Walking hand in hand with Love, Suffering, Loss, and Grit. ??

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What do you do? Run, avoid, try to turn back, or be still in the moment and feel all the feels?

?Last week was a lesson in its plenty.

??? A close family member in turmoil (although deeply affected by this, it is not my story to share)

??? I lost one of my best friends, and one of the greatest people I have ever met last Thursday.

??? My sister/best friend got married on Saturday.

??? I had a book reading in local library, P4/5's coming to 'meet the author'

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It was a week of breathing in the tears, standing strong against despair, relishing in the joy of my sister’s special day, and showing up when I felt I had nothing left to give.

? Here is what I learned from suffering:

‘What good's a lighthouse when the light is burnin' out’ You can guide people towards light, but you cannot make them see it.

Despair if you allow it, will steal the show. It will take over your thoughts, dominate your mind with negative emotions, and supress your positive emotions. It will hinder your creative side, your zest for life, your natural energy field.

It will create the worst images in your mind, ones that may or may not come true. It will catastrophise everything, and force you into a hypervigilant, state of fight or flight.

It will force you stay busy, push you towards burnout, and away from peace, but you must not succumb to it.

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? Here is what I learned from Friendship and Loss:

As I sat with my friend on for the last time on the 25th of May, she had a new routine of manifesting and praying/chanting. Something she never saw herself do, but it worked. She was never praying for health as she knew it was too late, above everything she was praying for peace. Peace is what she found.

She had no idea when the time would come, but she knew she didn’t have long, but that didn’t stop her seeking out joy in every new day.

Humour was her greatest gift, along with her ability to light a candle for others, care for others, champion others. Even in her worst moments, and on her worst days, she could still find the energy to listen with compassion and immerse herself in their joy.

I have many feelings around my grief, but guilt is not one of them. I did not shy away from her pain, her hard to tell moments, or her struggle. It was a gift to be there and be not what I thought she needed, but what I heard her say she needed. This gift was a two way friendship, she demonstrated this skill like it was an art.

? Here is what I learned from Love:

?Real Love! The strength and depth of a couple’s love, is not found in the greatest moment of life, the early days, the honeymoon period. The greatest strength is found in the most difficult times. Knowing when life knocks you down, your love still stands, your bond holds, and your commitment to each other stands the test of time.

Real love is not exclusive to a couple, this version of love can be experienced in many relationships throughout life.

Which is why, nothing could stand in the way of me being there on for my sister on Saturday, my declaration to the bond my sister and I share.?

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? Here’s what I learned from Showing up

Even we feel we have nothing to give, we always have an untapped reserve.

No problem too big to be eased in the company of children and supportive adults. I was tempted to cancel as I was worried that I couldn’t deliver in my usual energy field. Then I thought it is children, they don’t need perfection, they just need me to show up, and so I did. For the entire time I was with the children, I thought of nothing else, as their energy and curiosity is highly engaging.

The supervisor at the library, who I don’t know all that well but well enough. Was incredibly supportive, and stepped in at the right moments, and out at the right moments. He didn’t know the full extent of my week, but his kindness was duly noted and gratefully received.