Is This a Warning Sign You’re Building the Wrong Startup?

“I’m struggling to keep leads interested long enough to actually close deals,” explained the entrepreneur sitting across from me. “Is it normal for my sales prospects to suddenly stop responding? Or is that a sign I’m building the wrong thing?”

I was immediately intrigued by the question. The entrepreneur was six months into building a B2B marketing software startup, and, judging by his issue, he was focusing on customer acquisition.

That’s a good sign, I thought to myself as I prepared to respond. Customer acquisition problems at least meant the entrepreneur was thinking about the right things. “It’s normal for prospects to stop responding,” I answered. “In your mind, your company is the most important thing in the world. But for potential customers, you still have to convince them to care.”

“I guess so,” he said. “But how do I convince them to care once they stop responding to me? How can I email them again without bugging them?”

I laughed. “That’s a simple problem to fix,” I replied.

“It is?” he asked.

“Yup!” I said. “You email them again. As-in right now. As-in, let’s pause our meeting and I want you to send an email to a lead that’s stopped responding.”

“Really?” he asked.

“Really,” I answered. And that’s exactly what we did. He took out his computer, and I sat next to him while he emailed a lead that had stopped responding.

Startups aren’t about making friends

The entrepreneur closed his laptop. “Are you done sending your email?” I asked.

He nodded.

“Great,” I continued. “Now I’ve got some bad news for you. If you’re worried about bugging a prospective customer, you might be in the wrong line of work. By definition, selling something requires convincing people to buy a product or service or some other thing they weren’t otherwise interested in buying. This means you’re going to have to bug them to some extent.”

“I know that,” he said. “But I hate being rude.”

“I don’t like being rude either,” I responded. “And, to be clear, I don’t mean you should harass people or act like a jerk. In fact, you absolutely shouldn’t do any of those things. Being a jerk isn't going to help you make sales. Instead, you should always be polite, kind, and respectful. But you’re still going to have to interrupt people’s lives in some way in order to get their attention, so… yes… you’re going to bug them. The issue is: How much are you going to have to bug them in order to get a response?”

Why sales prospects stop responding

When a sales prospect stops responding, one of two things is usually the cause.

The first possibility is that the prospect is legitimately busy. Never forget that the people you’re selling to are… well… people. That means they have personal and professional lives that inevitably impact their ability to buy your product. Maybe this means a huge deadline is coming up in the prospect’s own life and the person is swamped with other work. Or maybe the prospect’s child is critically ill, and the person is (rightly) focused on that issue rather than whatever you’re selling.

The second reason prospects stop responding are because they’re using a tactic called “ghosting.” The prospect is no longer interested in purchasing whatever you’re selling. However, rather than telling you “no,” the prospect is ignoring you while hoping you go away on your own. This is usually because the prospect doesn’t want to grapple with the discomfort of rejecting people. After all, it’s much easier to ignore someone than deal with the guilt and awkwardness of rejecting them.

By the way, the fact that the entrepreneur I was meeting with was worried about bugging prospects by sending more emails is an example of why ghosting is such an effective rejection strategy. Most “normal” people would feel guilty about sending too many messages, so they eventually go away on their own. Rejection accomplished!

But entrepreneurs aren’t usually “normal” people. They’re naturally persistent and stubborn, and they don’t go away on their own. Instead, if someone is genuinely a good sales prospect, then it’s the entrepreneur’s job to figure out why the person stopped responding in order to take the next step toward selling them. Doing so requires getting some sort of answer, and the best way to get an answer is — you guessed it — keep bugging them!

What to do when sales prospects stop responding

“So what happens next?” the entrepreneur asked me. “Do I just keep emailing people until they respond?”

“Not necessarily,” I answered. “It depends how good you think the prospect is.”

The entrepreneur looked relieved. In fact, he looked too relieved… like he thought I’d just given him permission to quit contacting people after a few emails. So I quickly added: “But it cuts both ways,” I explained. “In some cases, when prospects aren’t very good, your time is more valuable than the effort of reaching them. In that situation, the best thing you can do is stop wasting your time. However, in other cases, if you believe the prospect is perfect because that prospect would bring lots of value to you and — more importantly — you’d bring lots of value to them, you have to keep pursuing them even when they stop responding.”

“So I just keep emailing them indefinitely?” he asked.

“Definitely not,” I answered. “Give the person a couple days to respond. If you don’t hear back, then send another email. But if you still don’t get a response after a few emails, pick up the phone. Send a LinkedIn message. @ them on Twitter. Go over to the person’s office and knock on the door.”

He looked terrified. “You mean I’m just supposed to walk over to someone’s office and try to speak to them?” he asked as though speaking to the person was the same as me telling him to propose marriage.

“Maybe,” I answered. “If that’s the best way to break through, then sure, go to the person’s office and try to speak in-person. But more important than that, your job is to figure out the best way to get through to the prospect. In other words, you’re an entrepreneur, so be entrepreneurial! Figure it out!”

He took a deep breath as though stealing himself for the entrepreneurial battle ahead. “So I just keep reaching out,” he said. “OK… I think I can do that.”

I nodded my head in encouragement. “Yes, you can,” I said. “And remember — if you believe in the value of what you’re selling and the value it will provide to your customers, you’re never bugging them. You’re trying to help them. In fact, the only bad sign is that you’re worried about bugging people. If you’re genuinely worried you’re bugging people, maybe you need to reconsider whether you truly believe in what you’re building.”

That’s a lesson that’s true for every entrepreneur. If you’re worried about bugging your potential customers, then you need to think carefully about what you’re building. Do you really believe in it? If you do, then you should never feel like you’re bugging anyone. But if you don’t believe in what you’re selling and feel like you’re bugging people when you’re reaching out, it might be a warning sign you’re building the wrong startup.

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Aaron Dinin teaches entrepreneurship at Duke University. A version of this article originally appeared on Medium, where he frequently posts about startups, sales, and marketing. For more from Aaron, you can also follow him on Twitter or subscribe to his awesome podcast, Web Masters.