Walk into, not fall in love

I hope the title of this article does not cause dissonance in my readers. Why should a person walk into love and not fall into it – literally immersing oneself in love? My reader would agree with me that figuratively, those who walk into situations come out less bruised than those who fall into them. Against this background I humbly advise that one needs to differentiate between the Christian heart and the lustful heart.

The Christian heart consists of five elements as follows:

1.  Conscience: Voice of the Holy Spirit

2.  Devotion: The part of man that makes a person submit to something –   literally worshipping it.

3.  Belief: That is accepting something without questioning. What is it that is making you accept the relationship? Is it really of God? Are you honest about it? Does your partner appear to be honest, have you audited her/him, are there signs of faking?

4.  Intention: What makes you resolve to surrender yourself to the person? Are your actions intentional or pressured by friends, family members, or mere desire to belong; a feeling to cover up despondency in you? Would you be disappointed and bitter if you do not receive corresponding response from your partner? Can you be forgiving and pray for your partner’s release from you?

5.  Spirit: What enters and dwells in you and governs you about the relationship? Is it of sincere but alert love – minded against faking and deceit from your partner, or are you so foolishly sold out to him/her as to be vulnerable to manipulation? If the latter is the case, then you have your emotion on in the relationship instead of your head. You need to apply your head – your brain – for your safety in the relationship.

You need to protect your heart with due diligence so you may not be led astray. Solomon with all his wisdom was led astray by many of his idol worshipping wives and concubines. So was King Ahab whose heart was taken charge of by Jezebel.

Examine yourself critically. Are you going into the relationship as a gardener or just a consumer? Would you be devoted to the garden and tend it, or just enjoy it by harvesting as much you could? Is your partner showing that kind of tendency? Is he/she helping you to create, or just helping to consume?

Are you going into, or are you in the relationship as a landlord or tenant? Follow your heart, but go along with your brain.

Ketiboa Blay is a socioeconomic development management specialist with outstanding expertise in baseline research; community needs assessment, community development planning; and projects, programmes and policy technical review and evaluation. He has considerable expertise also in conflict management. As a non-denominational Christian evangelist, Mr Blay is also a peace-builder.