The way we do things, matters. Sometimes, even more than the outcomes

Your integrity is your destiny - it is the light that guides your way. Heraclitus

In terms of results, success will always depend on many factors outside our control. We don’t control what our customers, colleagues, partners and everyone around us decides, thinks and feels. Yes, we can influence it! But in the end, it is up to them. We don’t control our targets. We set them as an inspiration and build plans around them, but for us to achieve them, other people need to decide to buy our products, services and ideas, or we will never reach them.?

On the other hand, we control 100% how we go about things: our decisions, responses to challenges, how we bring alive our values in difficult circumstances, what we say and what we don’t. We have full control on those things. It might not be easy to stay calm and focus when challenging situations arise, and still, we are the only ones responsible for how we choose to respond.???

We can always act in accordance with our intentions and values. Does this mean we should be ok and happy when we don’t achieve our goals because we acted in alignment with our values and best possible responses? Well, not necessarily happy, but I would say that we can find inner peace when we know we did our very best. And, when we know that that is not enough, if some of our values are “achievement”, “learning” and “improving” I’m confident whatever happens, will be a great lesson to increase the chances of success for the next one. Learning from every situation is a fundamental value to become more effective. How much do you value learning from every situation??

The big difference is where we focus our attention and energy, on learning from every situation or on merely admiring our achievements (and egos) when we reach goals, and punishing ourselves when we don’t?

Some spiritual practices talk about “dissolving the ego,” though I don’t actually suggest going as far as that, at least not yet. Let’s at least be happy for the right reason and put the ego to work for our values and long term inner piece.?

Powerful question to ask yourself:

How can I build an ego that appreciates learning and playing at your best over any short term goal?

Make change happen:

We all agree that it is important to obtain tangible results. What we sometimes forget is that, in order for this to happen, It will also be harmful to sacrifice the process in which we do it.

In the long run our purpose, our long term intentions and being honest to ourselves will prevail.

In order to assess our intentions and purpose, we can ask ourselves some questions which – if answered honestly – can help guide us toward new discoveries.

In my case, given my own intentions to consciously connect, generously support and kindly challenge, the most important questions for me would be:

- Have I connected with people and the situation while being 100% present?

- Was I helpful to other people?

- Did I challenge them, kindly, to be the best possible versions of themselves?

- And finally, to turn the experience itself into an opportunity:

- What did I learn?

- What am I proud of, given how I acted?

- What would I try doing differently?

Now it's your turn. Given your purpose and values, having clarity of intentions, what questions will you ask yourself?

Give yourself space to think carefully, and keep those questions to yourself to carry with you in your daily life. You can be the change, and at the same time, not lose your ways along the way.

Fran Cherny

P.S. If you want to delve deeper into the art of transformation and organizational change, don't forget to read #BeTheChange