Watch a No Holds Barred Nervous Breakdown in Action

Writing a blog post detailing a nervous breakdown was incredibly challenging for me.

• I had to get honest with myself.
• I had to face some uncomfortable realities.
• I had to go deep.

To get as clear as possible, I began writing it last week immediately after having a small nervous breakdown.

According to the  Mayo Clinic,  “the term “nervous breakdown” is sometimes used to describe a stressful situation in which someone becomes temporarily unable to function normally in day-to-day life. It’s commonly understood to occur when life’s demands become physically and emotionally overwhelming. The term was frequently used in the past to cover a variety of mental disorders, but it’s used less often today.

Nervous breakdown isn’t a medical term, however, nor does it indicate a specific mental illness. But that doesn’t mean it’s a normal or a healthy response to stress. A nervous breakdown may indicate an underlying mental health problem that needs attention, such as depression or anxiety.

Signs of a nervous breakdown vary from person to person and depend on the underlying cause. Exactly what constitutes a nervous breakdown also varies from one culture to another. Generally, it’s understood to mean that a person is no longer able to function normally.”

Through working with my therapist, I have gained insight into my own nervous breakdowns through the years. Without you being inside my brain, here is the closet that I could get to you letting you in.

Mental Health Triggers

My breakdowns start with my internal response to certain mental health triggers:

Triggers Lead to Thoughts

1. Financial transactions. As I shared about in my article, Mental Health Triggers and How to Catch Bullets Like a Ninja, anything having to do with money can be a trigger for me. Even finding a penny on the ground in the rain can get my mind into a bad place quickly.
2. People who constantly whine, complain, and vent. I feel like someones emotional punching bag when this happens and see this as a form of abuse actually.
3. Feeling like someone is imposing their religious beliefs on me. I support all religion, but there are certain ones who encourage people to introduce everyone they meet to it. Despite my attempts at establishing my boundaries politely during these encounters, many times the person continues to press the issue. This snaps me into extreme anger quite easily. I also have a similar reaction to people who approach me about network marketing. See this Facebook post… NOTE: This can also apply to people who try to persuade me into their network marketing opportunity after I politely decline. See this Facebook post also…
4. Someone talking down to me. I don’t care who someone is or what title they have. We are all equals.
5. Not getting fresh air every few hours. If I don’t do this, I get anxious.
6. Not eating every few hours. If I don’t do this, I get hangry.
7. Feeling like I’m the only one who puts effort into a relationship. I feel this way a lot.
8. Not exercising. I need to either be weight training or doing cardio for an hour each day. Exercising focuses my energy, clears my mind, conditions my body, and gives me a profound sense of vision. Big thanks to Maik Weidenbach, my trainer who has taught me more about my mental health than anyone else in my life.
9. Not meditating. Primordial sound meditation twice a day really calms me down. See my article, How Meditation Became My Medication.
10. Feeling powerless in a situation. Through therapy, I’m learning that this may be the root of many of my mental health challenges. More to come on this in future articles…
11. No rest, relaxation, or recreation time. All work and no play leaves a sad Mike Veeeeeenay.
12. Bad sex. I love sex and good sex is serious business.
13. Being stuck in a social situation with people that don’t like me. BIG TRIGGER FOR ME! This is true whether it is real or imagined.
14. Not having my feelings affirmed by someone close to me. This one has been another big one for me. It’s been a recurring theme in my love life and something that I’m working through with my therapist.

Thoughts Lead to Feelings

Any of the above can lead to a fireworks show of emotion in less than one second.

I feel the following simultaneously:

• Angry
• Hurt
• Frustrated
• Confused
• Irritated
• Disappointed
• Agitated
• Scared
• Anxious
• Grieving

Inside of me, I move between each feeling quickly like this:

 Hopefully this diagram illustrates how painful and overwhelming this can be. For other people, it can be much, much worse.

Feelings Lead to Actions

My actions are typically negative, toxic, or inappropriate behavior. As a child, I would explode at home (and school sometimes). This included destroying things, trying to hurt my parents, trying to hurt my younger brother, and sometimes our pets. In addition, I would cut myself to numb the pain that I was feeling. As an adult, I tend to internalize everything (to keep myself out of legal trouble) and because I don’t want to hurt anyone. However, when I’m having a nervous breakdown, I get really angry at people.

For example:

• During these times, I think that the entire world can GO FUCK THEMSELVES!
• Everyone who exists in my life is an enemy. My defense against my enemies is to ignore them, so I hide. (NOTE: I didn’t talk to my family for almost a year)
• If I feel that you hurt me (real or imagined), I’m gonna get revenge on you. My cousin who is a devout, born-again Christian, decided to impose his beliefs on me and ignored/disregarded my, â€œThanks but I’ll pass response”. This set my brain into a tailspin and I chose to get revenge on him by harassing him for months.
• You get sentenced for life to resentment (which only hurts me).

Sometimes a nervous breakdown can happen for a few minutes. Sometimes a nervous breakdown can happen for a months. Either way – IT SUCKS!

Hopefully, I’ve given you some insight into what may be going on in the mind of someone who has regular nervous breakdowns. Every persons situation is unique, however. Maybe it’s genetics. Maybe it’s stress. Maybe we are just wired differently. Regardless, we are people.

Let me know your thoughts…