Want to Grow and Reach Your Goals?

We all face setbacks at some point or another. The true test comes in how we handle them. I’ve been thinking about Sgt. Earl Plumlee, who received the U.S. Medal of Honor last year as part of the 1st?Special Forces Group in Afghanistan. From the?citation:?

“While deployed to Afghanistan, then-Staff Sergeant Plumlee instantly responded to a complex enemy attack that began with a massive explosion that tore a sixty-foot breach in the base’s perimeter wall. Ten insurgents wearing Afghan National Army uniforms and suicide vests poured through the breach.”

Defending the base, Plumlee jumped in a vehicle and raced toward the detonation. As the vehicles came under heavy fire, he used his body to shield the driver.?

Then, when an insurgent detonated a suicide vest, he ran toward the wounded “with complete disregard for his own safety…and rendered first aid.”?

It’s an incredible example of running?toward?rather than trying to escape?from?resistance to pursue what you value most.

What resistance could you run toward to pursue what you value most?

Sometimes resistance is dramatic, obvious, and happens?to you. You get rejected. You suffer a loss. The effort fails. We can make the choice to run toward these types of resistance to grow and learn.?

Other kinds of resistance aren’t always as easy to spot. In fact, more frequently, resistance comes in the form of an internal B.L.A.S.T. You might feel intensely:

• Bored. Maybe you’re challenged by a lack of excitement. You’re not doing what you want to be doing, or you’re waiting, or you’re in a period of repetition.?
• Lonely. Perhaps you feel distant or lacking close connections. You’re isolated, on an “island,” because others aren’t around, they aren’t helping you, or they don’t see things the way you do.
• Angry. It’s possible you’re upset. You’re angry at your leader, your company, someone you live with, another team, your circumstances, the “system,” or perceived injustice.
• Stressed. Maybe you’re overwhelmed or overworked. What’s being demanded of you seems beyond your capacity or your control.?
• Tired. Perhaps you’re simply run down, lacking energy, lacking the will or ability to give more.

Each of these daily breaches invites one of two options: We can run?toward?it or escape?from?it.

The Arduous Work of Growth And Goal-attainment

I’ve been asking myself when I experience a B.L.A.S.T.: Will I try to escape from or run toward this feeling?

My escapes when I’m feeling a B.L.A.S.T. are things like:

• Scrolling my phone
• Working beyond my limits (it’s weird how work can sometimes be an escape)
• Eating unhealthy food
• Seeking attention from others

You know your escapes. They allow you to avoid dealing with the B.L.A.S.T. head on. But they prevent you from growing and attaining your goals.

Facing the B.L.A.S.T. means doing something?arduous. Isn’t that a great word?

When you’re bored, the?arduous?work may be continuing to do the repetitive activities that will likely lead to results. Or the?arduous?work might be doing something more creative.

When you’re lonely, the?arduous?work could be outreach, collaboration, or having a hard conversation.

If you’re angry, the?arduous?work could be processing your anger with someone you trust or sorting out what’s making you upset.

Stressed? Do the?arduous?work of planning, delegation…or just suck it up and get through it.

Tired? Put your phone down, eat a good meal, go to bed on time, make time for yourself. (When you’re tired, making good choices feels?arduous.)

You get the idea. Arduous doesn’t mean “more work.” It means doing what really needs to be done to limit the damage from the B.L.A.S.T. and pursue what matters most.

Life’s tough but you can be tougher. Whether you have dramatic resistance or just a daily feeling from a B.L.A.S.T., do the arduous work of running toward it rather than trying to escape from it.

Where are you trying to escape, and how could you do the arduous work that leads to growth and goals?

Patterns are Inevitable. Growth is Optional. Check out my award-winning book Four Patterns of Healthy People to become more aware of the healthy and unhealthy patterns in your thoughts, relationships, ego, and daily operations.

Analyze Your Opportunities for Growth.?Join other leaders and discover how well you are leveraging your strengths and opportunities. It’s a free tool for your self-awareness. Just click here.

About the Author. Matt Norman coaches and advises executives on how to build great people and culture. He is President & CEO of Norman & Associates, which offers custom coaching and consulting in the areas of talent strategy, personal effectiveness, planning, and goal alignment. Norman & Associates also provides Dale Carnegie cohort-style action learning programs to help people improve how they communicate, lead, influence, and work together.

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