Want to do more hard things this year? Read on.
Lauren Hodges, Ed. D.
Author - Speaker - Award Winning Learning Designer - Owner of Performance on Purpose, LLC
Happy New Year, friends! I hope your holidays were a time of rest, reset, and reflection (and, if they weren't - as is the case for so many - I hope you navigated your way through with as much peace as possible).?
This month, I want to talk to you about your goals (intentions, new year's resolutions, etc…whatever you're calling them). Whether your goal was physical, mental, emotional, spiritual, or some sort of professional goal, it's important to think about what happens after you set a goal and how to actually see it through.
Truly, the hard work starts when we consider the how of achieving our goals.?
So, (to borrow the phrase from the amazing Glennon Doyle in her book Untamed ) how do we do hard things?
Grab a pen and paper, your favorite beverage, and let's take a brief look at a few considerations from the human performance, resilience, and neuroresilience fields. Use these to plan out your next steps and tackle those 2024 goals.
To do hard things, we need to be connected to our values.
This one is more obvious and I've mentioned it before, but you need to make sure your goals are tied to something bigger.?
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If you work in the corporate world, you know that all next steps from a business perspective must be tied to the larger business strategy, right? In the same vein, our goals have to be connected to our larger purpose and what's most important to us. What is that for you: a feeling? (I want to feel more joy). A person? (I'm doing this for my kids). A long-term vision? (I want to be chronic-disease free; I want to be able to play on the floor with my grandkids).
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Take a moment to reconnect with your "why" and your values before moving on.
To do hard things, we need to start small.
Choosing big, wonderful, long-term goals is exactly what we should be doing - creating powerful long-range visions for our future selves. But we need to break down those goals into small, “too small to fail” actions. Can you look at your goals and choose 1-2 tiny steps forward that you know won't fail? When these goals feel like second nature, choose another few that advance you forward.
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Let's use two examples:?
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Example #1: If you want to get stronger, you wouldn't hit the gym to strength train under high load 5 days a week to start, right? Consider starting with one 30 minute session per week focused on body weight.
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Example #2: If you want to learn how to speak in front of a large audience without feeling anxious, you wouldn't sign up for a TedTalk, right? Maybe you'd start by signing up to lead your next team's quarterly review meeting, or speak in front of two of your closest friends.
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Next, tell me 1-2 “too small to fail” (seriously) rituals you can tack to each goal.
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To do hard things, we need just the right amount of stress.
In order for growth to be possible, we need to choose goals that put us under a little bit of distress (challenge), but not too much. Think about this: to support growth, you need to train under just enough stress (aka, allostatic load). So, choose rituals that are:
How can you ensure your rituals are not just too small to fail but not too hard, not too easy, something you can control, and something you know is coming? Back to our examples:
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#1 Strength training goal: Avoid training too heavy the first few weeks (keeping it moderate), focus on movements you know or can easily learn in a gym you feel safe and supported in (controllable), and choose days and times that are easily doable and consistent (ex. Mondays at 6 AM).
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#2 Public speaking goal: Choose a speaking venue that feels small and intimate enough; identify people you're comfortable speaking in front of to start (like a Toastmasters group, or a group of friends), and material you are comfortable with delivering to start.
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So with that in mind, how can you plug your small actions into this environment?
To do hard things, we need to follow through.
This last one is just something to think about: recent research has found that when we don't follow through on our intended goals, it changes the brain the same way that new neural pathways are formed and strengthened through repeated practice.
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Neuroscience research has found that our brain leaves neural “gaps ” in unfinished pathways when we don't follow through or complete tasks, challenges, or goals we set out to complete. This is especially evident in children, or as adults when we grow up not following through on tasks, or being raised to avoid challenge or trying things that challenge us.
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So, all the more important that when we set a goal, we see it through…and that's why it's so very important to we choose small, values-anchored actions that are moderate, predictable, and within our control.?
Final thoughts.
Spending a few minutes journaling through these considerations. Create a plan that feels doable. With more intention, you'll have a much higher likelihood of achieving your goals. Best of luck!
- Lauren
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