Want Your Coaching Business to Flourish? Choose Your Words Carefully

“We cannot control the way people interpret our ideas or thoughts, but we can control the words and tones we choose to convey them (…) Never underestimate the power of a single word, and never recklessly throw around words. One wrong word, or misinterpreted word, can change the meaning of an entire sentence and start a war. And one right word, or one kind word, can grant you the heavens and open doors.” — Suzy Kassem

I’m not sure you would start a war if you used the wrong words as a coach, but the right language can certainly open doors for you. It can lead to more clients, recognition as a professional, increased self-confidence, and more.

This article will highlight how your choice of words and overall use of language affects you, your clients, and your coaching business.

A relevant and attractive coaching offer

A coaching offer that sells is both relevant and attractive for your target customer. Relevant because it refers to a problem your ideal client is struggling with and attractive because it is positioned as a potential solution to that problem.

The words you use to construct a value proposition heavily influence the relevance and attractiveness of your coaching offer.

The use of language that is vague or generic might make your offer sound cliché:?I help women tap into an abundance mindset so that they can reach their full potential and thrive.

I am yet to meet a person who is petrified of not having reached their full potential and not many people think that the answer to their problem is tapping into an abundance mindset. Although it sounds good, this kind of language is unlikely to attract many clients.

Using words that your target audience uses to describe their problems and ideal outcomes will make your coaching offer more appealing to them. This is because they will be able to recognise themselves in it (relevance) and seek the result or solution it promises (attractiveness).

Relatable content

It might be tempting to insert complicated or lesser-known words into your content in the hope that they will offer added intellectual authority. They won’t. As?this study?from the University of Washington highlights

One of the most important functions of language is to build (…) a sense of commonality with one’s readers. Language which is foreign and unfamiliar to the reader tends to emphasize the differences between writer and reader, and makes the message difficult to understand. By using language that is familiar to the reader, the message is likely to have more impact.

Fancy language doesn’t do you or your content any favours, on the contrary. I recently received a message from someone inviting me to a?complementary?event. The pitch didn’t sound bad, but I was put off by their incorrect spelling of?complimentary. They could have just said?free?instead of trying to sound clever and achieving the opposite.

Powerful coaching sessions

If you’ve been coaching for a while, you know how important words are in a coaching conversation. Julie Starr, the author of The Coaching Manual, shares a powerful example of how our choice of words as coaches can affect rapport with the coachee.

COACH:?So, Jim, it’s been nearly a month hasn’t it? How have you been?

JIM:?Well, okay I guess. I’ve kinda been feeling a little low though, a bit under the weather as they say.

COACH:?Ah, sorry to hear you’ve been miserable, that’s not great.

JIM:?Oh I’m not miserable. I just said a little low — it’s not that bad!

As a coach, you’re now in a mild recovery situation early in the session — not a great start. This could have been avoided by repeating the key words the coachee used: ‘a little low’ or ‘under the weather’. —?The Coaching Manual, 2016, pp. 59–60.

We are also taught the importance of choosing our words wisely when we ask coaching questions. Using the word?why?implies that the client is asked to justify themselves and their actions which can trigger a defensive response. Replacing ‘why did you do that?’ with ‘what prompted that reaction?’ is likely to lead to a less defensive and more insightful answer from the client.

Money talk

How do you talk about money? Maybe I should have asked a different question: Do you talk about money at all? Most coaches I know avoid the subject like the plague. They got into coaching to help people transform their lives and charging money for it somehow doesn’t feel right. It taints the entire coaching experience and conflicts with the concept of helping someone.

I’ve worked with enough coaches to recognise the ones who think along these lines simply by observing their language. They say things like:

• I have had the?luxury?of being coached.
• I want my services to be?affordable.
• I’m not looking to?profit?from coaching — it’s not about the money for me.

On the surface, there is nothing wrong with these statements. Some might even sound noble.?However, if these coaches believe coaching is a luxury only a few privileged can afford and charging a decent price for their services means taking advantage of potential clients, this becomes their truth.

They constantly worry that their prices are too high and conversations with potential clients feel uncomfortable, as if they’re pushing them to purchase something they can’t afford and don’t want to buy. Even after lowering their prices to the equivalent of a bottle of gin per coaching session, clients are still not interested in buying. That’s when most?coaches contemplate throwing in the towel.

Self-talk

You knew this was coming. How you talk to yourself and the specific words you use to describe your work, the value you offer for clients, the coaching industry, etc. will greatly impact your self-confidence and the results you see in your business.

It takes a while to uncover these words because most of the time we don’t say them out loud. But we think them. And our brains are listening and making notes.

Before I devised?a system for productively running my business, I reached a point of burnout. I had so much on my plate and not enough time to do it all. Or that’s what I was telling myself. I constantly thought about how busy I was and how little time I had available until that became my reality.

Once I decided something had to change, I made an intentional effort to replace ‘I don’t have time’ and ‘I am busy’ with ‘I choose to spend my time differently’ and ‘this is not a priority for me’.

What are you whispering to yourself? It will soon become a reality in your life and business if it hasn’t already.

Words matter. They can attract clients or push them away. They can clarify or confuse, soothe or sting. Paying attention to the language we use with others and with ourselves pays off, literally. Word!

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This article was originally published on Medium.com.

This work represents the intellectual property of Alisa Barcan and cannot be copied or reproduced without the owner’s permission. All rights reserved ?.?