Walking Away From You

Walking Away From You

#New #Finished #Poetry #Pain #Hurt #Thisonehurts

Walking Away From You.

I never knew how just hard that
It was going to be to walk away
and leave you because of all the
love that I hold for you in my heart
and deep down in my soul that I
know will never fade and while I
watch you laying there sleeping
in our bed the one that we made
together my eyes are filled with
so many tears that are falling down
like the rain

I remember all the years we have
had since that beautiful sunny day
when we said I do under that big
shade tree down by the lake you
remember the one just outside of town
then as I take a big deep breath and
try to swallow the pain of a broken
heart is causing a heavy pounding in
my chest as I fall down to my knees
and I cry shaking my head I look up
to God and I wonder why as I say
under my breath in a whisper you
barely even hear:

“She does not love me like I
have always loved her but I
know that the woman whom
I married still lives inside of her
she was so sweet and innocent
and I miss her and who she used
to be and God I truly did believe
and I still do believe in my heart
that we were meant to be but after
all these years of her lies and
deceit my eyes have been now
opened and I can finally see that
she will never be the one whom
I need”

As I stand back up and I look down
at her my soul cries out to me and
says that she is the one and that is
without a doubt but my heart breaks
while it bleeds and as I turn to leave
I still cannot believe how much this
is going to hurt me but I must be strong
so that I can go forward and finally
move on for it has been to way to
long that I wept and just as I shut
the door the tears start to fall even
more then I wonder if a tear will even
fall across her check when I am gone
and then just as I start the car to
leave I hear her calling out to me but
I know down deep that she has never
really cared if I leave so I must be
strong for me.

Loving her so deep I gave my heart,
my soul, my mind, my time, my
everything yet it was never enough so
I gave her clothes, cars, and diamond
rings yet she just threw them all away
like my love I was always around to help
her out whenever things went wrong but
she never cared for all that long before I
was left alone out In the cold in the dark
and rain.

After all these many years of me giving
her my love for her to see always hoping
that I would receive anything but empty
promises but leaving her is going to still
be the hardest thing in my life that I will
ever do for I know that in my mind that I
will never be able to find love again for
my heart will never beat again as my
soul is now singing the blues.

I will always for the rest of my human life
remember all the good times we had when
we were being bad and as I say my last
goodbyes to you still feeling like a fool just
know that my love for has always been true
even as you cheated and you lied because
no matter what you ever did I could not help
to always forgive just hoping that I might
feel your love one day.

But ten years have now gone by and I
know now that it was all a lie for all you
did after all this time was always played
with my heart, soul, and deep within the
recess of my mind and now that I sit here
and I am all alone with my head just a
mess from all of my sorrow and past
regrets of ever meeting you and if I could
turn back time to erase you off my mind
I would have never have had felt all of
this pain like I now do.

So after all these years of me loving you
while you played me just like a fool it is time
that I stand on my two feet which God has
given me the hope to be able to move
forward with my life and he has given me the
strength to let you go so that I can finally
say goodbye.

Richard M Knittle Jr. ?2016

 

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