Of Wallpapers and Mirrors

There is no weapon more deadly than the will.- Bruce Lee

I've had that quote as my laptop wallpaper for quite a few years now; words to keep me going, especially when the negativity creeps in and threatens to overpower me. These days, I find myself staring at them more often. They seem to resonate more, and penetrate a little deeper; not just a cool background anymore.

Having just finished my first term, I've definitely been forced to hold a mirror up to myself again. I am reminded of that feeling of vulnerability, and how difficult it was to look at my reflection. I felt it in medical school in the Philippines being repeatedly torn down and built up again in the world of medicine, and again when I started out in New York applying for odd jobs because I couldn't work as a doctor yet. I eventually found work as a nurse's aide until I could start formal training. I've found that everything I've been through has taught me to see things from different perspectives and adapt.

In my own way, making the decision to pursue a full-time MBA at RSM (Rotterdam School of Management) during this time felt like kismet. I chose this path way before the pandemic began, but to begin in 2021, almost a year after the world stopped, felt right to me. In my mind, this was me exerting my will on this world, not wanting my circumstances to decide for me. I believed that this was the best time to reinvent myself, chart a new course for me and my family, and adapt to a new and changed world that I was sure would emerge from all of this tragedy. To me, there was no better time to just do it. In the words of the immortal Yoda, "do or do not, there is no try."

Things are so uncertain nowadays. Doubt seems to be the prevailing theme of the past few years, and I don't just mean 2020-21. But yeah, it's all come together over the past 12 months. A friend of mine once said that 2020 was going to be a year of reckoning, and that the following year was when we would only start to build things up again. Oddly enough, he mentioned this months before everything went upside down. Looking back on everything that's happened, his words ring loud and true.

One day, these things will end, and we will have to start picking up the pieces because there will still be challenges to face. We will all have to hold that mirror up to ourselves because all of us will be vulnerable, and many of us will be exposed. We need to start finding new ways to build, collaborate, and move forward. I aim to be ready when that time comes. I will.