Walking into the Unknown with Jay Andrews

Have you ever experienced a time when you refused to pay attention to your inner compass? You might have been in a toxic relationship or a toxic job; knowing full well that you needed to get out but ignored that voice? Possibly, it was the fear of the unknown that made you ignore the inner sirens.

The universe, in its benevolence, does everything it can to nudge you along your highest destiny. And when you consistently disregard the inner guidance, the universe sometimes creates dire circumstances in your life. This intervention could manifest as you abruptly losing your job, getting a divorce, having an accident, or coming close to dying. My guest this week found himself in a similar situation. He knew he wasn’t headed on the right path and yet, chose to live his life with blinders on. Read on to find how the universe interjected in his life and set him on a course of conscious and soulful living. 

My twelfth guest for ‘Walking into the Unknown' series is Jay Andrews, a Professional speaker, Self-leadership coach, and a Thought Leader. Jay is the CEO and Founder of RippleEffect, a company that helps individuals make a positive impact in their lives.

Question: When did you decide to step into the unknown?

Jay: The big jump into the unknown happened almost ten years ago when I had a series of events that altered my life. It was mid-summer, and I started getting sick. I was experiencing physical pain, and couldn’t figure out what was wrong with me. When the pain didn’t go away, I decided to see a doctor. I got a few lab tests done, and when the results came in, the doctor sat me down and said Jay; I got good news and bad news.

The bad news is that you have a rare blood disorder for which there is no cure; the good news is that we caught it early so we can keep you alive longer. This news shook me up, to say the least. I recall getting out of the doctor’s office, sitting in my car, and having a complete meltdown. I cried like there was no tomorrow. And I was someone who never cried. 

Three weeks later, on a typical Sunday morning, I hopped into my car to grab a cup of coffee and Sunday newspaper from a local store. On my way back home, I got involved in a horrific car accident. I suffered damage to my lower back, to the prefrontal cortex and the left side of my body. I had to learn to walk again. There’s no medical reason how and why I survived the accident. During the process of intense rehab, I did the unthinkable - I got out of my marriage. 

When the universe pushes you in a corner, you can either blame the circumstances, or choose to become honest with yourself. 

I looked at myself and said, the universe has kicked me twice and is telling me to wake up. 

If my life were a movie, one would think that the main character is getting his act together, and now the movie can wrap up. But oh no, life had other plans for me. All of a sudden, I got punched in the face again; I got diagnosed with skin cancer. And this diagnosis hurt, like really hurt because I had seen my father struggle with cancer. I wasn’t sure if I had it in me to overcome cancer. Thankfully, I took some experimental pills instead of radiation that put cancer in remission. 

Question: How did the decision of walking into the unknown pan out for you?

Jay: I sometimes like to think of life with the analogy of a boxing ring. You get in the ring, and you are dancing & joking & you are all cocky. Life throws a punch at you, and it misses you. Life throws another punch, and it almost gets you, but it doesn’t take away the arrogance and the cockiness of who you are. And then all of a sudden you get hit, and it takes the wind out of you, and then you get hit again, and you fall. And in this adversity, is a gift of choice and resilience.

You can choose to keep laying on the mat and wait until counted out. Or, you look over to other humans and ask them for help. Or, you pick yourself off the ground, look life in the face, and say, is that the best you got? I chose the third option. I got off the mat and looked into my fears and embraced them. 

I had a dream I was going to live until 85-90 years, and then the blood disorder diagnosis made me realize, that that’s not happening. And then all of a sudden I was coming to terms with the fact that I only had 25-30 years left. I feel the car accident was a wake-up call for me, but I was still afraid, afraid of truly jumping into the unknown. And then cancer was like the last push.

I had to give up all pretense and come clean to myself.

As a man, it is particularly challenging to be vulnerable. I was afraid to feel, afraid of abandonment, and even afraid to fail. In living through cancer, I chose to acknowledge who I was on the inside. I now wear my heart on my sleeves; it’s part of my chemical makeup. I have experienced the potent power of love and choose to live from that place. 

I have come to realize that the days of being tough or being a macho man are over.

When you combine your head and your heart, you will always come out stronger.

It might sound odd, but the greatest gift I ever received was knowing my expiration date.

If you knew when you were going to die, I bet you would value your time a lot more, treat people with kindness, and become focused in the present. Right? 

When you have the gift of life taken away from you three times in a row, you really start to value life. I now see myself as an expert in adversity and resilience. And I feel incredibly blessed to coach and motivate people to become the best version of themselves. When people tell me that what I said or did changed their life, that gives me an instant high; I feel like I have just won a lottery or become an instant billionaire. If what you are doing makes you feel wealthy on the inside, keep doing it. 

Question: What are the top three lessons you learned by walking into the unknown? 

Jay: The first lesson I learned was if you’re scared, you’re alive. Stop leaning back and lean forward into fear and the unknown and success. Everyone’s looking for success, and yet, when you’re on the cusp of success, most people pull away from it. So lean into success, like you would lean into fear, and don’t be scared of it.

The second lesson I learned is, to be honest with yourself. When I spend too much time on Netflix or phone, it’s because I am avoiding something. Instead of labeling myself as a procrastinator, I go within and ask myself, what am I resisting and why? If I’m not willing, to be honest with myself, then, unfortunately, I know that I will remain stuck like a hamster on the wheel.  

The third lesson I learned was no one has all the answers. I don’t care how much education or life experience a person has. You know, I used to think that I had all the answers, but in reality, I didn’t. Can you imagine being so ignorant and arrogant? None of us have all the answers, and that’s what makes us so beautifully imperfect. We must be willing to keep learning and growing. 

In Conclusion,

Own your now. It’s not about what you did yesterday, or even last year. If you don’t take care of what you’re doing in the moment, then all that stuff you say is going to happen in future is not going to happen because you’ll screw something up. Value your NOW because that’s where the magic is.

I hope you learned valuable lessons from Jay's sharing. Please make sure to connect with Jay on LinkedIn, Facebook, Twitter, or Email.

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If you struggle with Fear and Failure, then please make sure to check out my book on Overcoming Fear and Failure here.