“It Wasn’t Supposed to be This Way”

Most of us feel very convicted about how we want our life to play out. At some point, we realize that life is uncertain.??This is particularly true when dealing with cognitive disorders like dementia. In most cases, we can’t predict or control the outcome.??Even the most grounded people can get knocked of their feet by a dementia diagnosis.

When working with senior couples, it is common for them to be at different care levels. The wife may be completely independent with her activities of daily living (ADL). The husband may have dementia and require secure memory care and assistance with his ADLs. My job is to find a senior living solution that will provide for both their needs, as well as most of their “wants”.

When Becca called my CarePatrol office, she was emotional, burnt out, and angry.??Over the last few years, the couple had been preparing for retirement. They planned on downsizing their home, watching the grandkids a few days a week, and travelling to all the national parks on their bucket list.??Mike’s dementia diagnosis rocked their world. Their home became a prison. Their kids were afraid to leave the grandkids with Mike.??The money they saved for travelling was being spent on home care and would be gone within a year. This is not how they pictured their life turning out.??Holding back tears, she stated “it’s not supposed to be this way!”

Becca had been trying to control the outcome. She took on Mike’s household responsibilities – managing the finances, cutting the grass, dealing with the broken toilet.??She also covered up his dementia symptom’s. They no longer went out for dinner or attended family events because she was afraid how he would act.??She lied about his nightly outbursts out of fear the kids would put dad in a nursing home. If someone you love has dementia, you know what I mean when I say it is heartbreaking. Everyone’s story is unique, but I can say with certainty that life with dementia isn’t what you thought your life would look like.

At CarePatrol, we deal with these circumstances daily. While every situation is unique, they all have one thing in common. Families need hope. We can’t control the outcome of a horrible disease like dementia. But based on our experience, we can say with great certainty that it will be ok.??Better than ok. We will be here with you through every step of the process to find the best possible solution for your loved ones journey.??

Just before the holiday weekend, I checked in on Mike at his memory care community. He had settled in and was adjusting to his new environment.??Later that day I bumped into Becca at Starbucks.??She was enjoying a coffee with a few girlfriends. It was the first time I had seen her in a situation other than taking care of her husband. It was the first time I had seen her laugh. I asked Becca how she was doing.??She stood up and squeezed me like my grandmother used to hug. She whispered “thank you, I’m doing ok.”

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At CarePatrol, our job is the help you navigate these situations and to find the care solution best suited for your needs.??We understand what you are going through, and no one is better at helping seniors and their families deal with the realities of aging than CarePatrol.??If you need help finding care for a senior, please give us a call.??Our services are free, and we are here to help.??

You can reach Eric Klein, CSA, , BCPA, CPRS at [email protected]