The warning signs of toxic leadership

Last week, I had the opportunity to catch up by phone with a friend with whom I had not talked in some time. In addition to some common ministry experience, we share an interest in leadership.

Since much of our conversation revolved around that subject, we talked about some situations we had witnessed and others we had lived. All the examples we discussed were of poor leadership or what has become known popularly as “toxic leadership.”

Since my earliest working days, long before I could do so legally, I have encountered countless examples of leadership. I’ve worked for family members on their farms. I’ve pumped gas, mowed grass, bagged groceries, and delivered pizzas. I’ve screen-printed towels, assembled boxes, sold cars, and substituted in classrooms. I’ve managed truck drivers and quoted freight rates. I’ve planted and pastored churches and counseled, assisted, and challenged pastors and church planters in three different regions of the country. I’ve seen the best and worst of leadership.

From my personal experiences, my own failures, and the stories I’ve heard others share, there are a few common warning signs of toxic leadership. These cautionary indicators can help us avoid harmful experiences or call us to correct course if we see them in the mirror.

A lack of understanding of the nature of leadership. One common element became clear when reflecting on some recent examples of toxic leadership I have encountered. Toxic leaders view their position as a way to exercise power. Healthy leaders view their role as a stewardship of authority. Toxic leaders assert a right to tell others what they should do. Healthy leaders assume the responsibility to make good decisions that produce good outcomes.

Some thirty years ago, I worked for a small trucking company in Lexington, NC. The company bore the name of the owner. While I worked there, I heard him insult truck drivers and customers. He insisted on making all operational decisions. Rather than give guidance to others to make good decisions, he made them all. It was a horror show, and I had no desire to be a character in it. I quit after less than a week.

It was an extreme example but a reality I had seen elsewhere. I made that same mistake in my earliest days with Builders Transport. I soon realized that if I said, whether with words or actions, that my decisions were the only valid or valuable ones, I’d be the only one making them.

Objectifying those we lead. “Objectifying” is a term commonly used to refer to viewing other humans as mere means of sexual satisfaction. It's at the core of the pornographic trade. However, a fundamental understanding of objectifying others is the reduction of humans to mere objects to satisfy any desire we may have.

Sadly, objectification is way too common in ministry leadership. And in a society that celebrates accomplishment, the temptation to objectify those we lead is strong. A friend who serves as part of the staff of a large multi-site church in another part of the country told me recently of their drift into objectification. As greater emphasis was placed on process, according to him, they were forsaking the responsibility to shepherd those drawn into the church.

The tension of task and relationship is one that every leader will have to manage. After all, it is imperative that we lead others in pursuit of a mission. Leaders do more than hang out with those they are leading. One friend, well-seasoned in ministry leadership, recently told me that he knew that his natural bent was toward task accomplishment but that he had learned he would need to genuinely care well for those he led to see the task accomplished. And he knew that shepherding involved more than empty words or feigned concern. Over decades of ministry leadership roles, he grew to care for those he led and saw the benefit of greater results.

What about you? As you think about the mission you are pursuing, do you see those you lead as a means to that end, or do you cultivate the relationship and invite them to own that mission with you?

As you consider the decisions you make and the discussions you have with your staff or the volunteers you lead, do your words, tone, and actions communicate a sense of responsibility or the assertion of some right?

Gather a small group of trusted friends and challenge one another with these questions. If you see the need to correct course, ask them to help you develop a plan to do that.

Enjoy your weekend.

The views and opinions expressed in my Thursday Thoughts on Leadership are my own. They do not necessarily reflect the views, opinions, or policies of the Baptist State Convention of North Carolina or any affiliated churches.