The Way I Learned to Focus

Even Though I'm Off the Charts for ADD

It’s a common belief that people like me with ADD and other “disorders” have a tough time focusing. That's true to varying degrees.

For instance, I have friends and family who can’t sit still, finish a project, read a book, read a one-page letter, or watch a video longer than two minutes.

In my humble view, that’s their focus. My focus is different.

Even though I score off the charts for ADD, how am I able to paint for hours, write, edit, and publish over 300,000 words each year, manage up to ten business coaching clients, ghostwrite a real estate tycoon’s non-fiction book, and get a lot done on time, and well?

Focus on what matters, not what doesn’t.

Focus on improving yourself every day and, in doing so, make the world a better place.

“Give me a break,” I hear you say.

Please stick with me here.

About Me

I know who I am. It’s taken a lifetime. I’m 62.9 years young.

I’ve been through hell and back more than once. It’s what makes me a better servant to others.

My purpose comes from knowing who I AM, a knowledge born from six decades of life.

My spiritual purpose is to learn to love more, forgive faster, and serve others as I would myself.

That’s the Golden Rule. It’s one rule we can agree on unless you’re a psychopath.

I’m learning more every day.

I’m also learning what I don’t want, making it easier to set healthy boundaries and say, “No.”

Knowing What You Don’t Want

The best way to get what you want is to know what you don’t want. It’s like the path of negation to knowing God.

Great strategists know that by knowing what not to do, we are free to focus on mission-critical steps to achieve the goal.

We take the path of negation by ruling out the people, places, and things that don’t resonate with us or that higher power on a universal, soul level.

If that sounds goofy, read more of my stuff. I’ve discovered this through my direct experience.

Knowing who I am allows me to set better boundaries, simplify my life, and focus on what I want and don’t want.

My father used to say, “Clifford, if you’re going to go for what you want and give it your best, decide what you want to give up to get it. Choose wisely.”

Today, my growing clan in Arizona has one focus on core values and priorities that relate to our shared values:

1. Love God with everything we’ve got.
2. Protect the family unit with everything we’ve got.
3. Do our best with everything else, including community service, business ownership, enterprise, faith time, fitness, etc.

Let’s Focus on You

When you know who you are, you can know what you want.

When you know what you want, you can choose goals.

When you know what you want and choose goals, you can focus on the process leading to your desired success.

“The trick to success is to choose the right habit and bring just enough discipline to establish it. That’s it.” — Gary Keller, The One Thing

Your process becomes the set of habits that lead to discipline. A sound process drives everything.

If your process and systems are flawed due to your thinking, your outcomes will differ from what you would like.

You can’t control your success. You can only control how you show up daily and do your work.

You can control giving up control, and I know because I’m a recovering control freak.

Focus on the process of improving yourself.

Job #1

Our most important job is serving others well. It’s learning to love the unlovable.

But to take care of others, we must take care of ourselves.

That’s why the airlines teach us to put our oxygen masks on first. We’re in a position to help those around us.

It’s a conundrum. Take care of me or others, first?

You’ll learn if you give yourself enough time. I never loved school. But I love the school of life.

Now, let’s look at the process of learning to know yourself and love it all.

How to Know Yourself

Develop a process for “working on yourself.” That’s what this next part is about.

If you won’t work on you, who will?

It all begins with the power of being willing to search inside yourself and do the work of becoming a better human.

That means watching, listening, and taking the next indicated steps daily to learn what feels best for you.

How can you make a difference today?

Here are the steps you can use to search within your heart. Consider these steps a process for improving yourself.

In other words, work on yourself every day and see what happens.

1. Observe your reactions and energy: Become a student of yourself. Study hard! Consider how you react to different situations. Take notes in your journal. If you don’t have a journal, get one! Observing and journaling will help you understand your triggers and emotional responses.
2. Feel your feelings: We tend to numb existential pain with food, booze, drugs, and all sorts of stuff we take too far. We feel everything when we clear our minds and bodies of toxins and fill them with fresh air, clean water, decent sleep, and healthy foods.
3. Process your feelings: Feel the feelings. Go into them. Ask them what they want you to learn. Listen, and take the next indicated steps. For example, when anxiety kicks in, sit with it. Let the emotions come. Let them go. Don’t invite them in for coffee because they will want to move in by the next day.
4. Be curious and ask lots of questions: Ask yourself deep questions about your values, gifts, limitations, goals, and desires. This introspection is crucial for self-understanding. “Who am I?” “What gives me energy, and what takes it away?” “What is my duty, and how can I find the power to do what is best?” Ask, listen. Ask, listen. Never stop. You’re a student in the school of life.
5. Analyze your dreams, observations, and experiences: Journaling can reveal subconscious thoughts and emotions, offering a deeper understanding of your inner self. You don’t need to become a Jungian analyst to think about the meaning of your dreams. Just look for signs and listen to your good self.
6. Visualize your ideal day: We used to play make-believe when we were kids, and then we forgot. Seeing is believing if you believe so! Imagining your perfect day can help you identify what makes you happy and fulfilled. There’s infinite power in your imagination when you use it to improve yourself and the world.
7. Notice energy boosts and fails: Be aware of activities and people that drain or uplift your energy. Awareness of energy is your tool for improving your life. We’re made of energy. Energy never dies. It simply changes form: particles and waves. But it can give us strength or zap us.
8. Spend time alone: Most of us can’t stand being alone. Taking time away from external stimuli allows you to reflect and connect with your thoughts and feelings. I love hiking, cycling, walking, painting, writing, sketching, and meditating. Find what you love and give yourself a break.
9. Embrace humility: You can’t be great at everything. Be yourself. Don’t be fake. Humility in accepting your strengths and weaknesses is essential for true self-awareness.

Asking for Help

Get professional help before you need it. I don’t regret anything in my past, even though some of it was brutal.

Knowing what I know now, I would be more open, honest, and willing to ask for help sooner.

Here’s my conclusion on everything. It’s all good.

Why?

It’s my chosen, trained state of mind. It’s taken a lifetime to see everything through this lens.

Our perspective determines what is good or bad and everything in between.

Until we know how to change our perspective.

We’re not in control. Something much bigger and indescribable is. It goes by many names.

We can control our perspective. We can zoom in and sweat all the small stuff. Or we can zoom out and up, and get vertically aligned with the power that runs the entire show.

The more we ask for help, the more it will help as long as we focus on love and goodness.

One Thing to Focus On

In closing, if you can’t focus on much good, use your suffering as the springboard to courage and change your ways.

Karma runs the school of life.

Choose your focus wisely here and now. Stick with that. Observe yourself and develop a process for you to rely on daily.

You’ll know more about yourself tomorrow.

Focus on loving yourself and everything else. If that sounds selfish, shift your perspective.

Thanks for reading, commenting, and sharing my article. I write about the art of human transformation and help freedom-seeking entrepreneurs achieve predictable cash flow. Sign up for my newsletter at www.TheClarityLetter.com . Discover the art of business development at www.learn.cliffordjones.com .