The way I am: A deck for understanding neurodivergent thinking
In conversation with Fran?oise Prandi, wellbeing coach and creator of My Mindful Cards?
Awareness of neurodiversity has rapidly spread in the past decade. Initiatives like national neurodiversity week (1) and workshops on including neurodivergent thinkers are becoming more common in the workplace. This is great news because in the UK, about 15% of the population is neurodivergent. Global neurodiversity numbers are thought to be at 10-15%. (2)
On the other hand, many people remain undiagnosed. And schools in the UK are seeing an increase in neurodiverse pupils but are not always able to cater to these children’s needs due to limitations in the education system. (3)
I spoke with Fran?oise Prandi , wellbeing coach and creator of My Mindful Cards ?—a powerful tool for transforming our understanding of neurodivergent individuals at home, school, and in the workplace—to grasp how the cards can be used in various scenarios to increase awareness and inclusion.
She also describes how her lived experiences and those of her family members led to the deck’s development in this interview. Give it a read if you’re looking for a way to spark meaningful conversations and foster empathy.
Hi Fran?oise! Tell us where it all started :)
Hi! I grew up in France and had a passion for languages from a young age. I then worked as an au pair before joining Japan Airlines as a cabin crew member. Travelling around the world by the time I was 20 was fulfilling, until the novelty wore off and a combination of?isolation and past trauma set in.
It felt like a very different environment to work in and I had a hard time relating to others, so I sank into chronic depression. This was in the 1990s, when mental health was still unchartered territory.?I made a desperate call to the NHS one final day, and being allowed to share how and what I felt without judgement changed everything. It got me started on an inner transformation journey, where I healed my body through natural therapies alongside conventional medicine.
That's when I developed a passion for coaching, and landed a role at a company that funded my master’s degree in executive coaching and mentoring at 43! All these experiences became the catalyst for creating My Mindful Cards?.
How did My Mindful Cards? take off?
The cards are a CBT-based holistic creation inspired by my client coaching experiences; my lived experiences of not fitting in; and the lived experiences of my children and family members. (4) For example, some of my most memorable coachees were on the spectrum, my mum was diagnosed with bipolar disorder at the age of 76, and my husband and son are thought to be neurodivergent.?
My son was made to sit at a green table with a couple of other pupils, away from the rest of his classmates at school some years ago. Although it’s understandable that some children need more support than others, it's important to remain inclusive, and how we do so matters.?This felt far from it.
I have witnessed how neurodivergent individuals tend to feel misunderstood, anxious, and isolated. The language we use to describe them is also a big source of anxiety. When my mum was diagnosed as bipolar e.g., I never called it a deficit or a disorder. The lingo is where it starts, as well as the fact that we're not letting ourselves become used to diverse thinking. We’re accustomed to neurotypical ways of thinking and don’t know how to use someone else's language.?
Developing My Mindful Cards? became a question of “How do we bridge that gap and come together?” I wanted to create something that allows us to hold space, appreciate the self and others, and understand how we impact them. These cards are my way of enabling inclusive language, mitigating stigma, and providing psychological safety through gentle inquiry and contemplation. They suit both the neurotypical and neurodivergent community.?
How can My Mindful Cards? help us understand neurodivergent thinking??
The beauty of these cards lies in their versatility. There’s intentionally no rulebook for using them, because I didn’t want acceptance and inclusion to come through pressure or a box-ticking exercise.?
The deck is a mindful game for use at school, work, and home. Each card has a question to reflect on, and a section for writing or drawing your answer or sharing a quote. The questions can be used as a personal reflection tool, and for understanding someone else. It’s been fulfilling to see the difference these reflective exercises have made to people’s lives by having them experiment with the cards.?
I've seen how companies often state “we’re happy to make reasonable adjustments to the recruitment process” on their company website/in job posts. However, saying this already illustrates a divide. My Mindful Cards?, however, can be used for hiring, training, and coaching employees in the workplace to genuinely understand how everyone thinks and what they need. Pairs of team members can pull a card to facilitate a conversation, and invite each other to expand on the reflection. Colleagues can share their findings within the group (if comfortable) to build connections and spark interactions we usually don’t make time for.?
In one-to-one meetings, managers can use the cards to engage in a deeper conversation with their team members. Any manager willing to use these cards will learn about themselves in the process too, as opposed to learning through programs, workshops, or courses on inclusion. This tool is simple yet effective.?
Of course the challenges of communicating at work won’t go away entirely, since everyone communicates differently. The shift will be in allowing ourselves to have these conversations as opposed to pretending we don't need them.
At home, couples and families can use them to foster understanding, reduce judgement, and cultivate empathy. I have my children's cards pinned on the fridge to remind me of their uniqueness, way of thinking, and talent.?Despite using really different languages and us being different thinkers as a couple, it equipped us to unite as a family. I morphed these experiences into a product which can be used for Emotional Intelligence development at home for this reason.
I've used the cards with my son to kindle his inquisitive nature in a compassionate way. We went into a takeaway place (he was only six years old at the time) and he asked the server "do you like your job?" When they said "yes", he asked "but what do you like about your job?" The genuine nature of this question caught my attention and inspired me to create similar questions in the deck.
In the classroom, teachers can encourage students to use the cards during PSHE lessons to create inclusion and teach empathy. (5) Teachers can encourage their students to write and draw the answers based on their feelings.
The cards can be given to the children’s?parents at the end of the year, both as a memento and a way to understand their child.??Parents will build more appreciation for their child's creativity and talent. And they get to see what's going on in their child's mind, giving them the chance to say "wow, I finally understand how you think" to their child.
