Wanna' Get High? Find Your Tribe!

Let’s take a trip back to 1967. This may be one of the most recognized songs ever. There have been more than 50 cover versions of the song and Ringo Starr still closes every concert with this song and the parting words, “peace and love.”

What John and Paul didn’t know then and what we know now is that we do get high with a little help from our friends – a natural high.  When we bond with others, the brain produces a hormone called oxytocin. It’s often called the cuddle drug or the love hormone because the strongest surges are produced during breastfeeding and sex. But we also get it from platonic touches and hugs. Even petting your dog or cat can give you a boost of oxytocin. And we now know that we get a boost of oxytocin when we bond with other people or feel like we belong to a tribe.

Earlier this year, I experienced this natural high when I found the No Longer Virtual tribe. I had no idea what to expect from Sarah Elkins’ brain child event other than some wicked smart people from my network would be attending. A previously scheduled speaking engagement put me in Chattanooga the day before, and a one-tank-trip to Atlanta seemed doable. I was in!

After having engaged with so many of these people on LinkedIn and beBee, I found myself face to face with some amazing rock stars! Those among them:

John White - blogger and social media extraordinaire

Dustin McKissen - consultant, strategist and CNBC contributor

Chris Spurvey - author of the best-selling business book It’s Time to Sell: Cultivating the Sales Mind-Set

Ben Walker - Founder and CEO at Transcription Outsourcing, LLC

Heather Younger - best-selling author of The 7 Intuitive Laws of Employee Loyalty (and the source of inspiration for this post)

Randy Bradley - cofounder of Life's Golden Rule

Sarah (Sally) McCabe - expert on empathy, trainer, patient advocate

Sandeep Aujla - change management strategist and speaker

Susan Rooks - the Grammar Goddess

Zach Messler - marketing expert and creator of awesomeness and BOOMshockalocka (yes, that's a real thing... just ask him!)

Amy Blachka - president of rbp Consulting and infectiously positive communicator

There were others... forgive me for not naming everyone! And after hearing Sarah (Sally) McCabe's presentation about empathy, we raised a glass or two for some of our friends who weren't able to attend. (Trent Selbrede, and Aaron Skogen)

Intellectually, I know what happens in my brain when I bond with others or feel connected to a tribe. (Check out the clip below to learn more about that.) But as professional experiences go, this was a high I had not anticipated. We shared knowledge, thoughts, questions, and sticky ideas. We laughed. We shared contact info. We clinked glasses.... a lot of glasses!

I’m not sure I ever thought about how to build a tribe before. But this event certainly epitomizes the rich rewards that are possible from being part of one. Since the conference, my connections with some of these folks have grown stronger, the mutual support has grown deeper and it’s safe to say we’ve all gotten a little smarter from sharing new thoughts, ideas, and learning.  

If you missed out on the 2017 event, make plans now to be part of the action in Denver, CO at the 2018 No Longer Virtual Conference.  Sarah Elkins has an amazing line-up of rockstars planned!  If you have the opportunity to attend, let me know and I’ll save you a seat.

At a time when virtual relationships are the rule rather than the exception, it’s easy to overlook cognitive and psychological benefits we get from rich, healthy, face-to-face social interactions. By all means, build your social network. But don’t overlook those opportunities to be a real live human being in the same airspace as another real live human being who shares your passions, values, or aspirations.  

So, go ahead and get high with a little help from your friends. Find a tribe or invite someone else into yours. And, tap into the power of eye contact, touches, and hugs and kisses, when appropriate.

Raise a glass to connecting with others, to getting a little high with your friends…  and to Ringo, and peace and love...out.