Warning Signs that a First Date Should be the Last

I grew up in Canada and, although a US citizen by birth, Thanksgiving really means nothing for me. I departed before the main course was served at the last Thanksgiving dinner to which I was invited, because the family fighting just didn't interest me. I will never understand why people who do not like each other gather together for a meal and call it a "holiday." I don't get Thanksgiving. You are welcome to it. I hope you enjoy yourself. I just don't get it.

But I have learned one important lesson about the holiday: Don't go alone to a restaurant on Thanksgiving unless you want everyone in the place to stare at you with an expression of pity. The day after Thanksgiving is a different matter. Today, I decided to get myself a nice lunch, "nice" meaning something maybe not as good as what I would prepare for myself (I'm actually not a bad cook) but something prepared by someone else.

I was seated at a table next to a couple who appeared to be on their first date. I did not intend to eavesdrop but the woman intrigued me. I don't know what they were talking about prior to her asking this question, but my antennae went up when I heard her ask her date, "Where were you born?" The reason was that prior to going to lunch I checked my bank account and the security question I was asked was, "In which city were you born?"

Strange coincidence. No need to call the authorities.

Their conversation continued. I was not interested until, "What do you enjoy reading?" which was immediately followed by, "What's your favorite magazine?" which, as you no doubt know, is another bank/credit card security question.

Once means nothing. Twice is a coincidence. Thrice is a conspiracy. So when her next question was, "Which sports team do you support?" I gave her date a very strange look.

I called the waitress over and asked her for the check. She left it on the table and I said to the woman's date, once the waitress had left, "Excuse me. I'm just running to the Men's Room. If she comes back please let her know I'm not running out on her." He smiled.

He also got the message and followed me to the loo. I told him of my suspicions. He thanked me and said he thought I was nuts. I asked if he actually knew the woman. He said that they had met yesterday, Thanksgiving, at the mall. I made a suggestion. I told him he could pay the check with a credit or debit card and watch to see if she looked at the number. Or, he could pay with cash and see if she reacted.

When we returned to our tables I paid with cash. He then called the waitress over and also paid with cash, telling her to keep the change. His date's response, "You know if you pay with your credit card you can get points."

I let them leave first and, as he was walking away he turned and mouthed in my direction, "Thank you!"

And that's when a first date should become a last date. 'Tis the season for identity theft!

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Bruce Hurwitz is an executive recruiter and career counselor. He has helped scores (thousands if you include attendees at his presentations) of people, including veterans, not only change jobs but, on occasion, change careers. Having successfully transitioned from academia to non-profits to the recruiting industry, he has been there and done that!

Bruce is a recognized authority on job search and career issues, having been quoted in over 700 articles, appearing in some 500 publications, across the United States and in more than 30 foreign countries. His posts on LinkedIn have been read over 300,000 times and have garnered national and international media attention, including television appearances on Fox Business Network and Headline News (CNN).  

In addition to serving on the Board of Directors of the Manhattan Chamber of Commerce, he chairs their Entrepreneurs Network, hosts their weekly podcast – The Voice of Manhattan Business – and serves as an Ambassador. 

An advocate for the protection of job seekers, visit the homepage of his website, www.hsstaffing.com, to read about questionable offerings of so-called job search assistance companies and to learn about his upcoming speaking engagements.