Want to Live Happier and Healthier? Break Up with Fake

I’m 45 and I finally get life.

I’ve earned my wisdom because of those things I hate to admit.

I’ve been divorced. I have more professional credentials than I actually need, the result of that nagging tug inside that I needed to prove my worth. I have had clients think I’m annoying and colleagues think I am too direct. I have been laid off. I have received a performance rating well below what I deserved. I have secretly wanted to be told I’m the best employee so I could be validated. I have been told I try too hard, and they were right.?

Yes – confessions of an honest woman.

So back to finally “getting” life. It’s very simple.

Ready for it?

If you surround yourself with people who align with your values, lift you up, inspire you, accept you for who you are, communicate in a transparent way, and make you somehow a better person…. Life is simple and joyful. Be this kind of person, and choose this kind of person.

If you surround yourself with anything of the contrary, well….that is when we feel the winds of resistance in life or that the air gets sucked out of the room.

I do not envy sales professionals who have high sales targets to meet, because they have no choice but to seek abundance and quantity – possibly taking their eye completely away from what is most important. And then, they inevitably live in a hamster wheel of acquiring clients to meet a quota. That is why so many sales people either burn out or don’t like people anymore!?Or worse, they no longer appreciate them as people but only as a potential commission.?

Being in an organization where I do not have sales goals really makes one think. We actually get to choose how many clients we take on and who we want to work with. There are no rules or restrictions or expectations. Just choose.

So, essentially, I can choose to chase any client I can, or I can attract and seek out those clients who are ‘my people’. The clients who make me happy to be around versus the old “work for money” mentality.?

Being in health insurance is daunting on some days. Dealing with large insurance carriers, payroll vendors, HSA vendors, Cobra vendors, and everything in between….. where literally every touch-point is an opportunity for administrative glitches that can cause wild goose chases to solve for … can be exhausting to say the least. Please call a doctor, because anyone’s head can explode on any given day dealing with insurance. There’s a reason they say the system is broken.?

So why do I wake up happy? Because when I seek out clients, I am discerning about why I want to be in that relationship. When I work with vendor partners, I build a trusting and authentic relationship so we can best help our clients.

I ask:

Do we have the same values?

Do we seek to understand the team’s strengths and weaknesses and execute as a team?

Are we authentic?

Do we truly care about people and outcomes?

Are we strategic and focused on the big things?

Are we all committed to doing good work?

Will we remain human?

Will we remain committed?

Do we communicate in a healthy and caring way?

Are we curious versus non-judgmental?

Do we look forward to working together?

And on the contrary, when do you know you’re in a relationship with a client (or anyone really) that isn’t healthy? This is what I ask:

Do we want to blame when something goes wrong?

Do we threaten to leave?

Do we downplay the strengths and harp on the weaknesses?

Do we walk on eggshells?

Are we demanding?

Do we communicate in a toxic way?

Are we focused on ego/being right?

Are we judgmental?

Do we cringe about having to work together?

My advice? Choose wisely regardless of what role you have or what company you work for. You have one life to life, and none of us can take the money with us. Enjoy those you choose to work with, whether that be a client, a vendor partner, a colleague, a boss, etc. ….and you will never "really" work a day in your life. Maybe not "really" working a day in your life is the best unemployment there is – it's JOY.?