Want to Be Happy? Do These Five Things Every Day

Want to know the secret to happiness? Here it is: Make sure that every day you engage in five positive human interactions for every one negative interaction.

That’s it. Start counting. Send five emails to people complimenting them. Or walk to five people in your office and tell them you’re impressed with their work, or think they’re great co-workers, or have a great attitude about life.

This is math. It’s easy. And it’s true, according to the authors Tom Rath, a leading business thinker, and Donald Clifton, an author who collaborated to write a book called “How Full Is Your Bucket?"

The bucket concept is about filling up other peoples’ buckets by complimenting them or lifting their spirits in some upbeat way. You, in turn, will be more likely to get your bucket filled up. And of course, you would like that. You will feel better rocking your bucket packed with positive feedback and emotions.

Criticize five people and you will get five negative reactions

This sounds so simplistic. Don’t be skeptical. Don’t be a cynic – unless you enjoy being negative and a downer and unpleasant to be around. Embrace this truth.

This theory makes sense in this sense. If you criticize five people today and compliment one, you’re more likely to have five people upset with you, which won’t fill up your bucket much – except maybe with vitriol, worry, and regret. Perhaps you will create for yourself a narrowed and less fun social life. Who wants that?

We over-complicate our existences. They don’t have to be. Just do this today: five compliments, or five positive interactions, or five upbeat conversations, or some combination that adds up to five. And limit the bad stuff to one a day.

Give unexpectedly

Think that’s an easy concept? Take in this one: Give to someone today unexpectedly. Write your wife or husband a nice note. Get them flowers. Not on a holiday. On some random day when they’re not anticipating anything from you. This act of kindness will fly high.

65 percent of Americans receive no recognition for good work

People are starving to be recognized. They want to be told they’re doing a good job at work. But they’re not being told that nearly often enough. The book reveals that 65 percent of Americans receive no recognition for good work in the workplace.

Think of how unfulfilling their days are. They go to work, try their best, throw their heart into something, really care about making a contribution, and no one says a positive think to them about it. It’s as if they don’t exist. They’re not important. Whatever they’re doing doesn’t matter. Evidently nobody cares.

They feel lousy, their lives reek of pointlessness.

“We have yet to find anyone who reports suffering from overrecognition,” the authors write. “No wonder so many employees are disengaged. Although we need and want recognition and praise, the fact is, we don’t get enough – and organizations suffer for it.”

I don’t buy the notion that business is serious, and people are professionals and they should not need to be complimented and told they’re valuable and appreciated. There’s no time for that, conventional wisdom seems to be. Just get the job done and stop being so needy. Hit the sales numbers. And be quiet.

That’s unwise and unpleasant. People – yes including adults -- have emotional needs. They want to feel what they do means something. Tell them that. Stop this posture of “this is business, and this is the adult world and just be quiet and be grateful you’re getting a paycheck. You shouldn’t have to be complimented. Grow up.”

No. Wrong. That’s not going to make people happy.

Listen up, bosses, co-workers, everybody in the workplace: Tell people they’re doing a good job every day, constantly.

It’s not that hard. Payoffs will be bountiful.

You will have more happy workers. And that will make them more productive. Everybody wins.

"Positive emotions are an essential daily requirement for survival,” the authors write. “Not only do they improve your physical and mental health, but they can also provide a buffer against depression and illness.”