Warning Signs: The Six Communication Patterns That Signal Trouble

Want to know the real reason some people command respect while others struggle for influence?

It's not their title. It's not their expertise. It's not even their experience.

It's their ability to recognize and control their emotional patterns before they become communication disasters.

Think about your last challenging conversation.

Maybe it was a technical disagreement.

A project review that went sideways.

Or a simple discussion that somehow turned complex.

Did you find yourself:

- Over-explaining your position?

- Pushing harder when you felt resistance?

- Adapting your stance just to keep the peace?

These aren't just communication habits.

They're emotional patterns that signal when you're losing control of both the conversation and your credibility.

The good news?

These patterns are predictable.

They're recognizable.

And most importantly, they're manageable.

Let me show you how your emotions show up in communication and what to do about it.

Understanding Distress Patterns

The Process Communication Model (PCM), developed by Dr. Taibi Kahler, reveals how we all default to predictable communication patterns under pressure. These patterns, when understood, become powerful indicators of our emotional state.

Listen carefully - your words might be warning you:

The Thinker Pattern (Be Perfect):

Immediate signs: Using increasingly complex language, over-explaining, qualifying every statement

Escalation: Stops delegating

Warning phrase: "Just stop and think!"

Underlying emotion: Frustrated anger

The Persister Pattern (Be Perfect for Me):

Immediate signs: Using big words, expecting perfection from others, asking complicated questions

Escalation: Focuses on what's wrong rather than right

Warning phrase: "You shouldn't do that!"

Underlying emotion: Righteous anger

The Harmonizer Pattern (Please You):

Immediate signs: Over-adapting to others, making indirect requests

Escalation: Becomes too wishy-washy in decision making

Warning phrase: "That was my bad, oh"

Underlying emotion: Sadness

The Imaginer Pattern (Be Strong):

Immediate signs: Believing external factors control their thoughts/emotions

Escalation: Withdraws and spins wheels

Warning sign: Silent and walks away

Underlying emotion: Feeling insignificant

The Rebel Pattern (Try Hard):

Immediate signs: Indirect answers, "Uh, huh?", inviting others to think for them

Escalation: Delegates inappropriately and without direction

Warning phrase: "If it weren't for you..."

Underlying emotion: Vengefulness

The Promoter Pattern (Be Strong for Me):

Immediate signs: Says "you" when meaning "I", invites dependency

Escalation: Expects others to fend for themselves

Warning phrase: "Are you going to take that from him?"

Underlying emotion: Vindictiveness

Recognizing Your Pattern

The key to maintaining credibility isn't avoiding these patterns - it's recognizing them before they escalate.

Ask yourself:

1. Are my words becoming more complex than necessary?

2. Am I trying to control outcomes rather than understand perspectives?

3. Have I stopped asking direct questions?

4. Am I waiting for others to solve my challenges?

5. Am I pushing my beliefs instead of exploring others'?

6. Am I shutting down in silence?

Turning It Around

Recognition is only the first step. The real power comes in transformation.

Here's your three-step process:

1. Recognize the Pattern

When you notice your communication shifting into any of these patterns, pause. This awareness alone can prevent escalation.

2. Examine Your Words

Listen to yourself. Are you over-explaining? Making indirect requests? Pushing too hard? Your words are your first warning system.

3. Transform the Pattern

Use these questions from Byron Katie to shift your perspective:

- Is this thought absolutely true?

- Can I be certain about this interpretation?

- How do I react when I believe this thought?

- Who would I be without this thought?

- What's another way to see this situation?

The Power of Control

Remember: The person who best controls their emotions controls the conversation.

But control doesn't mean suppression.

It means recognition, understanding, and transformation.

When you can recognize your emotional patterns before they become communication disasters, you don't just maintain credibility.

You build it.

You strengthen it.

You transform it into genuine influence.

Because in the end, influence isn't about being perfect.

It's about being aware.

And now you know exactly what to look for.

Ready to transform how you communicate?

Want to learn how to:

? Decode these patterns in others?

? Build influence through better emotional awareness?

? Turn technical excellence into career advancement?

Join me for my free masterclass:

"Beyond Technical Excellence"

February 21st at 1 PM EST

Register here.