Want To Change Your Life? Start With That.

Have you ever wondered why some people seem to be able to shift their life quickly and in the direction they want…if you’re one of them – congratulations (the likelihood is, you’re not when you’re reading this)…and most of us find that really hard.

I was wondering for a long time what the key to that is. Or better: the right starting point. How the heck do those people get out of their bad habits or moving in circles?

Well, the answer sounds fairly simple:

It is all about AWARENESS.

Huh? That’s all?

Well, I found it is the starting point. Let me be more specific: it is the awareness for ourselves. Our behavior. Our triggers. Our patterns. And this is where it becomes rather complicated. As we tend to be rather blind towards ourselves. It′s a bit like standing too close to a wall. Then we basically don’t even see that it’s a wall, if you see what I mean.

Let me give you an example: I had this (annoying) habit of putting “I know” in all my sentences. Not once, not twice, no ALL the friggin’ time! And it sounded…well, awful. I did not notice. As I – as most of us do – did not really listen to myself thoroughly (well, most of us don’t even listen to others – hmmm, let me write about that another time – I’m digressing). And using certain words is simply a habit.

When someone listening to one of my videos gave me this feedback – thankfully in private, my first reaction was to feel rather ashamed. My second reaction: I was grateful. As now I could change it. 

And I started giving it some thought, how I could increase my awareness for myself – not just for what I say, but also for what I do, how I behave and react. It worked – and it did not only reveal to me what I’d like to change, it also made me aware of my great traits! So basically a double wammy! 

Here`s how I do it:

1.    Slowing down: if we run through our life with neck-breaking speed, we simply don’t have TIME to observe anything. Not with others and definitely not with ourselves. So, taking some time and seeing and hearing what we do and say is a great start.

2.    Listening. Thoroughly. TO OURSELVES. We all know that words have immense power. So, we might use words that harm us on a regular basis. Listening to what we think and say will reveal patterns – and I bet you’ll be surprised when you start doing that.

3.    Writing a journal. I did that for quite some time. And to my horror I noticed that I repeated behavior and situations (obviously talking about those of crises, rather than pleasure ;-)). I would have not noticed without being able to go back to previous entries. Sometimes it helps doing that for a month. Sometimes those patterns are further apart….depends on what it is. 

4.    Find a partner in crime: Remember what I said before: others see much more of us….voila. And while we’re practicing to become more aware, we can find ourselves someone who is willing to give us feedback and reflect back what they see and observe. WARNING: this can turn out in learning more about ourselves than we might be prepared to swallow. 

THAT is how we can start changing.

As we can only change what we know

And often it is the subconscious stuff or things we are simply not aware of standing in our way, that keep us away from living the life we really want. 

PS: Hey, life happens and there is always too much to do...so even sharpening awareness might be really hard, and we can fall of the wagon easily - even if we really want to change. You're not alone in this. That's what I noticed for myself and so I'm offering that to others now. Want a little help....here we go: Personal Leadership Academy