Want Your Client to Fire You? Just Do Them a Favor.

Over the past year-and-a-half, we are slowly shrinking our business in of our top ten clients. While we are not completely fired, we are a grape becoming a raisin not a wine.

My teams and organization have devoted more time and energy to this account than any other, so the rejection and loss stings. It's personal. It has spawned a number of conversations, and most dangerously, the internal dialogues I have with myself. (sidenote - they say talking to yourself is a sign of genius unless it is too much, then a sign of mental problems - what quantifies as too much?)The what ifs. The should haves. The do-overs.

The result of the inward look at our organization yielded a number of contributing factors, and I'm sure another dozen unknown factors, but when you strip everything away, I realized there is one primary driver. A catalyst. And that catalyst is a gift that I want to share with you so you can avoid the same pitfalls.

That one thing is:

A favor.

According to Webster's Dictionary, a favor is:

a : gracious kindness;  also : an act of such kindness

But not just any favor: a NEGOTIATION POSING AS A FAVOR.

Once this epiphany hit, it was easy to see this recurring theme in our business. And time after time it continues to be the number one factor for our dissatisfied clients.

What I learned from this client and others is the critical difference between the corporate and personal world, and what happens when you don't shift your perspective in each world. I want to share the sinister side of favors as well as the Zeper Rule of Favors, which you can use to determine if it is a FAVOR or a NEGOTIATION IN DISGUISE.

Aren't Favors Good for Relationships?

You're probably wondering how a favor can help you lose a client. Aren't people more likely to like people that do something for them? Can't doing a favor leave someone else owing you something? You scratch my back and I'll scratch yours.

There is absolute truth to this and this truth is backed by science. Some must-read content includes reciprocity for persuasion by Robert Cialdini, and the Ben Franklin favor technique - which can be very useful - it says getting someone to perform a favor for you, gets that person to like you more.

But the biggest difference is the science on favors exists in the context of person to person favors, not business to business, or person to business. The power of a favor goes out the proverbial window when it is between two companies.

A favor is kindness. An entity cannot in itself be kind, a person can be kind. So, really, only individuals within a company can be kind and that bond remains between the individuals. When we speak of a company or an employee, we need to ensure the distinction, which means we must examine the actual words.

What's in a Pronoun

Let's look at the actual language in guiding our understanding. Pronouns are vague. They are a replacement for a specific noun and become used and interpreted by different people in different ways, hence the word "interpreted".

Remember when you didn't want to let your girlfriend know that you were talking to another girl and so you used "they" instead. As in, "then THEY asked if I wanted to leave work and go for a quick walk." When your girlfriend asked who "they", you became tongue-tied and realized the fragility of a pronoun.

That same principle applies in the corporate world.

When someone at a company uses "I" or "we", it is imperative to understand if that person referring to himself as the individual or speaking on behalf of the entity. Determining who exactly is the "I" or "we" is key to avoiding the pitfalls associated with corporate favors.

How Do I Distinguish the Difference?

There are four keys request that you must be able to identify. Two of these requests are saboteurs posing as favors, and two are actual favors, with one of those two being a landmine. Learning to recognize each request will allow you to distinguish the difference and take the appropriate course of action.

1. A Request to Adjust Service Levels or Price
2. A Request to Ignore/Adapt a Policy/Procedure
3. A Corporate Favor Versus a Personal Favor

A Negotiation Posing as a Favor

A few years back this client had one of their longstanding services deals in jeopardy. It was in jeopardy because the structure of the deal could not stand unassisted on the economic foundation. In other words, the structure didn't meet code and any large gust of wind would imperil the building.

They (see that pronoun) approached us and asked if we would keep the building up as best as possible recognizing that the end user did not have the funds for a solid foundation. When we balked, knowing the ability to deliver what was needed in the defined manner for the defined budget was difficult at best, and most likely extremely challenging, we were asked to do it in the spirit of our relationship.

In fact, the Vice President of the organization even placed a call to our Executive team asking if we would do this as a favor.

Danger! Danger! Being asked to perform less than your best work is a compromise to your product, your brand, and your reputation. Even when it is mutually agreed that there will be a reduction in service level and recognition of the difficulty, you are positioning yourself and your company for a poor outcome.

This was really a negotiation posing as a favor. This was asking for us to reduce our service to a lesser version. It is not what we do or who we are, so it is really a negotiation tactic: Asking for something less than offered, a reduction in product or service or price. This is not asking for kindness, this is asking to change terms.

What I see happen in this case and repeated dozens of times since is when you sacrifice some component of your product or service, you are sacrificing your quality and reputation.

The Damage

The resulting effect is your performance or product that has been mutually downgraded is still measured on the same scale as your previous products, creating a perception that your quality has diminished.

Because this is between two companies, you will have numerous stakeholders or communication points and not all individuals will be aware of the negotiation or understanding. Or worse, there are metrics associated with your overall relationship and the agreement to help out in the vein of reducing service level will manifest as declining performance. The objective statistics indicate you are failing or no longer executing at the same level.

Bottom line: you are risking your reputation and other business for a situation in which your best case output is designed to be less than your normal standard.

The end result of too many of these or the wrong "favor" turning out with the wrong results is getting fired.

Now ask yourself: Is it worth it?

My Advice

Recognize when a client is asking you to negotiate down your quality and reframe the favor back in a way that illustrates this is a negotiation, not an act of kindness and is NOT possible for you to accommodate.

A Request to Ignore/Adapt a Policy/Procedure

Similar to a negotiation, you will often be asked to ignore or adapt a policy as a favor.

