Wanna have a baby with me?

There's a theory that if your relationship isn’t going well, you should start looking for something to bring the pair of you together.

And what brings the spark back? Something romantic. Something you can work on together. Something that will align with your goals. So you start planning a long trip together, get married, or try for a child.

That might sound cynical, but I've seen it happen.

I once knew a couple that was about to break up, but then got pregnant and decided to give it another go — only to split a few years later.

Plastering over the cracks with a new “project” can only last so long.

You may even recognize this phenomenon at your company. Have you ever seen a new CEO whose first course of action was to ask for a design of a new logo and corporate identity?

That's an incredibly juicy project to bite your teeth in. It keeps many people busy and aligned around a new goal and distracts from the more fundamental problems there might be.

Or how about the team member who constantly demands more people to manage? Not only is this a surefire way to avoid working on any actual problems, it also makes the person in question look important because of how many individuals report to them.

Once again, a short term “project” was selected over confronting the actual issue.

Recently, I was scared I’d fallen into a similar trap. I'd looked at a house for sale, but it didn’t feel quite right.

I'm searching for a smaller place, preferably centrally located, with a balcony or garden. This house had it all. But it was too perfect. You could move in the next day and not have to fix a single thing.

That held me back. I realized I wasn't just looking for a new house, but also a new project. A finished place wouldn’t keep me busy and make me feel important for at least a year.

I expressed this fear to my daughter, who consoled me by explaining: no, you're not looking for a project, you just have so many ideas about what the perfect house is and want to make it your own.

I very much wanted to believe her. But I had to admit that, sometimes, it’s nice to simply have a project, something that makes you feel meaningful and productive — even when there’s no real need for it.

So, take a moment to consider why you’re doing the thing you do. Is it constructive? Or are you just trying to bring the romance back into... your job?