Want more positive client interactions? Here are my three tricks.

In September, I conducted an in-person workshop with a team at a small PR company. Most of the team members were hired during the pandemic, are fairly early in their careers, and are now figuring out how to juggle the intense demands of client-facing work.

My purpose during the workshop was to help team members figure out what a “consultative” mindset looks like when working with clients. To help them change interactions that felt like power plays into something more positive…and effective.

A consultative mindset is a beautiful thing, because it allows you to accommodate clients and meet their objectives?without?feeling like you are constantly at the whim of their demands, especially if those demands are unreasonable, go back and forth, or are communicated to you in a way that feels harsh or abrasive (aka a client is yelling at you—ugh).

The takeaways from that workshop can apply to every industry, not just PR—so I want to share them with you today. We had a really fun time talking about these concepts.

My three tips for positive and productive interactions with clients:

1. While it’s important to know your communication style, it’s?more?important to be able to “diagnose” the communication styles of others.

I talk about knowing your default communication style a?lot. Like, a ton. I write emails about it all the time, and most of my clients take the DiSC assessment very early on in our work together because knowing how you communicate is?very, very important.

But when you’re navigating interpersonal relationships with colleagues, clients, and other stakeholders, you can’t just be a pro on your own communication style. You need to be able to get a pulse on the communication styles of the people you’re working with…and flex?your?communication style towards them. If you want to have a consultative approach, that’s key.

And yeah…you?have to do the work to flex, not them. But the idea is that this flexing will allow you to achieve your goal more quickly, smoothly, and harmoniously.

(If you want others to do the work to flex towards?you, have them call me. Ha!)

2. Use that Mona Lisa smile.

Look…resting bitch face (RBF)?is?real. If you’re someone who has been slapped with the RBF label, first of all, I’m sorry! I’m telling you right now—I?know you’re not being bitchy, and that is just your natural expression when you are thinking, listening, or concentrating.

But I’ll also tell you, if you have RBF, people probably do assume something about you that is not true. Inferences are powerful and we tend to believe what we infer, mistakenly or not!

And if you tend to have RBF, it can certainly make communications with clients more difficult. It can lead to misunderstandings and lack of trust, both of which make your job harder.

Fortunately, there is a very easy solution to RBF. It’s called a Mona Lisa smile. All it is is a half smile—just the corners of your mouth are upturned, rather than downturned. Try it now. See? Not hard, not a heck of a lot of effort, and you’ll be surprised how quickly it feels natural.

It might seem silly—like, does this REALLY make a difference? It does, my friends,?it does. I don’t like that we have to combat unfair assumptions any more than you, but I promise that this tool is useful.

3. Take a pause if things get heated.

It’s never fun to be yelled at by a client. Or anyone, for that matter! It gets my heart rate up just thinking about it, honestly. In the workshop I led, lots of team members shared that they got a little bit scared when being yelled at by a client—understandably so!

Obviously, it would be best if clients always communicated in a mature fashion, but unfortunately that doesn’t always happen. Which is why it’s good to be prepared, and to know exactly what you’ll do if you end up in a situation that feels uncomfortable and stressful.

Because when someone is yelling, or speaking harshly, or putting you on the spot, it’s pretty normal to go into fight, flight, or freeze.

But there is another option, and it’s easy. You can simply?pause.

Pausing gives you a moment to think. It also gives you a moment to recognize all of the anxiety going on in your head, and to give yourself a moment of self-regulation.

My favorite trick here is to take a sip of cold water. That pause, coupled with the temperature of the water, can really snap you out of a stress spiral and give you some clarity. It grounds you in a moment when you really need it.

Wouldn’t it be nice if every client interaction felt easy? I hope these tricks help grease the wheels for client communication that feels more difficult or loaded, and I’d LOVE to know the tricks you’ve already been using.?