Waiting is the Worst

I’ve been told more than once that I may have a small problem with patience.?

Many years ago, I was helping my then girlfriend (now wife) move from one apartment to another.?As I’m sure you’re well aware, moving is awful. It involves lots of trips in and out of box trucks, navigating further through small doors, and a decent amount of body odor.?

I would probably rather have appendicitis than ever move again.?

But I was in love and would do whatever this young woman asked of me. Still, I wanted it to be over as quickly as possible.

I rushed in and out of her apartment, often asking, “Can’t we just throw this away?” I paid very little attention to what I was doing, and received the “Slow down and be careful!” warning about every 7 minutes.?

Dismissing this advice, I picked up a small dresser and made my way to the moving van. Unfortunately, in my haste I failed to notice that the drawers had yet to be removed. Seconds after picking up the dresser, one of the drawers - a very heavy piece of wood - fell out and landed on my big toe. I screamed, uttered every curse word I had ever learned and sat on the front step hoping the pain would go away.

After a few minutes, I decided it was prudent to take off my shoe and look at the damage. I didn’t even need to see the toe because my sock was full of blood. I rushed off to the emergency room and received five stitches in what the doctor admitted was probably the most sensitive part of the entire body.?

Unless you’re the one easy-going laid-back overachiever on the planet, you don’t like waiting any more than I do.?

You roll your eyes at the checkout line when someone reaches for coupons, honk at the car in front of you 0.5 seconds after the light turns green, and assume you’re being ignored if your text isn’t returned immediately.?

Patience is one of the most challenging characteristics for a driven individual to acquire. No matter what we do, we will not have a significant transformation in our behavior overnight. We’ve been doing it our way for a long time and meaningful change rarely happens quickly.

Steven Pressfield said it best in his bestselling book The War of Art:?

“...any act that rejects immediate gratification in favor of long-term growth, health, or integrity. Or, expressed another way, any act that derives from our higher nature instead of our lower. Any of these will elicit Resistance.”?

That’s the bad news.?

The good news is that we can discipline ourselves to patiently work through this process and see a measurable difference in our quality of life.?

Set Clear Expectations

As you begin this process of recovering from your overachievement addiction, recognize that this journey will never end. You will always be a work in progress.?

The world is going to keep reinforcing the broken definition of success (work a ton, earn recognition,? money and acquisitions, then repeat) and you will feel the temptation to jump back on the treadmill.?

Resist this urge and recognize the long game.?

Eat the Elephant

You know the best way to eat an elephant - one bite at a time. Even though the process of transformation is uncomplicated, you will struggle if you try to work on too many things at once.?

You can set aside a morning to identify your unique talents, decide which relationships are most important and set some killer goals - but I would advise against it. Quick and rushed effort leads to crappy results.?

Take it one step at a time and you will be more likely to succeed.?

Reflect

As you move through your journey, frequently pause and think about what you’re learning about yourself. (This will be a fairly frustrating exercise for all of us overachievers who simply want a checklist.)?

The truth is that while your growth won’t be easy to put into a spreadsheet, it will be meaningful and will have a huge impact in your life.?

Unless you reflect, you won’t notice the progress you’ve actually made along the way. Small changes are subtle and life altering that way.?

Remember

“All good things come to those who wait.” Violet Fane

Discussion Questions:

1. Who is one person(s) that would benefit from you slowing down and being more patient?
2. What mistakes could you avoid if you were more patient?
3. What triggers in your day-to-day environment (e.g. – any alert on your phone/watch) make it more difficult to practice patience?

—CJ McClanahan

Speaker | Advisor | Recovering Overachiever