Wait. What just happened? “That ain’t right.”

Wait. What just happened? “That ain’t right.”

Many years ago, I was at a Chris Rock comedy show and recall a skit that was hilarious. Chris presented the audience with a series of scenarios in juxtaposition to other scenarios. He would pause to give you just enough time to think about it and then end each bit with the punchline, “That ain’t right.” The audience roared every time. Comedians can deftly raise an issue, place it in context of real life, and with timing and delivery, make you think and laugh.

Imagine my surprise to wake up Monday morning to the news of Will Smith slapping Chris Rock… on stage… in front of a live audience…. to laughter and then disbelief.

As you process what you saw, you quickly realize, as Chris Rock said himself, “that ain’t right.” ?

Chris Rock made a joke about Jada Pinkett Smith rocking her beautiful, shaved head, at a time when black women are celebrating professional head shots with natural hair styles and raising attention to cultural biases through the Crown Act, which aims to prohibit race-based hair discrimination. That ain’t right.

How casual it was for Will Smith to stroll on stage, open his hand with ease to slap another human being in the face, as if it were a scene in a movie, not on a live broadcast awards show, then politely return to his seat and heckle the comedian from the audience. That ain’t right.

When did we become a society that carelessly abuse one another verbally, emotionally, and physically?

We learn at an early age not to respond to words with physical violence. Yet violence permeates many communities at alarming rates, that continue to rise. ?

The ease with which Will Smith returned to his seat, the remarks of the award participants following the incident, and the continuation of the program without any consequences for an open assault in real time were astounding.?

Have we so normalized violence that when it appears in the most unexpected scenarios we shrug it off and continue our daily business??

Would this have been the same reaction if the gender, race, ethnicity, religion or sexuality of the two people were different? How would we have responded if Will Smith had slapped one of the female Oscar hosts or a white male comedian? What if the person who slapped Chris Rock was woman or white man? Mix it up. Add a transgender or openly gay person, or an individual who expressed their religion through their clothing. Funny? Of course not. Able to keep it moving without a pause? Not likely.

Here we have two men of the same race get into a public altercation and we simply go on with the show.

Though Will Smith has since apologized, it doesn’t negate the normalization of violence, particularly when it is between members of the same gender, race, ethnicity, and cultural beliefs. Usually, these incidents receive little attention. For instance, in 2021, in one of our largest cities, 80 percent of homicide victims were Black, and most perpetrated by other Black people. The pandemic of violence in our community is largely undiscussed and reduced to an annual data point.

Will references being a “work in progress” in his apology. We all are a work in progress, and the past two years especially have brought many pressures and issues others may not be aware of. Mental health issues are on the rise, and communities of color continue to be significantly impacted. As community acts of violence go unchecked, the toll that takes on individuals mental health increases.

So, what can you do?

There are many ways to take action, and we should start with using our voice. Name what is happening, even when it is uncomfortable. Don’t shrug it off or wait until an incident makes the news. Break generational cycles of not talking about it.

Secondly, take action.

I am inspired by stories of action, like Jennifer Maddox, a police officer on the south side of Chicago who opened a safe-haven for kids to get them off the streets. Jennifer was recognized for her passion and service as a Daily Point of Light Award honoree and a 2018 L’Oreal Woman of Worth finalist.

Your actions don’t have to be as grand as Jennifer’s. You can volunteer at a domestic abuse shelter. You can take actions to address the systemic challenges that cause community violence. And most importantly, you can be a light for others by changing the way you react and behave in response to others.

I am grateful to Jennifer and the countless others who are lighting the way for change in communities of color. There are enough challenges in our communities – let’s not normalize violence against each other, whether verbal, emotional or physical. The show does not have to go on.