At first, after two or three disruptive classes, Wendy told me she was going to have to remove him as his behaviour was too distracting to the other students.
It was then I asked her to let me have a go with him.
He would sit at a desk with his head on the table, ignoring everyone or shouting out stuff to deliberately disrupt. His intention, it seemed, was to indeed be removed from the class.
I realised that in order to help him, first I would have to get his trust. Something he had for no one!
So I tried a unique approach. I went up to him as he sat there with his head in his hands and whispered in his ear something totally absurd. I said, ‘what would you do if a Sherman tank suddenly came bursting through that wall and knocked you flying?’…
David looked at me in astonishment. And then burst out laughing!
It broke the ice…
After that I started to shadow him. It became apparent he struggled to read and write, so I helped him with that. And also made a point of including him in class discussions in order to make sure he felt heard.
Gradually he started to open up more and dropped the angry man act.
However David still had big struggles. He was using heroin and spice quite heavily in prison and as long as he was tied to his addiction, struggled to really move forward.
Then a couple of years ago, about five years after I had last seen David, I was coming out of a car park near to my local gym, when I saw David on the street, begging. He had been released from prison and was now homeless.
We chatted and I gave him a few quid. But after that I didn’t see him again for a long while.
It turns out he went back to jail again for something drug related. However this time the penny dropped…
Today I met my friend from jail and not only was he a free man, but he is a year clean of all drugs and alcohol. And has just started work, at my gym, as a training instructor!
What an amazing turnaround…
What it goes to show is that anyone can create a life they truly want with the right mental attitude, belief and work.
David has done an astonishing amount of self improvement within himself. Working on his beliefs and attitudes. His addiction problems and learning to finally forgive and fully accept himself, and others.
And I’m proud to have played a very small part in his journey.
If you’re thinking your life is tough and there’s no way you can ever be happy within yourself… David’s story shows you otherwise.
Do the work, and everything WILL change!
With my own memoir, which tells the story of how I overcame being incarcerated in prison and extreme loss, due out later this year, I would like to invite you to subscribe to my weekly mailing list.
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