I know you have a policy that you need 5 days notice before you start an onsite project, but we really need a Rabbit out of a Hat

A rabbit out of a hat. Whenever I hear those words, I cringe. My mind forms an image of a mustached D-level magician in a cloak performing the stereotypical tricks that only amuse at a 5-year-old's birthday party. I want to say, call Melvin the Magician.

Where was I? Oh yeah, receiving the call to perform a favor, of either starting a project without a PO because the client could not get their team to process the paperwork fast enough, or someone is out of the office and we just need to start the project, or the client has a firm deadline to get a project finished, but delayed the decision process and it is now an emergency.

This again is not asking you to be kind, but asking you to change your best practices or your defined policies to meet someone else's agendas or priorities.

Why do we have defined policies and procedures? To mitigate risk, to create a standard client experience, to ensure the best quality, and to eliminate issues in the future.

What happens when you ignore these policies? Quality diminishes, the client experience sinks lower than Trump's approval ratings, and your personal and your company image degrades.

Why Clients Continually Ask for This

Being in the services industry, we are constantly encountering clients who for one reason or another have delays and turn to us, the service provider, to try and compensate for the lack of execution somewhere else in the value chain.

Clients are stuck. They are behind, Things happen. You, as the service provider, us as the service provider, are the ultimate last stop. Panic sets in. Deadlines loom. Emotions run high. This is the point of desperation. When you are are the final step in the value chain, people come to you to save the day. You are the last bastion of salvation.

This is a dangerous place to be. Refuse and you appear rigid, or a poor partner. Accommodate and risk your reputation.

Let's look at the two outcomes when a client approaches you to save the day by violating a previously agreed upon term or condition or asks you to suspend your normal processes.

1. You agree. The service turns out well. For 10 minutes you will receive a ticker tape parade. Once the confetti is cleaned up, everyone goes back to their normal habits, and your heroics are rarely recognized. Unless another "save the day" opportunity arises, and then everyone remembers you. Great. You get to roll the dice again and hopefully deliver well again. Most likely you will move into the second outcome sooner rather than later. (note: if your business or service is emergency delivery and that is your normal course of business - please ignore this, as your policies and procedures are probably built to excel. We have part of our business built around this and execute daily in this mode. Which is one reason we have been susceptible to accommodating favors in our other portions of the business).
2. You agree and the service is mediocre or worse. If you have previously delivered for the client, they will want to know why it did not live up to your standards, even if and when you set the proper expectations up front. Memories of agreements under stressful times are short, memories or warning in these times, even shorter. If you have not previously delivered, this is now your standard baseline that epitomizes your service. Do you want a new client to measure you on your worst day? I don't think so. Additionally, other individuals in the company or industry may hear about the performance and form opinions of your organization. You risk your reputation even beyond those directly involved.

Neither of these outcomes is ideal. In one, you are perceived as a loser. And in the other, you get the adulation for a moment and the only reward, additional losing propositions. And as any gambler will tell you, losing propositions are the quick road to ruin.

But you cannot blame your client for asking. That is their right and their responsibility.

The end result of too many of these or the wrong "favor" turning out with the wrong results is getting fired. Is it worth it?

How to Avoid Compromising Your Policies and Procedures

So what should you do?

Politely decline. Reference any previous discussions about what happens next in a normal service. Remind the client of the time and place of the conversation. Take them to that place emotionally and physically (hopefully, you did that as a best practice during the sales process - if not - ADD IT)

Walk the client through the reasons you have a great standing in the industry, why you are successful, how it is predicated upon mitigating risk and controlling the deliverables as a practice.

Finally, ask the client to step into your shoes. Repeat the situation. Highlight the outcomes that come from the choices. And ask them what they would do.

A Corporate Favor Versus a Personal Favor

One final aspect of favors and their effectiveness in relationships and persuasion is considering who is asking and who is performing.

In our everyday life, we do favors for other individuals all the time. They may be for our kids, our spouses, our neighbor, strangers. We do that as an agent for ourselves or our family. We really do those out of kindness. Now there may be some good feeling we get personally, so you could argue that is self-serving. But favors are done to help others, to show that others are appreciated, or to share something that you can do for the benefit of another.

There are absolute benefits you get from that - mentioned earlier on persuasion - and there are emotional benefits as well. But it is very apparent who is providing the favor and who is receiving the favor.

When you start to perform favors in a corporate or business environment, the concept of who is performing and who is benefitting becomes blurred.

As an example, when a project manager agrees with a client to start the project before a proper kick-off call for the sake of timing and the difficulty in getting all the stakeholders together at once, does this qualify as a favor? Is it the project manager who is doing it? Is she speaking for the entire company? Is she only representing the Project Management team?

And the client who asked? Is that the individual asking? Is it on behalf of the client's company? Or just the direct project team?

And when the favor is performed, does the PM document the favor and the risks? And if she did, does the client share that with all the stakeholders? Or does it become based on convenience?

And when one of the individuals leaves the company or moves to a new project or a new team, is the list of favors performed part of the transition plan? With individuals you know who went out of their way, who performed acts of grace. With companies, there may be a component of that, but it is minimal.

Finally, companies do not have emotions, individuals have emotions.

Perform favors to individuals out of kindness. If you form a bond with someone at a company and want to do something in grace, do it. But do it individually. If you see a rare Bruce Lee poster and the other person is the biggest fan, buy the poster and send it to him.

In Summary - The Rule to Follow

Don't imperil corporate relationships by performing favors.

When in doubt, exert the Zeper Question of Favor:

Is the person asking for something that benefits them personally outside of work and is something you do as a person outside of work?

• If the answer is Yes - it's a favor.
• If the answer is No - it's a negotiation.

As Carlito says in Carlito's Way:

Favor gonna kill you faster than a bullet.

While it may not kill you, it will get you fired, just the same.