Watching your business on life support is deeply painful, and it's OK to feel the emotions.

This week I was suppose to write part IV of my Work From Home series, getting and keeping a WFH culture. But I need to recognise something I've been feeling for the last two weeks, and might be something other people are feeling too.

That due to no fault of your own, your business is suffering.

Since COVID began, your business may have been drained of its vitality and now, right in front of your eyes is on life support, and the doctors can't tell you what's going to happen. And you are left standing, waiting and watching.

Usually I write based on my experience which are intended to provide tips or direction of what you can do. I've always believed that content should have utility. That, even if it's not useful for you, it could be a creative act unto itself. But this is not that.

Here I am going to attempt to describe what I and perhaps others might be feeling about their business during this time. If you are a business leader, owner or know someone who is, my hope is that this piece offers a feeling of connection that you are not alone in your experience of emotions.

Here are the five emotions I am feeling during this time as I watch my business struggle to stay alive. Maybe you are too?

Helplessness

Clients pulling out of projects and the word 'Pivot' abounds. Prospected opportunities are going into holding patterns to 'see what happens'. The government extends lockdown, schools push parents to homeschool their kids 6-8 hours a day whilst trying to work. And whilst all of this is happening the revenue forecast is deteriorating.

None of this is your fault.

There is so much we can not and will not ever control. And yet, it's incredibly hard to stand by and do nothing. We've seen an explosion of online content, offerings and courses as people spring to action. It's incredible to watch and overwhelming to engage with. But what other options are we being given?

Grief

A sadness or sorrow. I feel this one in my throat and chest. When I think of not being able to continue to do work that makes me feel alive I feel sadness. When I think about the excitement and connection I have felt by working in a meaningful way over the past 4 years, and that not happening anymore, it turns into a lump in my throat and it says,

That might be over now.

Then that lump turns into so many different things. Lately it's been action. But I often ask myself, is anyone even listening or am I just a part of a bigger crowd?

Fear

This is a big one. All the 'What If's'. The things that can keep you up at night. Everyday brings a fresh bout of fear and you are confronted with the decision of what to do with that fear. Do you act upon it? Do you accept it? Do you fight it? This manifests for me in questions like:

• What if the businesses doesn't make it?
• What if this continues for another month, 3 months, 6 months?
• What happens when the government support ends?
• What happens if my clients don't recover?
• Will the post COVID-19 world need me?

I have no answers to any of these questions but they are ever present, and often strike me first thing in the morning, and I have do decide what to do, if anything, about them.

Hope

I'm looking for people who are going through this and are courageous enough to share. For communities that are willing to just listen to the situations and not try to fix anything. For friends that help me have a sense of hope, that things will recover and when they do your resilience and creativity will show through. Just being a part of this give me hope.

I want to hear the real stories of people living through the challenges, not crushing them on instagram.

Patience

I enter each day with a belief. That if I look hard enough, there will be positive signals amongst the noise. That if I listen intently enough, I'll be able to hear new shoots of life taking root. I see communities creating and connecting more earnestly than ever, and in that blitz there is a very strong intent to share and grow. Perhaps this is how patience can turn into hope?

That if I can exercise patience and authenticity, that those shoots will turn into meaningful relationships, where what I offer can help others too.

Finding acceptance with whatever happens.

How we accept and process loss is incredibly challenging to intellectually understand. Think about it, when we lose something or someone we care about, there is a yearning to close the 'wound' but for all the things we try to do, it will never truly be the same.

When Kobe Bryant, his daughter and seven other died earlier this year there was a unique sense of loss felt around the world. And the most touching act of acceptance I saw came from the players. Not the association, not the press, not social media, but the players. Within a day of the news, the players organised to pay tribute to Kobe by taking a 24 and 8 second violation at the beginning of their games. #24 and #8 were Kobes numbers. What struck me was the speed, thoughtfulness and heartfelt way the player did this. And even that falls short, but at the very least it was a meaningful expression of what emotions were there, and everyone was ready to accept them.

For now I don't have any tips, advice or how-to's. But I hope this helps put labels to some of the feelings you may be having, and to recognise that those are 100% valid. Take care ??