Want to get fat? Here's how.

I know it’s a bit unusual to find a “how to” article focusing on adding fat to the body. After all, we already know how to do that given that a helluva lot of people are overweight—2/3 of Americans are overweight and 1/3 are clinically obese. You might say that we've already mastered this topic, but I challenge that assumption. Even though we Americans are overweight and obese as a nation, I think very few people are aware of how they actually got there. In other words . . . we’re living with the effects of the How To Get Fat Plan every day, yet we’re really not cognizant of the causes. So I’d like to present the topic of weight loss in a different way: If I offered you $10 million to add 100 pounds of body fat in less than a year, how could you do that?

Step 1. Slow Your Metabolism. The very first thing you’ve got to do is slow your metabolism so you’ll burn fewer calories when you’re at rest. That way, even if you don’t increase the amount of food you eat, you’ll automatically add weight. The easiest way to slow your metabolism is to stop all forms of exercise. Avoid walking. Spend a lot of time in front of the TV. Take elevators instead of stairs. Find parking spaces as close as possible to the stores where you shop so you don’t spend time walking across the parking lot. And, of course, purchase one of those electric scooters so you can get around without having to walk at all.

Step 2. Drink Lots of Soda. If your efforts to gain weight, get yourself addicted to caffeinated soda, drinking it at every possible opportunity, including breakfast. This is a great way to pack on the pounds because soda and other soft drinks are made with high-fructose corn syrup. This ingredient spikes the blood sugar in your body, sends an emergency signal to your pancreas, which produces increased levels of insulin in order to keep the blood sugar levels from going too high. The cells in your body then remove blood sugar from your bloodstream, and through a complex biological process involving the liver, manages to store that blood sugar as body fat. Yay!

Step 3. Choose High Caloric Density Foods. Raw, uncooked fruits and veggies will fill you up before you get very many calories into your meal. For example, it’s very difficult to eat 1,000 calories of apples at one sitting because your stomach will simply fill up before you reach 1,000 calories. So, you want to stay away from that stuff as much as you can. Instead, make sure you only purchase foods with a very high caloric density (large number of calories in a small weight of food). . . meaning, if you choose processed foods with ingredients such as white flour, hydrogenated oils or saturated fats, and sugar, you can pack in 2,000 calories in one sitting without ever feeling full. It’s very important to eat these kinds of foods at every meal. You want to make sure your diet consists of things like cheese, fried foods and lots of white bread. Pizza is an outstanding choice because it not only has a high caloric density from the cheese, but it also has the high glycemic index that accompanies the white flour crust. Lots of sugary breakfast cereals with high-fat cow’s milk is also an excellent choice. This will give you saturated fat from the milk and the high sugar content of the cereal, so you can get fat to your body through two different biological mechanisms: fat and refined carbohydrates.

Step 4. Load Up on Junk Foods. This is of course another outstanding choice. A bag of potato chips provides an impressive quantity of dietary fats as well as refined carbohydrates. You can also have fried foods. They have a very high caloric density, and the batter in which these foods are fried is normally made with white flour so you also get the high glycemic index effects from the carbohydrates in the batter as well as the high caloric density of the fried fats.

Step 5. Eat in Fast Food Restaurants Frequently. If you had to choose an ideal source for the combination of food ingredients that would rapidly accelerate your quest for obesity, you’d have to put fast food restaurants at the top of the list. The more popular the fast food chain, the faster their food packs on the body fat. (Maybe that’s what the “fast” in “fast food” really means, eh?) Eat in these restaurants at least once a day, and be sure to order the largest quantities of soda, fries and hamburgers because it’s quantity that counts. You can consume 2,000 calories ore more in a single meal!! Actually, you can get that $10 million quicker if you eat three meals a day at a fast food restaurant.

Of course, by the time you actually win the $10 million you’ll have suffered the devastating health effects of consuming these processed foods, junk foods and fast foods. You may be $10 million richer, but if you don’t reverse everything you've done over the last few months you will soon learn the truth . . . that you can’t take it with you.

Fortunately, reversing your weight 'achievement' is fairly straightforward: Do the opposite of everything you've done so far. Start exercising, increase your lean body mass by engaging in strength training. Spend time walking, swimming or cycling. Find ways to move your body at work. Avoid processed foods and foods made with high-fructose corn syrup, white flour, refined white sugar and other refined carbohydrates. Remove soda and other soft drinks from your diet, avoid fried foods and junk foods. Once you do all that, your liver function will begin to improve rapidly. The hardening of your arteries will begin to reverse. Your cardiovascular health will improve dramatically. Your brain function will even improve. Your level of energy and vitality will gradually rise. You will find it easier to sleep at night and get up in the morning. You won’t get sick as often, and you’ll find that your immune system begins to function the way it’s supposed to in a healthy human being. And, oh yeah . . . your body fat will slowly begin to melt off. 

If this conversation about how to add fat to your body sounds crazy, that’s because it is. What’s even crazier is that half the population in America is on How to Get Fat Plan right now, and they’re doing it for free! How’s that for nuts?

Now let’s get serious about what all this means.

You've got to acknowledge and accept that we all have a great deal of power to control our own health outcome. There is a recipe for gaining weight and being diseased, just as there is a recipe for losing weight and being free of disease. You can choose to follow whichever recipe you want, and you will get exactly the results of the recipe you choose. So if you’re standing on a path right now, and it’s not the path you want to be on in terms of your own health, stop walking down that path, take a look around and find a new path. It’s not going to change your health overnight, but if you keep putting one foot in front of the other, day after day, you can end up on a completely different path than where you started. Don’t walk blindly, leaving your health to chance. If you open your eyes so that you actually see where you’re walking, you can see what kind of result you want to achieve, move towards it steadily, with determination, and ultimately experience it each and every day for the rest of your life.

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Thanks for sharing on LinkedIn, Twitter and Facebook. ~ Lori

Click here to listen to the podcast.

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I am passionate about helping my clients become slim and healthy. I write and release weekly blogs and Fat Chat? podcasts to educate and motivate on all issues related to #weightloss, #obesity, #healthandwellness, diet and lifestyle.

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