Warning - Emotional Trigger!!!

Something triggered me emotionally this week! Something triggered me and took me right back to a particular difficult and unpleasant time of my life, experienced whilst serving in the police service. The experience of being bullied.

Thankfully, that response this week was initially an emotional one having listened to a voice, seen a face and listened to the words along with the manner in those words were spoken. However, I am now in a far better place and that emotional reaction soon subsided to reveal a new insight and context as to what I was experiencing. I now know the person who is arguably the greatest risk to my future, myself. That personal insight took time and effort and I will be ever grateful for reaching this point in my life due to some wonderful relationships built up over the course of the last two years. That insight is still "work in progress" and arguably only ends when we ourselves decide to stop.

Previously I would have had to literally hide away from this particular person. Their unauthentic and disingenuous voice made me feel anxiety that I had never ever previously experienced.

But this time was different and instead it made me think and reflect. My thinking took me back to the graphic I developed only a few days ago but seemed to gain greater credence with the events this week.

In my opinion there are two types of bullying scenarios. Those that are as a result of misunderstandings which can unfortunately, and all too frequently escalate and become personal ,usually ending up, certainly in a hierarchical organisation with the higher rank dominating. That situation is exacerbated especially if there is over promotion or over confidence involved. Many people are inadvertently being forced into incompetence and therefore as a natural consequence bully (Deloitte puts the figure of +80% of leaders poorly selected and therefore ineffective).

Then there are the bully's who actually enjoy and thrive on the manipulation and coercion that propels them to ranks and positions way beyond their natural innate talents will, or should allow. These are the people at Level 1 of D?browski's Theory of Positive Disintegrations that are a potential threat to society.

But here is the conundrum! Is it their fault or a fault of the system?

How many aces do they have stored up their sleeves to assist themselves to propel ever upwards, creating devastation to the organisation and to the the people within it, mentally and physically. Like water, they see the cracks and weaknesses and use them to there full advantage. People can easily be preyed upon (I found that out!) by these particular type of people due to a vulnerability to help others and to make a difference. They are simply seen as collateral damage to their end goal, which is self-centered.

How do we therefore flag these people at the very start of their careers rather than at the end, once lives have irrevocably been damaged. We must not forget on many occasions that it will also include the devastation of the lives of immediate family and oved ones.

In policing, and I will go so far to say in many other organisations, we have for too long "passed the book" or put the problem into "the too difficult basket". "Difficult people" receive glowing reports to feather their nest and to assist them move on, away from their immediate sphere of influence. But here is the very real issue, the problem is all the time festering and growing, encompassing more and more good people and destroying the very fabric of an organisation. All the time more evidence and ammunition is being stored up carefully by the bully for future reference should they find themselves with their backs against the wall or a tight spot to manoeuvre out of.

The graphic now takes on a new perspective in terms of dealing with issues there and then in a timely fashion or, as we all too often tend to do, decide to push the issue onto other people in the organisation. A cycle of manipulation and inertia, compounded by poor leadership.

Is that a fault of poorly selected leadership or extremely clever manipulation of a broken system?

On Thursday afternoon I have the good fortune of discussing these issues, and solutions in policing with Jonathan Wilson LLB(Hons) BA(Hons) and Iain Donnelly , along with Nicki Eyre FRSA at this years United Against Workplace Bullying Conference. Come and listen or join in with the debate as many people think they are alone but actually it is an all too common and shared experience https://www.conductchange.co.uk/uawb-2022