Warm Handshakes.

One of the most important and fundamental ways humans communicate is through a warm handshake. It happens billions of times a day; yet we rarely think about how important a good handshake really is to connecting with others, or building trust. This simple act is one of the most powerful ways we initiate a conversation, learn, align, and get things done. It can quickly open the door to an interesting conversation, business deal, or important new personal relationship. How many handshakes have you made??What skills do you have? Like many others reading this, as a traveling salesperson with a few million miles under the belt wrapping around this small planet, I have shaken half-a-million or more hands over the last few decades. So many handshakes are warm and fantastic – and so many are really, really bad.

The handshake probably originated in prehistory to demonstrate a peaceful intent, or as a symbolic gesture of mutual commitment to an oath or promise; two hands clasping each other representing the sealing of a bond. They might have been shaking hands on Mount Hermon back in the earliest days??One of the first depictions can be found in antiquity with the 9th century Assyrian King Shalmaneser III shaking the hand of the Babylonian King Marduk-zakir-shumi to seal an alliance.?The epic poet Homer described handshakes as pledges of trust more than once in both his Illiad and Odyssey masterpieces. In Ancient Rome, the handshake was often a symbol of friendship and loyalty. Also, it was practical when you traveled the countryside and approached another person or group; you would both extend your hands and shake as you passed – so that you could pass with reasonable assurance that the other person didn’t have a nefarious agenda or hidden weapon. Today, handshakes are depicted in film and stories across cultures and all boundaries. It is as natural and ubiquitous as drinking a glass of water.

Human behavior is an interesting thing. We are all so quirky. A number of studies confirm what the etiquette books have been saying all along, that a firm handshake helps make a good first impression for both males and females. One study, in the?Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, a journal published by the American Psychological Association, found that there definitely is a relation between the features that characterize a firm handshake (strength, vigor, duration, eye contact and completeness of grip) and a favorable first impression. On a personal level, it seems that the majority of people struggle with a warm handshake. More and more don’t even want to shake hands because they are filled with so much fear? Some grip my hand as an indicator they want to wrestle or rumble!? Others grasp my fingers before our hands can intersect, lock and close??Yet others have limp-noodle handshakes that are simply odd. C'mon, life is rather short; put some energy and passion into your actions. Some are cold, sweaty hands. Some grasp and won't release - even when I try to pull-back and shake you off. Seriously, people. Slow and easy, allow the hands to comfortably connect, then slowly clasp the other hand in an appropriate, firm embrace. Warmly look the person in the eye and smile like they are the most important person on Planet Earth at that moment. Please, shake it 3-5 times like you are a dependable, trustworthy, intelligent, warm human being - and then slowly and smoothly let go. Might be a good thing to practice.

We have all shared a lot of interesting handshakes - and often they make a conscious or sub-conscious impression on our souls. It affects our energy. It impacts our conversation and outcomes. I have shaken the hands of so many people on every continent and each moment leaves its own memory and impression. Handshakes with countless everyday folks - from the Middle East desert to the shores of Asia. From Toronto to New York, and Denver to Seattle. CEOs and rank and file. Billionaires and homeless people. Astronauts and authors. A President and a Prime Minister. Notable and notorious executives. More than a few famous-types from here to there. Very interesting handshakes with Wayne Gretzky, Kobe Bryant, Mia Hamm, and John Elway at various places over the years. Some of the warmest, friendliest handshakes were with Lyle Lovett, Hilary Swank, Olivia Newton-John, Katie Couric, and Harrison Ford. All good, warm professional handshakes that made a lasting impression. We won't mention the really, really bad ones. You don't have to be famous to deliver a famous handshake. On the screen/off the screen, we are all warmer and more authentic in person when we demonstrate some solid handshaking skill. You don’t need an Academy Award to create the magic from a good, warm handshake. True story.