Watch What You are Saying!

I know that some people are terrified of public speaking. They would endure famine, pestilence and a slow Internet connection to avoid having to get up in front of people and talk. Me? Not so much. 

I am not sure if it comes from being the youngest of 12 siblings and fighting for the meager attentions bestowed by my parents, or if it is just my complete certainty that everyone must be as fascinated as I am by whatever comes out of my mouth that makes this so. I have learned over time that perhaps not everyone is quite as fascinated by me as I am, which may make me more endurable at cocktail parties, but public speaking? I am always ready. Lucky for me, my job has me presenting to groups of people fairly often. 

Recently I was given the opportunity to address a technical conference in China. Given the location and nature of the conference, it was a safe bet that of the 300 or so participants, maybe 10 or so spoke any English at all. I find that speaking to people who do not understand a word I say can cramp my style. Not that this will stop me or even slow me down. 

My good friend and business partner in China and I had been here before, and we knew what to do. We rehearsed carefully, so that he knew the presentation as well as I did.  Then, rather than droning on in a language no one understood, I would make a very brief comment on each slide while my partner did the bulk of the explaining. 

Folks who do public speaking know that the audience is a big part of the show, and that speaking to an empty disinterested room makes the job twice as hard.

We did not draw a good timeslot. As anyone knows who has been to a conference like this, late afternoon is a time when most folks meet with colleagues or take a break before dinner. Even those who stay are a bit weary of hearing technical presentations all day. 

As we listened to the speaker right before us, we watched as one by one, people started to leave the room. Time slowed down as our slot approached. The room looked like a New Years Eve party and 1:00 AM, filled with empty tables and desperation as the speaker painstakingly read, word for word, his PowerPoint slides. The few people who were still there were openly giggling at cat videos on their phones

Finally it was our turn at the podium.  We resolved to simply go up and have a good time, and not worry about how many people were there or if they were even listening.

That is just what we did. We told jokes and bantered back and forth. I did my best to be visibly excited about our subject and to connect with the audience. Knowing that they could not understand a word I was saying, I made eye contact and spoke directly to individuals in the room, trying to get them as excited as I was about our topic. 

Slowly the vibe in the room started to change, and people began to put down their phones. More began to drift back into the room. There were even a few smiles and nods. It was working. By then end of the talk we had a full house and a round of applause when we wrapped up. 

We walked off the stage, happy and excited to have done well in a tough room. What happened next was what really surprised me. After the talk many people came up to me and told me (though interpreters) how much they liked the talk and how much they learned. They asked me questions about the topic and expressed interest in learning more. In my mind I was thinking, “You did not understand a word I said”. Why were they asking me? My partner was right there and he assured me that the comments were directed at me and not him, though he got his share of well-deserved positive comments on the fine job he did. 

Dr. Albert Mehrambian wrote in his book Silent Messages, that only 7% of communication is done through words. This was certainly an example of what he was trying to say. Despite not speaking a word of their language, I was able to convey a lot; my excitement about the topic, the value of the message, our sincerity in wanting to provide useful information to our audience, and of course a validation of my partners words. 

This got me to thinking. My non-verbal communications can have an impact. More importantly, I am communicating all the time, whether I’m aware of it or not. I can have an effect on people no matter what I am doing. The attitude I display rubs off on the people around me, building them up or dragging them down. My non-verbal communication brings people to me or pushes them away from me. It made me conscious of the amount of time I spend in my own personal bubble, not really thinking about how my attitude affects others. 

In sales this is crucial to understand. No matter how great my product is or how well schooled my words are, if my attitude is not right, no one will hear.  On the flip side, enthusiasm can make up for a lot.  In real life it is about what kind of person I want to be. Does my attitude make folks want to be around me? Am I a net positive in my relationships?

Like it or not I affect the world, positively or negatively, just by being here. Will my excitement about my product rub off on my customers? Sure it will. Will my smile at my lunch server solve world hunger? No, but it might make it easier to get though her shift. 

Like it or not we are always communicating.  Lets be attentive not only to what we say, but also how we say it.