Wake up and smell the exploitation

In my ongoing effort to share "Things I wish I knew 20 years ago" for our growing group of young leaders, here's one: you're never too successful to escape exploitation. Here's how I learned to use the biggest vulnerability of those in power to protect myself.

Some years ago, an employer sat me down for what I thought would be a promotion. Instead, the employer told me my pay would be cut in half when my contract renewal came up. The meeting sent me into a tailspin. Without a family to support me, I feared how I would pay my rent or even stay in the country. I was so frightened, in fact, that I neglected to consider whether the employer was actually able to execute on the threat.

Some years later, I was presented with another difficult situation. In this case, I was supervising several employees myself. The employer left all responsibility for their work performance up to me. But when one of the employees neglected their duties, the employer ignored my pleas to end their employment and instead ordered me to financially compensate for the lost work. When I refused due to lack of funds, I was told to look elsewhere for further employment.

It is only after several years of facing such incidents that I understood an obvious but often overlooked truth:

Exploitation avoids responsibility.

I learned later that the employer who threatened my salary was also going through financial turmoil. Looking back, it made sense to try and cut the salary of one of the youngest employees, especially one who was relying on them for an employment visa. In the second case, I had recently started a collaboration with an organization that the employer wanted to work with directly. That meant I was in the way.

After several years, I learned I made two major mistakes:

1. I took advice from the wrong people

I have a wonderful circle of friends and advisors who have been essential to my success. But my advisors overwhelmingly come from (relatively) privileged backgrounds - white, male, middle class, or with families who support them. This meant they had rarely been in vulnerable positions, and the possibility that I could be exploited didn't occur to them, especially when (Bless them!) they saw me as a highly successful and competent professional.

2. I spent too much time wondering what I'd done wrong

In these and other cases, I worried far too long about how I had put myself in such a position - especially after I became a successful professional. But no matter how successful I am, I will always be two things: a woman and an immigrant. This means I fall into two underrepresented categories, at least in the workplaces I've been in. And those in power, especially those without integrity, will prey upon those weaknesses no matter how successful I become.

Set an alarm

Like anyone who needs to wake up, I have learned to set an alarm. When I feel I am being treated unfairly by someone in power, my alarm is a checklist:

1. Self-evaluate. Did I make a mistake that led to this treatment? If so, discuss with that person how to alleviate the problem.
2. Ask for an explanation. If I don't feel I've done anything wrong, I ask for the reasoning behind this treatment. Importantly: make sure this reasoning is put in writing, especially if there are contractual consequences.
3. Is the treatment ethical or legal? If neither 1 or 2 are true, then I need to stand up for myself. Is this treatment legal? Hint: If you're in a underrepresented group in your community, chances are that the person in power didn't bother to check before trying to exploit your vulnerability.

Use the biggest vulnerability of those in power against them.

People in power often come from privilege. They have no idea what it is like to be exploited. That is their weakness. No one questions them or their integrity. So they bend the rules. But you must know the rules. And use the rules to fight back. Even if you are in an environment where rules are often broken, people in power still value at least appearing virtuous. So use those appearances to defend yourself. Because if you are in a vulnerable situation, you might very well be the only one fighting.

And try to find someone who has been in your position to ask for advice. Don't have someone? Drop me a line. Because honey, I've been there!