Is the way we think about money and fundraising all wrong?

Without a doubt, he was the biggest cockwomble I’ve personally known.

Rude. Condescending. Narcissistic. He's an impossible bully. Both my daughters think he is a sociopath. He’s treated his wives terribly. His own business partner and associates can’t stand him.

No, it’s not who you’re thinking of. I’m talking about my former brother-in-law.

My ex-husband’s older brother is a successful lawyer in California. At one point, he lived down the street from Will and Jada. His sons played with Will Smith's son when they were kids.?

Having money meant that he always got a pass on his awful behavior. Even within his own family.

That’s how our society treats the wealthy among us. With kid gloves, regardless of their behavior or motives.

We do it in the nonprofit sector too. Look at the attention we lavish on wealthy donors who want to inform those of us who work in the sector all about what’s wrong with fundraising.

Despite the fact that they’ve never worked in our sector and don’t have a clue about our challenges.

Look at how we practically turn cartwheels to get the attention of wealthy supporters.

Am I saying that having money is a bad thing? Of course not. Are wealthy people inherently jerks? No. Don’t be ridiculous.?

But our money mindset may affect our fundraising.

I would argue that it often means that we put our focus on the wrong things.?

Things like focusing on the last 20 largest gifts.?

And ignoring those donors in your database who have written out $25/$50/$75 checks every year for the past 12 years.

Things like creating a new program to fit within the constraints of a major funding opportunity from a certain grantmaker.?

While ignoring the fact that you can barely operate your existing programs. And what you really need is general operating support.

Things like focusing solely on growing your major donor program. When your organization hasn’t yet built a base of individual giving and you’re simply not ready.

Things like accepting gifts from people, institutions, and corporations whose values don’t align with yours.

Most of all, things like treating donor care and stewardship as an afterthought and failing to properly invest in it.

Fundraising isn’t wrong. But the way we practice it often can be.?

Why are you here and what are your values? Do they include inclusion, diversity, compassion, empathy, justice…love?

I am here to tell you that you absolutely can build a broad base of individual general operating support to support your mission.

You absolutely can build genuine partnerships with middle-class, wealthy, and, yes, even low-income donors to see you through any crisis.?

And you can do it while remaining true to your values and treating every donor with the care and respect they deserve.?

Fundraising is not about asking rich people for money.