Want to Be a Better Leader? Make Sure You Master the 1-to-1

There's no meeting quite like the one-to-one.

In a fast-paced business environment, this vital pow-wow presents the opportunity to slow down and communicate in a more intimate context. Learn to conduct effective one-to-ones and you strengthen the bonds of trust and loyalty with your team. In contrast, fail to give these meetings the attention they deserve and you increase the disconnect between you and them.

So, how do you make sure you're making your one-to-ones all they can be?

I reached out recently to Kevin Varadian, a senior manager who's responsible for managing LinkedIn's small-business clients. After coming across Kevin's great slideshare presentation on effective one-to-ones, I wanted to hear what else he had to say.

Here are some highlights from our conversation.

1. Do your homework.

Well before the meeting, Kevin recommends learning about a direct report's previous weekend and future travel plans. Of course, the key is to be sincerely interested in people, and not to just "check the box."

"You have to be invested personally with each and every person on your team," says Kevin. "If you don't care, they won't either."

Other conversational topics include big wins from the previous week and current gossip or news around the office.

2. Give ownership to the employee.

It's important to remember that this is the employee's meeting. They should be responsible for providing the agenda, keeping it around five points or less.

Of course, you can add to the agenda if needed--but as the leader it's your responsibility to find time to discuss your report's points sufficiently.

3. Listen first.

Some managers tend to dominate the conversation in a one-to-one. But by going in with a "listen first" mentality, you gain a new perspective and make sure any coaching is well directed. In addition, you give them the chance to "clean out the cobwebs" and air any grievances.

Kevin encourages making yourself a captive audience, "fascinated by their every word with a 100 percent focus on them." Effective listening means resisting the urge to interrupt and developing the ability to ask discerning questions. (You can find more powerful listening techniques in my previous article about using listening to learn.)  

Remember: No one learned anything while speaking.

4. It's all about trust.

This should go without saying, but it's vital that managers never share personal information without the express consent of the person involved. If this trust is broken, it's nearly impossible to recover.

Additionally, the importance of follow-up can't be overemphasized. This is true of any meeting, but especially of a one-to-one. The quicker you act upon the individual's requests (Kevin recommends getting the ball rolling within 24 hours if possible), the more valuable the one-to-one meeting becomes.

And the more motivated that person will be to follow up on your action items, as well.

5. Look for coaching moments.

As a coach, it's important to ask good questions and inspire your team member to self-reflect.

For example, if the person communicates a lack of confidence in handling a matter, you could say:

"I get the feeling that you weren't sure what to do in this situation. What would you do differently if you could do it over again?"

As Kevin reminds us: "You are the manager largely because of your experience. Don't forget to bring your experience to the table for every single one-to-one."

6. Make it exciting!

It's easy for one-to-ones to become monotonous. It's your challenge to keep that from happening.

Instead of just having a discussion, how about using a whiteboard? Make your team member's narrative visual to help him or her think through what needs to be accomplished.

Is there any chance to get away? Scheduling your meeting on a rooftop or another unexpected location can be a great change of pace.

Kevin fondly recalls his most memorable one-to-one as an employee, when a manager surprised him by holding it on top of the Empire State Building. That option may not be readily available, but there are countless others--like making your one-to-one a walking meeting, or buying an individual his or her favorite coffee or tea. Get creative!

Remember, great leadership is about building mutual respect and cultivating relationships. The more effort you invest in your one-to-ones, the greater the opportunities to inspire your team.

How about you? Do you have any tips to make one-to-ones more effective? I'd love to hear them in the comments section.

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As an author and one of LinkedIn's Top Voices, I share my thoughts on management best practices and organizational culture weekly. If you're interested in reading my free monthly newsletter, click here or contact me via email using jbariso[at]insight-global.de. (Or feel free to follow me on LinkedIn or on Twitter @JustinJBariso.) 

I also write for Inc. and TIME. Some other articles you might enjoy:

• How Giving Up His Job Made This CEO a Better Leader
• Keeping It Real: The Power of Authentic Praise
• How to Give Negative Feedback That's Emotionally Intelligent
• These 3 Questions Will Immediately Increase Your Emotional Intelligence