Do You Make Time to “Treat” Yourself? You Should.

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In building a happy life, it’s important to give ourselves treats.

Treats help us to feel energized, restored, and light-hearted. It may sound selfish and self-indulgent to give ourselves treats, but without them, we can start to feel resentful, depleted, and irritable. So giving ourselves a healthy treat can help us behave ourselves better.

People differ widely in what they consider a treat. My husband loves doing a crossword puzzle, I re-watch an episode of The Office, and I've heard from a surprising number of people who insist that ironing is their treat.

Sometimes, however, we've identified a treat that could make us happier, but we just don't make time for that treat.

Rollerblading, eating outside, a hot bath...all great treats, for the right person, but they take some time and energy.

In my case, one of my favorite treats is reading children’s and young-adult literature. Right now, my stack includes Katherine Rundell's Impossible Creatures, Sabaa Tahir's All My Rage , and Virginia Hamilton's Zeely .

Nevertheless, I find myself saving these books for a “treat,” and instead, reading for work. (Really, this is also a treat, because I love my subject so much, but it’s not the same level of treat). I remind myself: Read for fun! Make time for the treat! That’s what makes me happy.

I also remind myself of my personal personal commandment to "Spend out." Don’t “save” those books, but enjoy them now, make time for them.

If you face a similar challenge, you might...

• put time on your calendar (The Strategy of Scheduling )
• make a plan with someone else who will be disappointed if you don't show up (The Strategy of Accountability )
• give yourself a concrete aim for enjoying a treat, such as "I'll read 24 novels in 2024," "I'll go on one new hike a month," "I'll ride my bike from 7-9:00 a.m. every Sunday morning" (The Strategy of Clarity )

But sometimes, we don't even know what we'd enjoy as a treat.

If that's a challenge for you, consider...

• What was a treat for you when you were a child? I still get a thrill from buying a book, because as a child, we almost always used the library
• What small element elevates an experience for you? Fresh flowers on the table in a restaurant, frothed milk in your coffee, the perfect pen
• What do you find particularly enjoyable when you stay at a hotel or visit a friend? I'm always cold, and when I told my sister how much I loved a hotel's heated bathroom floors, she suggested that I put a space heater in my bathroom. It's such a treat to step out of the shower into warm air

I asked my readers for their ideas of "everyday luxuries" and was astonished by the range and inventiveness of these treats. A white-noise machine at bedtime, an electric kettle, fresh homemade bread (and the time to make it)—read the full list for more ideas.

When we don’t get any treats, we begin to feel burned-out, depleted, and resentful.

We start to feel deprived, which makes it harder to stick to our good habits. For that reason, it’s helpful to identify healthy treats and everyday luxuries to give ourselves.

They also make great gift ideas—especially if you’re buying a present for an under-buyer ?who, if they’re like me, often resists buying things, especially items with very specific purposes. I would never buy myself a lotion warmer, so my sister gave me one as a gift.

Making time for small treats can have a big influence on our daily happiness.

Treats give us the boost we need to tackle those important tasks that may not make us happy in the moment, and help us keep up momentum on long-term aims.

If you'd like to set aside time for your short- and long-term aims, want to develop the self-knowledge to identify what makes you happier (including little treats), and benefit from accountability, consider enrolling in my new online course for 2024—The Happiness Project: Revisited . This unique collaborative experience offers the chance to revisit the key monthly themes from my book The Happiness Project with new insights and evidence-based tips tailored to this moment.

Consider enrolling yourself or offering it as a gift to the people on your list. Just like your favorite treat, doing your own happiness project means you'll have loads of enjoyable things to anticipate in 2024. Click here to learn more about the course and enroll today .

The course opens on January 2, 2023.

Gretchen?Rubin is one of today’s most influential and thought-provoking observers of happiness and human nature.?She’s the author of many New York Times bestselling books, such as?The Happiness Project , The Four Tendencies , and?Life in Five Senses. Listen to her popular podcast, Happier with Gretchen Rubin , follow her @gretchenrubin on Instagram, and read her thoughts at gretchenrubin.com .