What others are saying about My Mindful Cards
"My Mindful Cards? provides a journey towards self-discovery, freedom to be ourselves, and express daily gratitude. Fran?oise has poured her heart into creating a tool that not only helps navigate the complexities of emotions and talk about them, but also serves as a gentle reminder of the good in our lives. My Mindful Cards? have provided safety, clarity and comfort. I would highly recommend Fran?oise’ product and services" says Michelle, a client from Network Rail.
“I would definitely use My Mindful Cards? in the classroom and while tutoring teen girls online to increase mutual kind connection. I particularly like one of the cards that says “I fully appreciate your diverse way of thinking. I'm sure you have many skills and gifts like all of the children, and I'd love to find out what they are.” I love this statement because it is INCLUSIVE, instead of DIVISIVE” says Sonal Patel, English and empowerment tutor and producer of the Empower Your Teen Girl podcast.?
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Urvina Shah, career coach and co-founder of UKAN Coaching is also encouraged by the launch of this deck. “Until my daughter, who has learning difficulties, went to the right school at the age of 7, she didn’t have any friends. She’d be in the playground by herself, struggled to learn, and numbers were particularly difficult. Each school eventually decided it could not cater to her. She’d been to 3 schools by then. Fighting to get her to the right school was traumatic and affected our health. However, once she was at the right school, with all the support, knowledge and experienced SEN teachers, life became a lot simpler and easier.?
She is 21 now and her first paid job was a very difficult experience. If managers had tools like these to communicate with neurodiverse people, I really believe it would change the experience for both parties for the better” says Urvina. ?
How has the market response been to the cards??
We’ve launched and tested the cards at local markets and predominantly well-being events in the UK. Parents with children who are neurodivergent, and adults with learning difficulties have loved and enjoyed playing this reflective game. It was beautiful to watch people reconnect with their feelings, and build a connection with those who think differently in a comfortable and safe manner.??
I engaged with someone who heads the neurodiverse community within a big UK organisation to talk through the cards’ design and reflections. He’d been diagnosed from a young age, and was familiar with the CBT-based reflections in the cards. He strongly believes our deck will be beneficial as a workplace tool for understanding neurodivergent people.?
Other feedback we've received is that the cards are tactile, and mutually inclusive.?
What makes My Mindful Cards? special??
The cards and their branding can be customised for each company, and you can decide how to use them for hiring, team building, and training depending on your needs.?
I facilitate using the deck of cards, and offer a portfolio of tools to companies and schools. This helps me create a bespoke product and guidelines to make sure nothing is mass-produced. I believe the best people to decide how to use them are those who need and want to facilitate an inclusive environment. Companies usually have neurodiversity champions within their workforce, and we're looking to work with either the whole community or with those champions to facilitate sessions and reach consensus.
Plenty of people have only just been diagnosed, and those who’ve been diagnosed from a young age can help facilitate sessions or conversations in the workplace.
Can this deck also be used as a tool for self-reflection and personal growth?
Anyone can start a daily journaling practice with these cards. You can also write directly on the cards and display them in a place you like (they come with an engraved wooden magnet).
Michelle, one of my clients at Network Rail, mentioned she’d gone through a difficult time and used the exercise “who brings you joy in your life?” to remind her of the good things. She jotted some reflections on this card and pinned it next to her computer as a daily reminder.?
How can My Mindful Cards? be ordered?
Check out my official website mymindfulcards.co.uk Because the deck is versatile and there are countless possibilities, I’d love to speak with buyers before they make a purchase to help them get the best results.?You can book this complimentary call via: Introduction Call with Fran?oise at My Mindful Cards?.
This setup was intentional, since it's not about the product alone or else I'd have just sold it on Amazon. The calls will help me facilitate a journey and practice to collectively create a movement of unity.
There will come a time when the majority of the population will understand we all have diverse minds. That we were born unique but simply quashed into fitting into a certain "format". I see My Mindful Cards? as a key to a door that'll help us listen to the language of our heart. It'll enable us to be as "weird" as we were meant to!
More ways to stay in touch with Fran?oise:
#wellbeing #neurodiversity #DEI #awareness #writers
Sources:
Raksha Daryanani is a freelance journalist, ghostwriter, and editor. She helps people bring their stories and ideas to life via articles, social media posts, speeches, and books. She also publishes a weekly Substack newsletter on becoming more aware, building a habit of reflection, and appreciating the beauty of life. Sign up here or DM to find out how she can write for you.
and Kudos to Mindful Cards
Truly insightful !!!!
This is a great tool! Thanks for sharing ??
Author/Intuitive-Cognition / The "brand" is the Brain: E=mc2 & Entanglement as fundamentals for building Quantum Intuitive-Cognitive language & intelligence skills
7 个月"Not letting ourselves become used to diverse thinking" and generally using language to change the semantics of how we describe our diversities. Excellent article -- love the cards. When the early stages of intuitive language development can represent and include the true principles of cognitive diversification, both emotionally and intellectually, then schools can optimize how all capabilities of young children should never be classified as disorders, or disabilities. The real danger in isolating so-called "neuro-divergent" children is that we are inadvertently teaching the non-neuro-divergent children that they do not have to include non-conventional thinkers in the collaborative group process. Isn't that what we used to describe as an oxy-moron??
TEDx, Keynote & Motivational Speaker | Author | Business Coach for speakers and aspiring speakers | Founder & CEO at 100 Lunches & 100 Speakers| 40 under 40 Business Elite | People Connector
7 个月It's inspiring to see the impact you're making through your work. Your dedication to raising awareness and understanding for neurodivergent individuals is truly commendable. Keep up the great work! ??