Want to be a better communicator?

Would you like to be a better communicator?

This week's newsletter reviews where to start and how to start.

The Art of Listening

Steve Shallenberger has long said, "Better communication begins not with speaking but listening." If you want to be a better communicator, start by learning to listen more and listen more effectively (and we all can). And, you'll see these positive changes in your life:

• Stronger Relationships: As you listen more, you'll build higher levels of trust, deeper levels of connection, and more meaningful relationships with others.
• Reduced Misunderstandings: When you truly understand what someone is saying, you avoid costly and taxing misinterpretations and conflicts.
• Increased Learning: The more you listen, the more you learn! Also, you become more receptive to new ideas and perspectives as you learn to listen effectively.

Five Steps to Better Listening

Learning to really listen is a progression. It's learning to give people your full attention. It's learning to ask clarifying questions. It's learning to understand not only their words but also their feelings, emotions, and perspectives. And how do you develop these skills? Here are the five steps to effective listening (as taught by Becoming Your Best):

1. Look the person in the eyes. Pause what you're doing. Show the person they have your undivided attention, that you care, and that you want to understand.
2. Don’t worry about what you’re going to say next. The focus of listening is understanding, not responding. Give them your genuine full attention. Just listen.
3. Pay attention to body language. 55% of communication is non-verbal, 38% is vocal, and only 7% of communication is word choice. What is their body language telling you? What does their tone say? What are they feeling and conveying?? ?
4. Acknowledge them and what’s been said. This is an often missed step, but it's such a game changer! Recognize their effort, and acknowledge them. It's like giving the conversation a breath, or like white space in text. Try these simple phrases: "Thank you for sharing that." "I appreciate you sharing this. I know it must have bene hard." "I'm glad you shared this with me [name], thank you."
5. Repeat back and check for understanding. Confirm that you actually understand what's been said, and most importantly, see if there's anything else that's not been said yet. Try phrases like, "Tell me if I understood this correctly, you feel ..." or "you're saying that ..." And check with them: "Did I understand that right?" "Okay, is there anything else I should know or understand?"

Wrapping Up

So, give it a shot! Find a relationship or situation that could use these five steps, and commit to trying them. Use these five steps to listen more and listen more effectively. You'll improve your leadership, your relationships, your productivity, your connection with those around you, and your overall well-being. That’s becoming your best!

"The wise old owl lived in an oak The more he saw the less he spoke The less he spoke the more he heard Why can't we all be like that wise old bird?" ― Edward Richards

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