Wave 1: Empty-ness

Hi! It has been long, very long, close to a year, isnt it?

In my last entry, I ended my count down to 2023 and Closed my 2022 chapter on a sweet note. Not going to lie, writing an article now doesn't seem as natural, it now involves a greater usage of the backspace key, effort and time.

Albeit the struggle, I am glad to be back. I am also not too sure why I did not countinue my newsletter which I named it "Counting down to 2023". It was definitely a newsletter that got me through 2022, I looked forward to being inspired everyday and being able to craft an article about it, be it a bite-sized reflection, a note of inspiration or learnings from school. As much as I hoped the newsletter was helpful to someone in the universe, it was definitely helpful for my mind, heart and soul. Looking back at my previous enteries leaves a smile on my face. I think that newsletter has achieved its purpose - to heal me, others and maybe you - and now it is time for another begining of my life where I want to start "Making Waves".

In this newsletter, I aim to post biweekly and as and when I find my fingers itching to pen my thoughts :).

I hope everyone has been well, what have you guys been up to? I would love to know ?.

I have just started my job hunt journey, and everyday feels a bit like a roller coaster. Not those andrenaline pumping, dare devil rides but maybe a kid train ride. There are ups and downs but nothing too hard on the heart. For which, I am learning to not take things to heart and go with the flow. Going where fate brings me.

The other day on a bus ride, I came across these residential buildings which I feel aptly represent my emotional ride on this job search.

The different gradient of Red on each floor and across each floor seemingly represent the many different emotions I face everyday. Maybe its like the blood flow and adrenaline when I successful send a job application, when I get a call for interview or when I get rejected. Sometimes I feel emotionless and numb, thus the white on the middle floors. Some days I get so excited and hopeful when I am pleased with my cover letter or see an exciting job opening.

If red may seem like a hostile colour to you then perhaps these Purples and Blues may resonate with you.

On some days, I feel a mixture of all the colours on these buildings combined. In the morning I may feel pumped as I pace around the bright Red floors waiting for my interview outcome, then I walk to the Blue building in the afternoon when the text never comes and by the evening I get anxiously Purple when I am invited to a second interview. And now I try to wait patiently in the White floors, switching between different buildings everyday, trying to find a White floor that brings me calm.

I think I like the White floors, its tranquil, quiet and peaceful. I know it definitely does not help to think there will always be storm after the peace, so currently enjoy finding the White spots in every colour.

What colour are you feeling today? Perhaps a shade of purple? ??

Regardless, I am just glad to be back (: