WALKING THE TIGHTROPE TODAY: 'Bringing Your Whole Self to Work” vs. 'Not Letting Them See You SWEAT'

As an executive, manager, or team leader, have you ever been conflicted by or walked the tightrope of navigating these two opposing philosophies/practices below?

"Bringing your whole self to work" vs. "Not letting them see you sweat."

Or, concerned that if you let your guard down and show some vulnerability through sharing personal challenges, you may be judged by others, or that those you lead may do the same (and what might be the implications and impacts of such)?

I recently struggled with this... here's my story!

Recovering from a very invasive gum graft surgery (if you know, you know), I was conflicted about mentioning it in my various online meetings. (I should have canceled them, but these meetings were important and time-sensitive for course development. Moreover, my past surgeries like this healed much quicker!)

Starting these meetings, I was indeed conflicted. Should I mention my mouth surgery or keep a stiff upper lip (pun intended)? I hope it wasn't too obvious or an impediment to understanding me.

Will they think it odd that I seem groggy and can barely open my mouth?

Should I just pretend I am not in severe pain and hope the drugs don't make me incoherent?

What did I do?

I let the meeting participants in on what was going on...it felt right!

(Mind you, I may have milked it a little. Sometimes, we want a little consoling and pity right, especially when the pain is so intense.).

This balancing act/ethical dilemma and mouth pain) actually woke me up at 1 am one night and prompted the writing of this EWU issue.

In discussing this newsletter topic with Kim Goeltom, a talented graduate of our Workplace Wellness certification programs and current participant of our Certified Executive Wellness Coach Course, shared this interesting perspective below that I had not considered.

"Based on what I have seen lately on social media, some people are having difficulty dealing and feeling tightroped with everything going on politically (particularly in the US). People fear that if they stand up for or express themselves, their concerns and worries, they may be fired, or other outcomes."

Additionally, discussing, understanding, and reconciling these two philosophies on this issue might prompt open dialogue and help leaders and employees navigate modern professional environments more effectively.

I hope the considerations below offer some guidance on professional demeanor and personal authenticity on this topic and illuminate/prompt discussion of the evolving attitudes and demeanors around emotional transparency and vulnerability in our jobs.

Bringing Our Whole Selves to Work

"Bringing your whole self to work" emphasizes the value of authenticity and self-integration in the workplace.

Rooted in concepts of Emotional Intelligence and Psychological Safety, the debate of bringing one's authentic self to work underscores the complexities of expressing one's true personality, values, and emotions in their job.

A key advantage and benefit to add to the others below is that bringing our whole selves to our work helps foster cultures of inclusivity, as individuals are more likely to contribute meaningfully when they feel accepted and valued for who they are.

Benefits:

1. Improved Team Dynamics: By encouraging authenticity, teams can develop more profound understanding and empathy among members, fostering more genuine relationships and better collaboration.

?2. Increased Engagement: When employees feel they can be themselves, they are often more focused, less inhibited, engaged, and motivated, leading to higher productivity and satisfaction.

3. Enhanced Innovation: Diverse perspectives and the freedom to express unique ideas can lead to more creative problem-solving and innovation.?

Challenges:

1. Fear of Judgement/Ridicule/Reprisals: What will my peers or reports think if I share or overshare my personal challenges, struggles, health issues, etc?

2. Boundaries: There is a delicate balance between self-expression and maintaining professionalism, which varies significantly across cultures and industries.

3. Emotional Burden: Sharing personal experiences and emotions might lead to emotional exhaustion if not managed properly.

Don’t Let Them See You Sweat

On the other hand, the philosophy "Don't let them see you sweat!" underscores the importance of composure and resilience under pressure.

This mindset encourages professionalism and demands a certain level of emotional control, ensuring that stress and challenges do not visibly affect one's performance or demeanor...both of yourself and those you lead.

Benefits:

?1. Perceived Competence: Demonstrating calmness and control under pressure can enhance others' perceptions of your competence and leadership abilities.

2. Stability and Trust: Colleagues, clients, and employees are more likely to trust and rely on leaders who maintain a steady demeanor, particularly in high-stakes situations.

3. Focus on Solutions: By not displaying stress, as a leader, you might find it easier to remain solution-focused and proactive in addressing challenges.?

Challenges:

1. Emotional Suppression: Constantly hiding one’s stress and struggles can lead to emotional suppression, potentially resulting in burnout over time.

?2. Authenticity Concerns: By masking emotions, it might appear less genuine, potentially hindering relationship building and open communication among your team members.

?3. Limited Support: If colleagues or supervisors are unaware of your challenges, you might miss out on valuable support and resources that could aid problem resolution.

Finding the Middle Ground: Two Case Studies

Consider the stories of Anna and Mark, each illustrating the balance and convergence of "Bringing one's whole self to work" and "Don't let them see you sweat."

Anna: Embracing Authenticity

Anna, a Director at a high-paced advertising firm, is known for her vibrant personality and unique perspective.

Early in her career, she struggled with fitting into the corporate mold, often suppressing her ideas for fear of being misunderstood.

When her company introduced a more inclusive policy encouraging employees to "bring their whole selves to work," Anna saw an opportunity.

She began sharing her unconventional ideas and personal stories during team meetings, creating a marketing campaign that resonated deeply with a diverse audience.

This authenticity not only enhanced her contributions but also inspired her colleagues to share their perspectives, fostering a culture of innovation and inclusivity within the team.

However, Anna was careful not to overshare.

She balanced personal expression with maintaining professional boundaries, ensuring her contributions were relevant and beneficial to the team's objectives.?

Mark: Cultivating Composure

Mark, a senior project manager at a tech firm, often faced tight deadlines and high-pressure situations. Known for his steadiness, Mark lived by the philosophy, "Don't let them see you sweat."

During a critical project presentation, the team's software unexpectedly crashed, causing visible panic among team members.?

Despite being tired from only two hours of sleep the night before (he kept that little detail to himself), he drew on his problem-solving abilities.

He engaged the audience with a brief discussion on the project’s objectives while the tech team resolved the issue.

His composed demeanor helped maintain the audience's confidence, and he completed the presentation with minimal disruption.

While Mark exuded calmness behind the scenes, he practiced immense diligence, preparing for potential setbacks by building contingency plans.

He also investigated the source of the tech issues to help ensure it did not happen again.

His approach to managing stress internally, his keen problem-solving skills, and his request for constructive feedback on how he handled the situation ensured he could maintain composure and growth in other similar situations, two core values he prided himself on.

Harmonizing the Two

Anna and Mark’s stories illustrate that while authenticity and composure might seem opposing, they can coexist effectively.

Anna's authenticity drove innovation, inspiring her team to explore new creative avenues. Mark’s steadiness instilled confidence and showcased resilience under pressure.

By learning from both, we can strive to create environments where it's safe to express genuine thoughts and ideas while maintaining professionalism.

Practicing Emotional Intelligence can guide us when to lean into authenticity or composure, ultimately creating a balanced, thriving workplace culture that values diversity of thought and emotional resilience.?

Anna and Mark's experiences illustrate that navigating these two philosophies involves understanding personal and organizational dynamics and applying them flexibly to achieve professional success while remaining true to our values.

Their stories and the considerations below also offer teachable moments and insights for coaching employees as leaders (considerations addressed in our upcoming Leader Turned COACH Course, March 13 and 20, 2025).

Additional Considerations for Striking a Balance

Navigating between "Bringing your whole self to work" and "Not letting them see you sweat" often requires a nuanced approach and special considerations such as the following.

Establish Professional Boundaries

It's crucial to identify what aspects of your personal life enhance your professional contributions and where boundaries should be maintained.

Sharing insights that foster connectivity without overstepping personal boundaries can ensure both authenticity and professionalism.

Cultivate Emotional Intelligence

Developing Emotional Intelligence is key to managing personal emotions while understanding and empathizing with others. This allows for an authentic presence without being overwhelmed by stress or deeply involving others in personal challenges.

Leverage Contextual Awareness

Understanding the varying dynamics within different workplace contexts can inform how much of your authentic self to present.

In some environments, openness may be encouraged, while others might require a more reserved presentation.

Practice "Resilient Authenticity"

Cultivate resilience by acknowledging stress and challenges internally while working on constructive ways to address them.

Sharing struggles selectively with trusted colleagues can lead to a supportive working environment without compromising professionalism.?

Closing Thoughts

The described philosophies and practices of?"Bringing your whole self to work" and "Not letting them see you sweat" offer valuable insights for navigating modern work environments.

While one emphasizes authenticity and openness, the other champions composure and resilience.

By blending the two, leaders and others can foster a healthy, productive, and supportive workplace that values personal authenticity and professional demeanor.

By consciously applying these principles, leaders and employees can build workplaces that thrive on open expression and steady, solution-focused practices.

What about you?

I would love to hear your thoughts and experiences in the Comments on how you walk the tightrope and balance the two!

Leaders, if you were inspired by this topic, check out our final public offering of the Leader Turned COACH Course happening March 10 and 13, 9 to 1 pm EST.*

*NOTE: This will be the last opportunity to enroll in the LTC as a public offering as it is transitioning to an internal, organization-sponsored course.)

Acquire a FREE Leader Turned COACH resource for a limited time to add to your leadership toolkit!

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Introducing Lisa Kelly

Lisa Kelly, President and Founder of Kelly Wellness Consulting Inc. and the?Workplace Wellness Centre of Excellence, has been cultivating healthy changes in workplaces and individuals across the globe for over 25 years.

Through her WWCOE certification and training programs, consulting, and corporate solutions, Lisa’s mission is to create an innovative and collaborative landscape for Workplace Wellness that fosters inclusive and responsive wellness solutions benefiting employees, employers, and communities.

She has extensive achievements in Workplace Wellness, leadership, and culture development with corporate and government sectors as a global Workplace Wellness certification provider, trainer, and consultant.

As a Certified Executive Coach, she supports the well-being and professional growth of senior leaders.

She holds a Master of Education and a Bachelor of Commerce degree, a Diploma in Natural Nutrition, a Personal Training certification, and multiple Executive Coaching certifications.

Welcoa recognized Lisa as a Top 100 Health Promotion Professional through its 2014 DISH contest.

Lisa and her husband, Peter, are co-authors of the book?Cultivating Healthy & Vibrant Workplaces?(2023).