We All Choose 1 of 2 Things Which Determines Our Destiny. A Simple, Powerful Technique for Success.

How to Change - How to Grow. Discipline and Success

Discipline is not a dirty word. This article (below) and video give you a simple, powerful "how to change" tool that will change your life.

We all choose 1 of 2 things that determines our entire destiny. That sounds like an overstatement, I know. But this choice is ultimate and absolute. This choice determines, in large part, our life experience in the here and now. It almost absolutely determines our ultimate life achievements and success, as well as our legacy, what we leave behind once we are gone.

Following our life purpose or greatest life passion might, on the surface, sound like it would be a more pleasurable choice to make in this moment. In fact, it would seem to be the obvious, perhaps only, choice.

But it's not. Because following our greatest purpose and passion most often means doing work right now, this moment. Work that might inherently seem tediously boring or even painful.

Famous Study Provides Proof of at Least 1 Thing Life Success Requires

There was a famous, 40 year study, begun in the 1960s by two Stanford University researchers. The study, appropriately enough, is now referred to as the Marshmallow Study.

In the study, the researchers brought pre-school aged kids, one at a time, into a room. The kids were aged 3 years 6 months to 5 years 8 months old, with the median age being 4 years 6 months.

In the room, a research associate spoke briefly with the child in the room. The researcher offered the child a treat of their choice, from a marshmallow, a cookie or a pretzel then they placed the treat on the table in front of the child.

The researcher the told the child that they had to leave the room for 15 minutes and that they could have an additional treat if they could wait 15 minutes until the researcher returned before the child ate the treat.

More than 600 kids took part in the experiment. A minority of them ate the marshmallow immediately. Of those who attempted to delay, one third deferred gratification long enough to get the second marshmallow.[1] Age was a major determinant of deferred gratification.

Creatures of Habit - How We Believed and Behaved at Age 5 Follows Us Through Life

First, a qualifier on this sub-title. We are all limited by our beliefs, perspectives and habitual behaviors. And most people's mindsets and basic life strategies at age five seem to stay with them. But this is, in large part, because most people never do the deep self-reflection and self improvement required to change our unconscious beliefs and behaviors. So, we aren't necessarily doomed to our inherent limitations.

Okay... back to the study...

What makes the Marshmallow Study so famous, is that the researchers followed up the study subjects roughly every ten years for the subsequent forty years. What they found was that those subjects who, at age four to five, delayed gratification in the original study were overwhelmingly more successful in most measures of life success.

Other studies have echoed this phenomenon.

Acting Now Based On Long-Term Purpose and Vision, Not Short-Term Reward

It appears that the ability to delay gratification; the ability to hold off on taking immediate pleasure for the promise or probability of greater future pleasure, is one of the largest known predictors of life success.

Which brings us to today’s quote, which comes from Jim Rohn:

"We all must suffer one of two things: The Pain of discipline, or the agony of regret."

But it can be difficult to delay gratification, right?

Especially today, what with all of the food, treats and electronic toys at our disposal from which to get the immediate gratification of distraction.

But isn’t that often what it is? Distraction? Most often, what we seek immediate pleasure in really brings little to no pleasure. It simply brings distraction. An avoidance of discipline. A denial of what is and will become as a result of our lack of discipline.

Often the pain of discipline feels overwhelming.

Great Technique for Personal Change - Delaying Gratification for Ultimate Success

A great way to overcome succumbing to the lie of immediate gratification and distraction is to create a small, simple, easily accomplished action step that will move you in the right direction. And, here's the key to this technique: tie the new action step(s) to something you already always must do each day.

For example, let’s say I had a problem being disciplined in producing the scripts and videos that this blog/vlog is based on. Let’s say I habitually gave in to the drug of distraction that we call television. Or, suppose I choose a task that isn’t a waste of time. One that is, in fact productive. But it's a task that has a lower importance and priority than producing these articles and videos has for me in my life purpose and mission.

Let’s say I dread the prospect of having to sit at my computer and write an article. It’s going to take me an hour to half a day. After which I must shoot a video, edit the video and post it on YouTube. All of this takes a half a day to a full day. And let’s say some, much or even all of this process is one I don’t find emotionally rewarding. It’s something I naturally resist, delay and avoid.

Human nature is to look at the whole, half-day plus process before you and feel the pain and frustration of those 4 or 5 hours. Then it’s easy to delay, avoid or justify other productive work that isn’t a priority, but makes us feel disciplined, productive and positive because, after all, I’m not wasting time.

We Can Be Productive, Yet Wasting Time

Because our life unfolds from our habitual actions beliefs, stories, behaviors and actions.

And in this case, I am choosing beliefs and stories that compel me to behavior and action that, while productive, is not THE MOST PRODUCTIVE thing I could be doing right now.

Your Life Purpose. Your Passion. Your Main Thing

Remember, OUR MAIN THING IS TO KEEP OUR MAIN THING THE MAIN THING.

And our life, both our journey… that is, how we experience life in the present; in the here and now… as well as our destination, or destinations… that is, the results we actually manifest in life, regardless of how we choose to perceive our lives… our life is the compounding total of our habitual behaviors and actions we take each day.

And if you and I choose to not habitually make our main thing the main thing… then indeed, we are choosing to experience the agony of regret, rather than choosing the pain of discipline.

...Back to the Productivity and Success Technique

So… again, using myself as an example, if, instead of creating the dynamic where I perceive and feel this half-day, painful writing task in front of me… instead, if I create a first step that is quickly, easily and painlessly accomplished and that is tied to something else I already habitually do each day, then I can gently segue myself into the task and minimize the pain of discipline.

Here's How it Goes

For example, let’s take the first step of sitting at my computer and writing one of these articles based on an inspirational quote. If I create the first step of sitting to my computer and looking through quotes to find one that inspires me that day, then giving myself the first step of writing one short paragraph opening… the pain of this discipline is minimal and easily accomplished. And it sets me in the mindset, the groove, of creative thinking and writing.

What’s more, if I attach this discipline, the discipline of the first step of finding a motivational quote that inspires me, if I connect that with another, already established daily routine, such as showering, shaving, dressing and getting coffee, then, once I've habituated it through focused repetition, soon it’s not a conscious choice. It’s just one more of the unconscious rituals I perform each day.

Powerful Success Technique in a Nutshell

So, in a nutshell…

1. Deconstruct your larger task into one, simple, quickly accomplished first step. Something that can be accomplished in less than a few minutes.
2. Attach the new, productive action step, as an automatic next step into one of your already established life routines that you habitually perform.
3. To embed the new step as unconscious habit, create visual and other reminders that you must make the conscious effort to do this new step each and every time you complete your established routine. So through this repetition, you actually embed into your subconscious brain this new step into your already established routine(s).

Well… showering, brushing and dressing is anyway…

So there you go… You have created a new ritual. A new habitual action step that will result in your personal growth and success.

Socrates said excellence is not an act, it’s a habit.

We must create new habits of excellence. Habits of achieving our passion and purpose through productive daily rituals.

Please leave your positive and productive comments below.

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Cheers friends.